~“The Blog That Watches Back”~

Monday, March 30

It Was! The third time WAS the charm!

Tonight we go to the credit union that will be holding our mortgage, to open accounts to fund this shindig, and we meet with the r.e agent..........at our new home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to sign more paperwork, write more checks, and agree on a time for the home inspection. We're on the road, the offer was accepted ! YAY TEAM GAIL!!!!!!!!!!!! Steve and I keep calling each other and reminding each other to breathe :o) I almost died before, I couldn't find my social security card ANYWHERE !! [it was in my wallet. Hush, be kind :) I haven't needed it since I got this job, and forgot to file it when I was done with it.]

So on to the next stage. PLEASE PLEASE home inspector don't find anything wrong with the Love Shack!! We have ten days to git er done,we'll see if we can't do it saturday, so we can be there. Evidently, our home falls in between the aunt of one of Steves co-workers, and the local fire chief, good to know :O) The locals up there are telling us a lot of stuff, including.....remember, I told you we had been concentrating on a certain area? Well, evidently, that was not a "good" area, but we lucked into a "very good" area :o) I guess I'll find out for myself when I get to know my way around. There's a huge park at one end of the delevopment we're moving to, but the web directions to get to my new library, Rube Goldberg could have written them. I think it'll be a while before I find it ;o) OMG! BREATHE!!

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Saturday, March 28

Maybe the third times' the charm......

I'm typing up this bloggie this afternoon, because we won't be here this evening. We're going to see a house for a second time, and make an offer on it. It was very odd.......Steve and I had this idea of the area we were going to look in.The house is on the other side of the area we concentrated on, in an area neither one of us knows. Steve has GPS in his head,-he is never lost, but "temporarily happily sidetracked", while I could not be a more polar opposite. I do NOT enjoy being lost. Lost with Steve, relax and enjoy. Lost on my own, not so much.
The house is lovely. Smaller than we envisioned, [and are you ready? In a development...exactly where we did NOT see ourselves] but exactly right and in excellent condition, the roof aside,...but all you can do about the roof is sign a check, that's not really Steve and Gail do-it-themselves. The r.e agent felt something a bit more esoteric. We were standing in the foyer, after viewing the property, and the she says, yeah this would be a good fit for you,.....it's kinda funky. Oh, yup :o) I'll have to cook on an electric stove for a while, but if that's the worst I can say about the place, all is good. The whole place needs paint, we are not "vanilla white" walls kinda people, but I can always blog before and after pics of the projects we take on, an on-line house diary ! It's very hard to get excited about a home we may not even have our offer accepted on. So,instead of boring our families about it, I came to whisper about it to you :o) One plus about having waited this long, I can dig up my favorite bedding plants, and the lilac bush the kids gave me, and take them with me when I go.
And here, something that just struck my funny bone so hard! I subscribe to "Blogthings",and they e-mail you quizzes you can put on your website, blog,ect. I find them to be so bad, in a campy way, they are good [like the one I have on this blog on the right, check out that pic, hehehe]
So, here's the quiz:

I saw the title of the quiz and laughed right out loud,OMG,what INTERNAL ORGAN am I??? WHO would think about something like that? And why? So I took the quiz, thinking "oh please don't let me be the bladder.Or the intestines,PLEASE don't let me be the intestines !!" And this was my result:

You Are The Brain

You're the type of person who's always on, always churning.

You are alert and quick to react.

You like to stay busy.

You are responsible but also demanding.

You take up a lot of energy.

You are someone of deep mystery. There's a lot below the surface that's hard to figure out.

The only thing I think is true is that I'm always on, but that's the insomnia talkin'. I don't think I'm deep,mysterious or hard to figure out, unless you're trying to reconcile my checking account balance online to the balance in my checkbook,...woo-boy, all bets are off there. I think if I have time later,I'll go back,take the quiz again, and lie my ass off, to see what happens.

