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I discovered something un-freakin-beLIEVEABLE about myself yesterday.Are you ready for this??.......I do not like to shop. Nope,I don't [unless it's for something specific,on Ebay,like a bow] I am a mega shopper,I'll wait until I need more than a few things,go get em,and don't go back until next time I need more than a few things.[This is NOT good for Steve,who forgets to look at the "Big Picture".One big clothes bill instead of a bajillion little bills throughout the year. Hey,I did him a FAVOR! A book keeping favor!! And did I get Thanked for that? Noooooooooooooo !!] This is a distinct departure from my younger self. Shoes !!! I could shoe shop til the cows came home. Now,I don't like it!! And I bloody well FORGOT to hit the shoe dept yesterday. I know!! I damn near fainted too !! Is this part of aging? Cause I do NOT LIKE that !! [I know forgetting the shoes was "CRS"...Can't Remember Shit...but it was surprizing just the same] O-M-G ! I have 5 pairs of shoes,and a pair of hiking boots,and that's it!! [Oh,and a pair of black heels,but Steve made me buy them,so they don't count] Oh, I am so ashamed!!! Now,don't get me wrong,I LOVE to purse shop.....and earring shop....oh,wait,I guess I'm still ok. Got worried there for a minute :o)
Oh! I got my official "Your boobs are fine for another year" letter from the radiologist.YAY! I talk to other women,and they get the mammo results right then and there,no waiting.But,we're talking my town here,so who are we kidding? I'm lucky the results aren't sent by carrier pigeon ;O)
And,as promised,...here are 3 off the beaten path holidays we can celebrate tomorrow...
Oct 1
Fire Pup Day
International Day of Older Persons
Balloons around the world
I'll carry a bouquet of Balloons,and celebrate being an Older Person....if you see balloons in the sky tomorrow,you'll know I got lost on my 4 minute commute to work :o)And Work.... Oh, it took a TERRIBLE turn. Today I was put at a station Right By an air compressor...a HUGE air compressor.It hurt my ears so bad I felt nauseous,that never happened to me before.So...Tony is gong to Walmart tonight,and he will look in the hunting or hardware sections for noise reduction or cancelling headphones.I hope I get camoflage color,THAT would be fun.Can you see it? I'd forget I have them on,leave for home,develop leadus footus around the corners,have a cop try to pull me over,...and not hear him.Hey....maybe you should look for me on the news @ 5 AND at 6 tomorrow :o) :o)
Tuesday, September 30
Sorry pt 2,a few questions answered
Update:
How Steve found out about it.Steve is a pretty peppy guy,but started feeling tired.All the time.Bone crushing tired,he knew something was wrong.So started the battery of tests.It was discovered that he had a very high white blood cell count.And,I told Steve about his tumor,not the Dr.We have papers signed at our dr's office,there's nothing about me they can't tell him,and there;s nothing about him they can't tell me.So one night,when Steve was on his way home from work,they called here,asked if I was Gail,and in a very matter-of-fact voice proceeded to tell me he had a brain tumor.You never forget phone calls like that,do you? I was making shake n bake chicken for dinner,and mashed potatoes and peas.After the call I tried to stir the peas and they wound up all over the floor,I had to switch to broccoli.Anything else? And,TYVM Lee,I meant what I said.
How Steve found out about it.Steve is a pretty peppy guy,but started feeling tired.All the time.Bone crushing tired,he knew something was wrong.So started the battery of tests.It was discovered that he had a very high white blood cell count.And,I told Steve about his tumor,not the Dr.We have papers signed at our dr's office,there's nothing about me they can't tell him,and there;s nothing about him they can't tell me.So one night,when Steve was on his way home from work,they called here,asked if I was Gail,and in a very matter-of-fact voice proceeded to tell me he had a brain tumor.You never forget phone calls like that,do you? I was making shake n bake chicken for dinner,and mashed potatoes and peas.After the call I tried to stir the peas and they wound up all over the floor,I had to switch to broccoli.Anything else? And,TYVM Lee,I meant what I said.
Monday, September 29
Sorry about that.
