~“The Blog That Watches Back”~

Sunday, September 14

Judgement

I know my "ticker" [off to the right]says that fall will be here in 8 days,but I have news for you...fall started thurs. evening.This is the only time of year the sun slants enough to hit me in the face when I'm sitting on the couch.Also the poison oak trees are losing their leaves already.That's the only tree I hate...they're the last to leaf out in the spring,the first to drop their leaves in the fall,and grow like weeds. Every year,when I bring my plants in from outside,I have to rip saplings out of them.Thurs.also was the day I started bringing the plants in.I do one or two a day,because you really have to prep the plants to come back inside,including checking them carefully for passengers from the great outdoors.Can you see me running around after a skink again??Or have it come off the huge spathiphylum on my side of the bed?? OMG,that's heart attack waiting to happen! Our big bedroom window is home to a huge spider plant...so huge,I had to make babies off of it,and give it to Boo for her apt.I have a baby that already has runners with seed pods on it.....and when it throws it seeds it'll be all over us So,today I have to go give that plant a clipping,I don't want to have to clean up all those lil seeds.

An update....the fallout from my"politics' blog entry has yet to end.Of Course I read the e-mails.So,I'll say this......We can all disagree on the Sarah Palin issue. I stayed home with my children,because that was the right thing to do,for me and for Steve,and for our children.Not for the family down the street,or the milkman,or the mayor.For US. Yes,I am aware of the sacrifices I made,yes,sometimes it hurt like hell,but *I* am the Mama,and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I am the LAST PERSON on the face of the earth to judge someone for doing what THEY think is right.For me,personally,I could not live with the thought of someone else raising my children.They were my sweet babies,they came first,and I wasn't going to leave them with a stranger.It wasn't going to happen. Steve wholeheartedly supported that decision,but make no mistake...it was my decision to make,and I own the consequences.No one else. A lot of women can't afford to stay home with their babies,and some women weren't built to do it.My decision is a judgement on ME,not on other women who may choose differently.My loopies and I were discussing this......the ramifications of my stepping out of the "out of the house" workforce for so long have been huge,and painful for me.And perfectly correct for my crew.BUT....if I had gone against my gut instinct.....what would my life be like now? What kind of people would my children be? Who would have been there for my Mother when she was dying? And Steve...Steve is my rock and my safe place. Would we still be married,or have such a deep,fantastic relationship? I lost a lot,but gained more than I can ever say.What I gained,I can't put it in the bank,but I can carry it around in my heart,and examine it on the days where I just want to sit down and cry. It keeps me warm at night,and lifts me up when I need lifting up. And I think what I gained,gave me the ability to give that all back.It made me a better me.How was THAT for an answer? I won't be judging her.I don't think I'll be voting for her,but I won't be judging her either.

4 comments:

Shirla said...

Here in Richmond, VA it feels like it's July. The temps have been in the 90's Saturday and today (Sunday) I want to skip fall and move right into winter. ;)

Gail said...

Shirla,I couldn't believe it...weather pulse said we hit 90º today,but with the humidity,it felt like 97º!!! YUK !

tech2tech2day said...

Gail,all I said was that I agreed that women should stay home with their childen.I agreed with you.Why is that painful for you?
Regards,
Dean

Gail said...

Dean.We do not agree.I believe that there are 2 people present at conception.Those 2 people should care for the child[ren] they create.In a marriage,often one partner makes more money than the other.That is the case in my marriage.I wanted to stay home with my whole heart,and I felt lucky to be at home.I still feel that way.So I own that decision,and all the repercussions from it.Sometimes both incomes are necessary,and there is no choice to made.Also,there are people who,for whatever reason,would be better parents out of the home than in it. Unless you are one of the 2 people present at the conception of a child,you don't have enough facts to judge the rightness or wrongness of the decisions being made.And,to be judged by someone,on the best of days,is painful.On the worst of days,it is soul destroying.And that judgement,Dean? It goes both ways.You are satisfied because I did what your culture tells you I should have done. Others think the exact opposite of you,and are not shy about saying so,family and friends alike feel very free,to your face or behind your back,to insinuate that you are substandard for having been a stay at home Mom.And,being judged as stupid [you know what my I.Q is Dean,do *you* think I'm stupid? ] is painful.Old-fashioned,I've been called that,and I am.So I can live with that.But to have your mental faculties questioned because you stayed home,that hurts.That's all I have to say about that.