Keep em crossed !! But don't hurt yourselves, we've been down this road before :/

March 28th:
-Public Sleeping Day

~How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? - Satchel Paige~

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Wednesday, March 25

Chase and Chimps

I'm gonna blog about a discussion I had with my credit card company. I was composing it in my mind...... and then read my e-mail. I feel like I need to clear the air a bit, concerning yesterdays bloggie. If you go read it, you will see at NO point am I insulting or rude when referring to people who have moved to my area from NYC. They were called "transplants" when I was a teen, and it stuck. I do not see that term as derogatory or mean spirited, just literal. Also, I have nothing personal against ANY transplant, whether they are known to me or not. I believe I said that some transplants have enriched my life far more than I could ever hope to enrich theirs, and I meant it. The friendships I have made over the years, the support and caring when the going got tough, Hell, ......aside from Steve and my kids, the greatest gift that was ever given to me personally....my passion for, and the education to play my cello, came from a transplant who is a friend to this day.
I did not "indict" a whole group of people. *I* spoke from my heart about what happened to me.....which is one of those pesky things people DO in a blog. I am sorry if anyone was hurt by that entry. I meant what I said, I HATE having to leave my birthplace. I DO have choices...we could continue to rent from an unscrupulous, lying, cheating, sociopathic landlord, and live right ON the NYS Thruway, and I could go slowly mad from the noise. Or, we can buy our own home. We chose the latter.
The SECOND we buy our Love Shack, you will HEAR my keyboard before you see the blog entry! I'm upset that I have to leave my home to get my hearts fondest material desire,.....our Love Shack..........but nothing is perfect.

And now, what-was-in-my-head-when-I-sat-down-but-then-I-got-sidetracked-by-e-mail........

Oh, I am so PISSED! Steam coming out my ears and all!!! I just got off the phone with Chase, as in Chase credit card. I was a WAMU customer, and Chase bought WAMU, and all their credit card accounts, hence my being a Chase customer now.
I do not carry a balance on my C.C. I use the c.c like a debit card, and pay it in full every month. I've never paid any interest on my card. So, I get my first billing statement from Chase, and want to see the APR I've been assigned by them.......please sit down, you might hurt yourself.........they want to charge me a 24.24% APR !!! ME! I thought that was a mistake, I mean, they must have had millions of accounts to service when they bought WAMU, right? So I made:

Mistake 1: Call Chase
"Thank You for calling Chase, my name is Ignorant, how may I not help you today?"
"Hi, I am a new Chase customer, and I believe there has been an error made in my account. I just received my first statement, and it says 24.24% APR!
"Yes, that's your APR, and isn't that Purdy! "
"OK, I need a lower APR"
"There is no lower APR available to you right now, you can call back in 6 months and ask again! [ I SWEAR I heard Tumble Bees, a Pogo word game, [and one of my favorites]in the backround,but this dame doesn't speak-a de eeengleeeesh well enough to play that game]
"Excuse me, this APR is simply too high, and I would like to know what steps I need to take to lower it."
" You can't, we decided that, and we don't have a lower APR for you. Where's my tunafish sandwich, I know it's here somewhere. Oh, not you, my sandwich. I have notheeeeeng for you."

Mistake 2: Your Supervisor

"I'd like to speak to your supervisor, Thank You."
-12 minutes, and a missed call from Steve later-

"Thank You for calling Chase, my name is Curious George, WHY would you waste you time calling us? That's your APR, and we don't have any others for you, no other numbers at this time I mean, yes, that's what I mean" [ @@ ]
"I do not understand...we are in the process of buying a home. I KNOW my credit history, and I KNOW my FICO, and they do NOT support this interest rate, I need a much lower rate"
"Well, when Chase took your account, we did you a favor. We Know you have a good credit history, because if you didn't, we would have cancelled your account when we bought you from WAMU. [@@ ] But we still can't give you a better APR, you can call back in 6 months" [sounds like the Crazy 8 Ball]
"Would you please explain how Chase arrived at the APR assigned to my account then, because I'm sure there's been a mistake made"
"We know things, and use those thing to decide these things. We don't make mistakes, the computer does it all" [ @@ ] I can't tell you why, but I CAN send you a letter. Would you like a letter? Because *I* can send you a letter !"
"The APR for this account is unacceptable to me, and I need some assistance in adjusting the APR. I understand if you can't help me, I'll need to speak to

Mistake the 3rd: YOUR supervisor
-17 minutes and 2 chocolate covered cherries later-