It appears that I dropped da bomb on at least three of you yesterday.I apologize. I came to blogging from another board,and from KF,where people know all about Steve.This is not a new diagnosis,although we kept it to ourselves for a few years,so we could wrap our heads around it.Steve told everyone in 2006.It never occurred to me that some of you didn't know,and how you would feel to have me so cavalierly toss that one out.It took us a loooong time to be cavalier,trust me on that [at least most the time].I'm not kidding,he's doing really well. There are days and then there are DAYS,but overall,he is a strong man. As long as the tumor doesn't get bigger,the surgeon will not operate,because "Brain Surgery is risky business" Oh,No Shit!! We had no idea!!! And,so far,it hasn't. So,Steve will go on the 10th for a how-de-doo with his endocrinologist,who will order blood work to determine how Steves chemical levels are.If THEY remain static,then the tumor has not grown,and all Steve will need are refills on his meds,and another appointment for 6 months later.If the results are not optimal,the endo will order an mri,to see what the lil son of a bitch is doing in there. PLEASE don't tell me you are crying,you are making ME cry!!!! OK ??? :O) But I deeply appreciate the kind words.OK,you can tell me if you're crying,but warn me,cause I Will cry,and I am not one of those pretty criers ;o) He has to work late tonight,so I figured I'd come explain a lil early.Sorry! And to one of you,thank-you very much for telling me what you are going thru.It help to know other people go thru the rough stuff,and come out the other side.
Sunday, September 28
Don't trust me :o)
Not too much to say today [I know,you're relieved :o)] I've been very thankful today,thinking about my life.No,not in a Pollyanna sense [most of you know me,and if you've ever heard me go off on a good bitchfest,you know I ain't 'Pollyanna :o)] It's hard,to watch your daughter struggle with the leaving of the bf to Japan for a year,and not be able to lift her up,or swoop in with a hug and some soup.BTDT when Steve and I were in college,and I'm thankful I don't have to go thru that ever again.To watch a son work a full time job and go to school for his masters,running all the time,wondering about his life.I don't think he's appreciate mama strolling in and spanking admin,oh,no I don't.Watching the other son struggle with the decision of what to do with his life,wanting to help steer him,not sure how to help.
I realize the things they're going thru are normal and part of being their age,but that doesn't make it any easier to sit on my hands,not try to mother them or try and solve their problems, and shut up.I don't think aging is living without deep passion and purpose,but the absence of the personnal struggle that marks your early 20,hell even your 30's.I am grateful to have the passion of youth,and the maturity to know how to handle it any enjoy it,instead of worrying about it. You reach a point where you accept who and what you are,and if you're lucky,you have people around you who accept who and what you are too.And I *am* lucky....except for the occasional eyeroll from the kids,I am accepted here,and in the places that matter to me. I'm always going to have 2 personal struggles [hey,they're personal for a reason :o)] BUT..I can approach them differently than I did 20 years ago.Or say Screw it.Up until very recently,I would look at people near and dear to me,going thru divorce,death,cancer,problems,and I'd think "Why not me,it's happening to everyone else?" and I'd start to worry,"what about if that happens to me?" and that constant worry will wreck your spirit.
Well,I've decided that,you can't pre-plan how to deal with personal disaster,and I stopped borrowing worry.It hit me like a sledgehammer and buckled my knees,when we discovered Steve has a brain tumor.Over the years,the drugs have kept it in check,and unless you count the worry, once he got used to the drugs,it didn't effect his quality of life,or ours.We are going to be the lucky ones,-we already are. He goes to the endo Oct 10th for the 6 month brain checkup extravaganza,I'll keep you in the loop :o)
Wow! So much for not having anything to say,huh?? I sit down,and either it's there or it's not.I didn't know this was there. Don't trust me when I start by telling you I don't have too much to say :o)
I realize the things they're going thru are normal and part of being their age,but that doesn't make it any easier to sit on my hands,not try to mother them or try and solve their problems, and shut up.I don't think aging is living without deep passion and purpose,but the absence of the personnal struggle that marks your early 20,hell even your 30's.I am grateful to have the passion of youth,and the maturity to know how to handle it any enjoy it,instead of worrying about it. You reach a point where you accept who and what you are,and if you're lucky,you have people around you who accept who and what you are too.And I *am* lucky....except for the occasional eyeroll from the kids,I am accepted here,and in the places that matter to me. I'm always going to have 2 personal struggles [hey,they're personal for a reason :o)] BUT..I can approach them differently than I did 20 years ago.Or say Screw it.Up until very recently,I would look at people near and dear to me,going thru divorce,death,cancer,problems,and I'd think "Why not me,it's happening to everyone else?" and I'd start to worry,"what about if that happens to me?" and that constant worry will wreck your spirit.