"I'd like to speak with your supervisor please"
"Thank you for calling Chase, the sixth of the lower bowels of Hell, this is Maria, head of C.S. We cannot offer you a lower APR. We here at Chase have a negative credit business...in other words, you have to prove to us you are credit worthy. That is a process."
"Aren't my FICO and credit history sufficient enough to prove that I'm credit worthy?"
"Not necessarily. We do see your Fico, but that's not all we go by, we have high standards, and we use THEM. And computers, they tell us what APR to give you, we dont do anthing. Oh, and we likes to roll 'de dice too, but you didn't hear that from me."
" OK, can you tell me what I need to do to meet Chases criterion for a lower APR?
" That is proprietary business information,we cannot divulge that to the consumer! [!!!! @@ !!!! ]
"So how would I go about getting a lower APR?"
"Oh,you can call back any time. If we're not rolling 'de dice."
"Why would I do that if I didn't know I could actually get a lower rate? How can I get this rate lowered?"
" I can't tell you that, it's........
" I know, Proprietary business info, yeah, I dig that. When should I call back?"
"Oh, you can call anytime, but that's no guarantee that you'll get a lower APR, or that we will listen, or indeed that we would even have a human here to answer the phones. Sometimes just for kicks we let trained chimps answer the phones. Bet you can't tell the difference! "

"I'll bet you're right."

My phone says I wasted 37 minutes yapping at Chase. Or a chimp, I'm still not sure which.

March 26th:
-Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

~There ought to be a better way to start the day than by getting up in the morning.~

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Tuesday, March 24


I got this today from my friend Gina, TYVM hon! Very interesting and G-rated:


So why is Gail so quiet, you might ask? WHAT could she be thinking, that would make her not blog? Gail is kinda blue. Well, make that very blue.

[NOTE: This is generally how I feel. I am not indicting all NYC people who have moved here. Over all, the transplants I know have probably enriched my life more than I was able to enrich theirs. This is how I feel, in general terms, in light of house hunting and not being able to stay in my home town.]

You know we are in the process of finding a home to buy. And the going is pretty damn tough. I spoke with one of the women I work with today, she is in the same boat I am. She and her hubby made an offer on a house, and a couple from NYC offered 20,000 more....10,000 over the asking price. My friend was really upset,- not only is she convinced that THAT was "her" house, but she's worried now,....with the tax break for first time home buyers, NYC'ers are coming out of the woodwork in my area, igniting a storm that started back in the 70's. She and her hubby JUST discovered what Steve and I have known for years....our community belongs to NYC now, there's no place for the locals here. And CERTAINLY no housing that locals can afford.
Steve and I are both multi-generational locals. We live in a county 45 minutes north of NYC. Our Dads and GrandDads lived in the same county they worked in. And so do we,...Steve and I both work in the county we live in.
In the mid 70's or so, we started getting transplants......people moving here from NYC. Which, technically wouldn't have been a problem. Except for 2 things. First, the NYC crowd, having been earning higher wages than us yokels, were out bidding locals on homes, and creating a market for McMansions...homes that are stupid expensive, and built with city people in mind. NO housing was being created for us yokels. There are extremely few jobs here that would support buying a half million dollar and up McMansion....unless you are a commuter. Second, while they moved here, they didn't Work here. They still commuted into the city or New Jersey. Creating a HUGE gap between the locals and the amenities they could give their children, and the city people, with those bigger, city-type salaries. Feel bad cause you don't get to see your kid a lot? Buy em a ton of clothes and a car, and forget the discipline. THAT's the type of stuff Steve and I started seeing when we graduated high school in this town.

As the years rolled by, Steve and I had our kids, in the same area we grew up and work in. And THEN the rift became glaringly apparent. Steve and I were the Mom and Dad that were always there, the city parents had to "work" [as if that wasn't what WE were doing,we were looked on as stupid for earning less than those absentee parents] and the money gap.....OMG, KIDS driving BRAND new cars, .........cars we could not afford and wouldn't buy even if we could.......and getting into trouble in those cars. While Mom and Dad worked. European vacations. Designer clothes. Music lessons in NYC, tennis lessons from a pro, the best of the best for those kids [read: the most expensive material things] the list is endless. We were shocked sometimes, at the material things these kids would have,...with no parental guidance at all. For a small community, the divide between the haves and have nots was terrible. The "haves" thought the solution to everything was to throw money at it. And the paradigm shifted, and changed our community forever.