Well,I've decided that,you can't pre-plan how to deal with personal disaster,and I stopped borrowing worry.It hit me like a sledgehammer and buckled my knees,when we discovered Steve has a brain tumor.Over the years,the drugs have kept it in check,and unless you count the worry, once he got used to the drugs,it didn't effect his quality of life,or ours.We are going to be the lucky ones,-we already are. He goes to the endo Oct 10th for the 6 month brain checkup extravaganza,I'll keep you in the loop :o)
Wow! So much for not having anything to say,huh?? I sit down,and either it's there or it's not.I didn't know this was there. Don't trust me when I start by telling you I don't have too much to say :o)
Saturday, September 27
Inflatable Dolls
O.M.G. It's here.The bow I bought off of eBay. Did my homework,but how much can you know without actually handling it? I have never had a bow like this before,I have never PLAYED with a bow like this before. It fits my hand like it was made for me, when I got it out of the package I wound up standing there,just holding it. I have never in my life held a bow of this caliber.The close work is a little more difficult,fast playing between neighboring strings,but that will come in time,I appear to be afraid to over-tighten my little friend. It makes the cello SOUND better,it Rings more.I just told Steve,sorry,Babe,gotta quit so I can practice more. And,you know you have to break them in,until you have the rosin distributed evenly,you're gonna have a squeak here and there,and even the squeaks are endearing :o)
I put a quote that I liked on the bottom of my blog yesterday,about wrinkles,because I was following a train of thought. My train of thought left the station on a commercial.It was an Oil of Olay commercial,telling women how wonderful,how fabulous,how thin and gorgeous we could be,if only you used their products.Now,when I was a younger woman,I LOVED original Oil of Olay.The shape of the original glass bottle,the smell of the lotion,when I smell that it takes me right back to my 20's and having lil babies around.Then something happened,....they started making product after product,and then product lines targeted to your age. That commercial....it said,not surgical results, [naturally] ,but if *I* use their products,I can look like the 92 lb, airbrushed,anorexic anemic 29 yr old model they used for the commercial !! But the kick...they opened a medicine cabinet,and slowly populated it with the products I'd have to use to "look like that".At last count,it was thirteen. Thirteen bottles and tubes and vials with twisty special things inside of them,artistically arranged,I imagine,as I'm supposed to arrange them in MY medicine cabinet. I have just a few questions about that:
-Where would I put my toothbrush?
If I cram all that stuff in the medicine cabinet,I'll have to remove our toothbrushes and toothpaste.Am I supposed to bypass oral hygiene in favor of no wrinkles? Cause I do NOT LIKE poor oral hygiene.
-Where is Steve supposed to put his shaving gel?
This is one of the few things I have to harp on him about. It HAS a place in the medicine cabinet,but he leaves it out,so the can makes rings everywhere it sits. I do not LIKE that! Is this commercial actually a con,made by men,so they don't have to put their shave gel away anymore because there is no ROOM at the inn for it? Cause I do NOT LIKE cleaning shave gel can rings.
-When I use this stuff,and all my wrinkles go away....will I need to get in line at DMV and get a new picture license?
Cause I do NOT LIKE DMV.No,I don't.
-Does this cream promote weight loss?
Because,I notice all the women in the commercials need to gain weight.And,if the cream DOES promote weight loss,if I shoot enough of it at my asshat neighbor,will she disappear? Cause,I do NOT LIKE her,and I'd be willing to experiment in the interests of science. Also,...if *I* buy the product,can I donate some of my weight to the women in the commercials? We women have to stick together,I'd be happy to help.
-I noticed that you said,one of the items does 7 things,..but all 7 of those things sound suspiciously like "moisturize".
How many different ways can you say "moisturize"? Do you have a list? A Thesaurus? And do you really think *I* think your cream will have the same effect as an IRON on my FACE? Cause I do NOT LIKE the thought of an iron on my face.