We were discussing this at the gym I used to go to, and the owner,.....a NYC cop, married to a NYC cop, and both live, guess where, right here! Asked me, do all the locals think of us like that? And I was ashamed. I apologized to her......not for my opinion, because I have lived/ am living it and it is valid, but because I hurt the owner, whom I consider to be a friend. I told her, it's very hard,..............to see your community torn in 2, and become the bedroom of NYC. It's hard to grow up expecting to live a certain way in "your" town, and to have it ripped away by people with money, but no sense of what they were destroying. Who claimed to want "a better life, a country life, a yard for the kids" so they bought them out from under the locals.....then complained that there was nothing for the kids to do! They took the things we felt had value, claiming they wanted them, and then totally changed them or got rid of them altogether.

And on to today. Us stupid yokels can't buy a home in our home town, because evidently NYC owns our towns, and is busy buying what they haven't bought already. Dig THIS......the MTA [Metropolitan Transit Authority].....responsible for mass transit in the city and environs....wants to tax OUR county, to keep costs down for............COMMUTERS ! We're supposed to pay a tax to keep commuter costs down,- even as we have no use for mass transit, as we work and live in our community.Another nail in our communities' coffin.

The commuters have never paid the true cost for what they've done here. Maybe if they actually started working in the county they live in, and put a little of the whining angst towards getting higher wages and more jobs in their new hometown, things would be different.

I try to remember, no matter how flat, a pancake always has 2 sides. I try to put myself in the shoes of the commuters. Who maybe wanted something better for their kids, like we all do. I wonder, if anywhere along the line,*I* made others pay for my choices, as the commuters have. And I wonder if they know what they did. And if they're sorry. And, if they had it to do over again, would either live and work in the same community, or stay in the city, and leave the yokels be.
This, my blog, is really the only place I can say how I feel about leaving my home. I know this area like the back of my hand, I remember it "back when". At my age, I'm gonna have to learn the backroads of a new place. And I HATE that. I HATE having to move from the town I was born in, and I HATE losing the sense of history and continuity, and contentment I feel here. I hate moving away from the schools we and our kids attended, and the cemetaries where my ancestors are buried. I am a small town person. It seems that every third person I care about here is a city transplant. And I care about those transplants, I don't blame them for what has happened here. I just wish with all my heart that this story could have a different ending. I love Steve and the kids, and we will make a great home no matter where we go. In my Wildest dreams, I NEVER thought it would be too much to ask to be able to buy our own home, in our home town.

March 24th

-National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day [my favorite! ]

~A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.~

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Friday, March 20

Hope Springs Eternal

If you've been here a lil while, you know I am an avid reader. A rabid reader. An "I cannot remember a day where I didn't pick up a book" kinda gal. And I love the flavor of words. But I DO have One. Favorite. Word. One that erases winter, and gives me hope for spring. It lifts me up, and makes me smile to say it.
I remember reading the word before we moved here, so that is more than 19 years ago. In a work by a british novelist....the kind where you're trying to figure out the lingo as you unravel the story. When I looked Furze up, it spoke of winter wheat, and gorse. But the FLAVOR of the word.....how the author used it........furze is the VERY first greening of spring. In my area,we have native bushes, they grow like weeds. These bushes are ALWAYS the first sign of spring...as you look out the window,day after winter day,eventually you realize the bushes have the faintest nimbus of green around them......you can't see individual leaves, just a green halo around the most protected bushes.....and you know spring has sprung, even if you get another snowstorm the next day. Well, I saw my first robin last week, almost a month early for me, and now I'm just waiting for furze. My whole family looks for it. I usually let Steve think he found it first. There you have it, Team Gails' Favorite Word. Start looking ! You southerners, stuff a sock in it already :O)

Hope springs eternal, tomorrow we go to see 2 more houses. Every one assures me, that they went thru the same thing we are going thru now. Out-bid, houses lost during escrow due to structural defects, radon, black mold, omg, the list is long. So I'll ask that you still keep em crossed,but maybe not as tightly as before,you've gotta be getting a cramp by now. Hehehe,we have the r.e agent, the r.e lawyer, 2 house inspectors, and all our financing lined up, and no house to use them on!

March 20:
-Vernal Equinox YAY YAY !!!!!

~"People never grow up, they just learn how to act in public."

-Bryan White ~

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Tuesday, March 17

Nice try :/

Just so you know, someone offered more than we could on the house, so it's back to the drawing board. Steve and I aren't persnickety, and I figured we'd be moving already. My loopies assure me,they looked at a LOT of houses before they found one.I just want this to be over, yanno?

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Sunday, March 15

Oops,we did it again!

Well,we just got home from making an offer on a house! We saw 2 yesterday. One was small, but in pretty good shape.The second one was pretty big, but needs a lot of work done...and we can do most of it. We choose the second house, we liked the lot better, among other things. We'll have to contract out the windows, and I'll go see how hard driveway repair is, but we can do everything else.The roof will need to be done in 8-10 years, so we can save for that. You should SEE the kitchen,....someone WALLPAPERED the kitchen !! I don't know about you, but my kitchen is a working kitchen, and the walls need to be washed. Wallpaper!! I'm not talking about a decorative border, but floor to ceiling wallpaper! Steve and I are pretty psyched, the waiting for the signback,.....well, it bites, but whatcha gonna do?

A few months ago, I told you I bought a new bridge for my cello,.....the current one has what looks like a hairline crack in it, and the A string is biting right down into it and chipping it. Yesterday I decided to put the new bridge on. OMG,it's easily an inch taller than my old bridge, [I thought I'd ordered a "medium" bridge...you can select high, medium or low, and then customize to suit yourself if necessary] and I HATE the action of it. I'm gonna scribe the arc of my old bridge on it and take it down a bit. I don't have the receipt, so the worst that can happen is that I'll have to buy another bridge, but the best that can happen is that I won't screw it up too badly :X If I hear ANY laughing I will SMACK you.

I wanted to take this opportunity to warn you about a website.......it's called Bebo. It fashions itself as AOL's answer to facebook/myspace . If are an aol member, or aim user, your profile has or will be migrated to Bebo. I tell you, go delete your profile. Do it fast and totally, don't just delete your info and leave your username there. It seems that Bebo can't even SPELL "Security", let alone invoke it. I had heard a lot of complaints, and not ONE positive about Bebo. But I thought, WTH, give it a chance, right? I don't want to lose the aol profile that I've had since 1998! WRONG!!!!! This website wants your aol username and password.....as if you were signing in to your aol account. Right off the bat, that raised my security hackles. In a very bad way.This roll out should have been done by aol, with a secure link to your profile, in which you could assign a different password to your Bebo account. Internet 101 says, a different password for EVERY website you visit. Giving your aol password out to a secondary site, even ONCE, is nasty, and not secure. But OK, AOL approved this site, right? I thought, I'll go change that password manually, and forged ahead.

I am fishiewoo where ever I go. AOL is no different. Evidently Bebo thought differently. At my first sign on to Bebo, all MY info and pictures were there, but the username was "fishiewoo70"...NOT ME. The second time? My name, all of my pics, and NONE of my info. I signed in 3 times in total, and had shit to delete, 3 times. I was STUNNED at the lack of security. I am telling you, you need to git in there, and get your stuff out. Can you imagine, if some jerk was able to sign into someone elses Bebo, the havoc they could create? AOL users could lose their accounts, or at the VERY least, have them suspended, due to stuff OTHER PEOPLE put on their Bebo profile! So...delete ALL your info first. log out, sign back in, and make SURE all your info is gone,then delete the bebo user account. There's your PSA for the day.

March 16th:
-Everything You Do Is Right Day

~Lactomangulation: Manhandling the 'open here' spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.~

[don't ask why I identify with this :X]

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Friday, March 13

They'd better wear a cup.

Thank God it's Friday! [hey, not blogging on Wednesday is one way of getting out of that Wordless Wednesday gig] [but here's one pic Boo sent me,I LOVES me my Meatloaf [of the musical variety for those of you not familiar, but dayum,WHERE have you been if you don't know Meatloaf? WAIT! I don't want to know.Trust me, this is clever:]

We've had a busy week here. Boo came home for a few days, she was really sick, but is getting better now and went back to her place. It was nice to have her around, I didn't feel so out-manned, having another woman around to kick some shins when it was necessary. Work is, well, work.

Remember I told you, I get along with everybody at work, and I'm very thankful for that. Some people HATE each other, and one rivalry in particular goes back over 20 years. Well, one of the people I work with, I believe she is either mentally ill or mentally unstable. Up til this week, I never had a problem with her.This week, she tried to report me to management....for TALKING ! I'm not kidding, some people can't work and talk [she is one of those]and if she can't hear what is being said or participate in the conversation, you are not supposed to talk. So, I ignored that salvo.[and nothing was said to me, so miss mental can kiss my ass. *I* am a Mom,- I can work, talk, cook dinner, sew, water plants, balance my checkbook rather badly and vacuum all at the same time. OK, maybe not vacuum, I do have issues with that ]

Today, she was working directly behind me. A lovely young woman, all of 19, was working in front of me. There are a few kids there, and I associate them with my kids. I was talking to that young woman in front of me....and the woman behind me started swearing. She's done this so that I could hear it before too, but I ignored it. Well, she used the words bitch, son of a bitch, whore, and cunt....yes,THAT word.... [and I just had to teach my spell check that, and it is gagging at me] in a long rambling almost-under-her-breath diatribe. In a creepy horror movie type of way. Which I would have ignored again..........until I realized, with the work we were doing, the young woman across from me would be in my seat later in the morning. Now, don't get me wrong, Boo has almost as much balls as I do, and she doesn't NEED me to protect her....but if ANYONE spoke like that to my daughter and *I* heard it, I would lay them out. Right then and there. I sure as hell wasn't letting miss mental speak like that where the young woman could hear it, if I could help it. I got the 2 floor supervisors in the office and explained, this has happened to me before,but I ignored it. It made my skin crawl and made me very uncomfortable, because of the manner in which the words were delievered, like some freakin evil chant. Also, I feel like a hypocrite even telling you about it, because I have ignored previous instances of this behavior, and I happen to curse like a sailor in private,

[Tony had today off. When I got home I told him what happened, and he said "But Ma, you don't swear AT people, your swearing is joyful and makes people laugh." And he's right, I do have the joy of the swear in me. I had to LOL at that, "Hey Tony, what does your Ma like to do? Oh, she loves music and gardening and reading and puters, oh and she's VERY good at swearing,just ask her :X ]

But I can't BEAR the thought of [the young woman] hearing those words out of miss mentals' mouth, and it really needs to stop right now. THAT is when I found out that miss mental has a track record, and EVERYONE there has complained about it. So WHY THE HELL is she still there? It's not like she does great work, I had to go redo a whole wire set she screwed up last week. A lot was explained to me, she does that to everyone, blah-blah-blah,...well, do NOT let her do this in front of the young women, OK?

The second I left the office, the supervisor went to the owner, who called miss mental in and evidently ruined her day. At least, when she walked by me, I had to feel around on my back to see if there were any knives sticking out of me, but I will be DAMNED if someone is gonna talk like that in front of a kid. So the rest of the day was spent sitting in between miss mental and the owner, who just happened to come out to play with a machine, but he was trying to catch miss mental. You can imagine how comfortable and wholesome that work environment was today.

Steve isn't having the joy of the job lately either, my heart goes out to him. One of the guys called out 2 weeks ago, with a hurt back. Workmans comp, the whole shimole. Steve got word today the guy will be out at least 2 or 3 more weeks. I really do understand about protecting peoples jobs, but I am managements' wife too. Guess who is covering 98% of the hours of the missing employee? Yup, my honey. I keep trying to remember, if it were Steve who was injured, I would want his job to be there when he returned. But EVERY manger Steve ever had, when HE was coming up the ranks, would have made his staff cover all the hours, they wouldn't sully their hands with extra hours. Steve has one guy doing one night, and he is staying the rest. And to be honest, I don't think the staff appreciates Steve. If THEY ever had a manager with a coke spoon stuck up his nose, or another so busy with his wife and daughters and mistress that he couldn't be bothered to let guys go home before a blizzard hit, or one that locked himself in his office to talk boy scout business and sports collectibles on the phone every day, and let Steve do the managing without the pay or the perks, they might appreciate what they have a lil better.
Aren't we just a ray of sunshine today?? Aren't you SO glad you stopped in? BUT WAIT........there's MORE! We are going to see 2 homes tomorrow evening. I wonder how close to the listing description THEY will be. Tony won't even go with us, I think he'd prefer movies and video games at home to "Laughin' at the Lies", the popular real estate show we seem to be starring in. If the owners lied in the listing details, and they are present at the showing, they'd better be wearing a cup,that's all I can say.

March 14 & 15:
14: National Potato Chip Day
15: Buzzard's Day and Everything You Think Is Wrong Day

~The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has determined that the maximum safe load capacity on my butt is two persons at a time, unless I install handrails or safety straps. Since you have arrived sixth in line to ride my ass today, please take a number and WAIT YOUR TURN!~

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Monday, March 9

---------->Jumping the Shark<------------

Well,we're in a lil better frame of mind than Saturday. We shouldn't be surprized anymore, at the lies people tell themselves and their real estate agents. For the LIFE of me, I don't understand how you can "overlook" a huge hole in the foundation of a house, missing trim on all upstairs rooms and around the doors [it looked like it had been ripped down, not removed for reno or anything] and a missing kitchen floor, and call it renovated and charming! It got to the point where our R.E agent said "Let's get out of here"...the R.E Agent! THAT is bad. But,we're still looking.

However important house hunting is to us, the world obviously kept spinnin' while we were occupied.This link was posted to my kf board: [G-rated]


Hehehe, kitten of the Sea tuna, yum :X It seems no immoral act is too low for PETA to perform to seek fame, butTHIS act, the sea kittens campaign, is just plain stupid. I love how they throw paint on rich womens' coats...but I have never heard of those assholes attacking a biker gang for wearing leather. So much for their high ideals. I am an omnivore, and have nothing but respect for people who chose any one of the number of different ways to be vegan. I have never had someone IRL belittle me for my steak eatin' ways. PETA is just disgusting.People Eating Tasty Animals :O) I am never sure whether to be offended by the simple mindedness of PETA, or laugh at them.So I'll laugh at them.

Ah, 2 other ads that were too too rich to be ignored! The first, from our friends at Dean and Deluca. I don't need to tell you the state of the economy, but I think maybe someone ought to clue Dean&Deluca in.


You didn't read that wrong. 8 DOLLARS for a pound of pasta! For that price, it's better be made by golden elves, and delivered by a Chippendales dancer on horseback :X 8 bucks! Do we LOOK that stupid? What the hell is in the water or flour they used?

Oh,and HERE is the kicker. I have seen this before, but this is the first time it was been infomercialed that I have seen. Sandpaper. Dressed in a pretty pink backing. So you can SAND yourself to remove hair.Yup, it's 400-600 grit sandpaper, and you pay 20$ [including shipping] for about eighty cents of sandpaper. But it IS pink !!


This advertizer says it's time to do away with old fashioned methods of hair removal...but sandpaper was very popular during WWII for just that purpose, so doesn't that make this product old fashioned? The manufacturer also says the papers have "superfine crystals" that rub away the hair. HEllooooooooo, 400-600 grit sandpaper has superfine.....SAND on it! They do EVERYTHING they can to avoid coming out and saying the word "sandpaper" I wish I coulda been a fly on the wall at the meeting there they hashed out the words you could and could not use to advertize this stuff [Ah,HELL no Ralph,we can't say sandpaper,the lil ladies won't buy it! How about "all natural crystals! And GOTTA make it pink,the ladies won't buy it if we don't purdy it up!] I think Lowes and Home Depot are missing the boat, ...they could have a hair removal section,...move some sandpaper over to lawn and garden, wrap it in pink paper, and rake in the dough.

I guess all 3 of these things have something in common for me...they all jumped the shark. Well for me,PETA has alway jumped the shark, I find them to be invalid. But, for D and D, to advertize 8 dollar a pound pasta, and for another company to try and convince women sandpaper really isn't sandpaper but a great new invention, businesses have hit an all time low in underestimating the intelligence of their customers. It wouldn't be so bad if the commercials were funny:


March 9th:
-Get over it Day
-Napping Day [first Monday after D.S.T }

~Fur is more actively protested than leather 'cause its easier to harrass rich women than biker gangs.~

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Saturday, March 7

Truth in advertizing

Well,the house we saw today....OMG.Listed as a colonial in great shape,we were really psyched.Until we walked up the front porch,and it was falling apart.Ditto the reast of the house,including a huge hole in the foundation.If YOU are selling a house,don't you at least put a good face on it? We're just pretty bummed,and tired tonight. Where's our Love Shack? I dunno. We had high hopes for that one. I had stuff to talk about today,including a commercial for a product...that ifd women aren't sub standard enough.....encourages us to use SANDPAPER to shave our legs.No shit, we supposed to sandaper ourselves. I'll bloggie tomorow. Looks like Steve needs a shoulder,and I need his.

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Tuesday, March 3

This is what Stupid means to me.

Gail is making dinner. Roast Chicken for Steve, his favorite meal, how nice! Gail is also making chicken stock, with some chicken parts from the freezer. Taking parts out of the pot, one starts to fall back in. Being splashed with hot stock will HURT, what does Gail do?

B) Duck
C) Grabs the chicken with her bare hand, and puts it in the bowl range-side.

Gail checks the roaster chicken in the oven. She has an oven rack that is possessed, it slides out all by itself. This rack starts to slide out while Gail is checking the chicken for doneness. What does Gail do?

B) Use the potholder in her right hand to stop the rack.
C) Use her bare left hand to stop the rack, cause she is so leftie.

Gail is making salad to go with dinner. She Thinks she has some baby greens to use, but can't remember if she ate them or not. What occurs when Gail looks for the greens?

A)She finds em, damn straight!
B) She does not find the greens, dayum!
C) Gail not only does NOT find the greens,.....but the phone rings, and when she rears her head in fright [there is a lull in the music, and the house is VERY quiet] she slams her head into the bin on the door, that awful awful bin, and discovers the joys of cleaning strawberry jam off the grate on the bottom of the fridge, her pretty blue boots, and apparently her face.

Isn't that lovely? Isn't that DIVINE? All in a one and a half hour time frame.True talent. Some days, it just doesn't pay to be nice. But the pretty pink sneakers I ordered will help ameliorate some of the damage. As long as I remember to keep them away from that damned fridge.

March 5th:
-National Multiple Personalities day

~Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.~

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Monday, March 2

Detective Gail [or: How Mr Smarty Pants got his comeuppance]

A great day, a Snow day! Gotta love them. I spent the day in my pajammies, which is always a plus. Playing everything from Ruby to Pogo, and even finished the laundry! Your eyes don't deceive you, DONE! Go buy a lottery ticket. AND.... I got the goods on Steve.That's right.Mr Smarty Pants is always claiming that HE always puts his shaving cream away, he doesn't know what I'm talking bout, Mr Innocent would NEVER leave anything out. My left ass cheek. Plus, he says it with that damn grin on his face so I forget what I was pissed about. SO...I got proof this morning:

[yes, I know, no flowers in the vases, so don't look at em, Steves' the one in the hot seat, not me!]

There's no denying THAT,...notice how I got the clock in there, he can't claim I took the pic before he went to work! Hehehe, don't mess with me! I'll have to think of a suitable fee for this, that's always fun.

My Halloween Cactus is bursting out in blooms again! You KNOW spring is around the corner when the plants can't help but bust a move, it really lifts my spirits. If you have an indoor jungle, you know what I mean,- all of a sudden all the plants need a lot more water, and all that new growth!!! Look at the ticker to the right......that's right,we spring those clocks ahead THIS WEEKEND ! YAY YAY!

Also spent some time online looking around, LOOK at this! A video from Fail [G-rated] I never thought about weathermen having to watch what color tie they wear! You're looking for "Tie Color Fail":


-3rd: I Want You To Be Happy Day
-4th: Holy Experiment Day

~Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~ -Henry Kissinger

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