-I notice that all the anti-aging,anti-wrinkle,anti-reality commercials are aimed at women.
Do men not age at the same rate? Do you feel they are not as gullible as women,so your advertising $$'s would be lost? Or do men NOT LIKE to be talked down to a like an inflatable doll? Because I do NOT LIKE to be talked down to like an inflatable doll. Not even a wrinkle-free inflatable doll.With big red lips and a hoochie-mama dress.
And,at the end of the day,how effective was all that advertizing? How much bang for their mega bucks did this company get? Well,for me...I noticed that I do NOT LIKE it. I'm using my beloved,original,won't-fight-wrinkles-or-anything-else Oil of Olay.If the wrinkles want me they can have me.If they can catch me. I'm warning them, I'm pretty damn fast for an old broad.And I have a wicked left hook.
September 28 is "Ask a Stupid Question" day! Have at it!!
I put a quote that I liked on the bottom of my blog yesterday,about wrinkles,because I was following a train of thought. My train of thought left the station on a commercial.It was an Oil of Olay commercial,telling women how wonderful,how fabulous,how thin and gorgeous we could be,if only you used their products.Now,when I was a younger woman,I LOVED original Oil of Olay.The shape of the original glass bottle,the smell of the lotion,when I smell that it takes me right back to my 20's and having lil babies around.Then something happened,....they started making product after product,and then product lines targeted to your age. That commercial....it said,not surgical results, [naturally] ,but if *I* use their products,I can look like the 92 lb, airbrushed,anorexic anemic 29 yr old model they used for the commercial !! But the kick...they opened a medicine cabinet,and slowly populated it with the products I'd have to use to "look like that".At last count,it was thirteen. Thirteen bottles and tubes and vials with twisty special things inside of them,artistically arranged,I imagine,as I'm supposed to arrange them in MY medicine cabinet. I have just a few questions about that:
-Where would I put my toothbrush?
If I cram all that stuff in the medicine cabinet,I'll have to remove our toothbrushes and toothpaste.Am I supposed to bypass oral hygiene in favor of no wrinkles? Cause I do NOT LIKE poor oral hygiene.
-Where is Steve supposed to put his shaving gel?
This is one of the few things I have to harp on him about. It HAS a place in the medicine cabinet,but he leaves it out,so the can makes rings everywhere it sits. I do not LIKE that! Is this commercial actually a con,made by men,so they don't have to put their shave gel away anymore because there is no ROOM at the inn for it? Cause I do NOT LIKE cleaning shave gel can rings.
-When I use this stuff,and all my wrinkles go away....will I need to get in line at DMV and get a new picture license?
Cause I do NOT LIKE DMV.No,I don't.
-Does this cream promote weight loss?
Because,I notice all the women in the commercials need to gain weight.And,if the cream DOES promote weight loss,if I shoot enough of it at my asshat neighbor,will she disappear? Cause,I do NOT LIKE her,and I'd be willing to experiment in the interests of science. Also,...if *I* buy the product,can I donate some of my weight to the women in the commercials? We women have to stick together,I'd be happy to help.
-I noticed that you said,one of the items does 7 things,..but all 7 of those things sound suspiciously like "moisturize".
How many different ways can you say "moisturize"? Do you have a list? A Thesaurus? And do you really think *I* think your cream will have the same effect as an IRON on my FACE? Cause I do NOT LIKE the thought of an iron on my face.
-I notice that all the anti-aging,anti-wrinkle,anti-reality commercials are aimed at women.
Do men not age at the same rate? Do you feel they are not as gullible as women,so your advertising $$'s would be lost? Or do men NOT LIKE to be talked down to a like an inflatable doll? Because I do NOT LIKE to be talked down to like an inflatable doll. Not even a wrinkle-free inflatable doll.With big red lips and a hoochie-mama dress.
And,at the end of the day,how effective was all that advertizing? How much bang for their mega bucks did this company get? Well,for me...I noticed that I do NOT LIKE it. I'm using my beloved,original,won't-fight-wrinkles-or-anything-else Oil of Olay.If the wrinkles want me they can have me.If they can catch me. I'm warning them, I'm pretty damn fast for an old broad.And I have a wicked left hook.
September 28 is "Ask a Stupid Question" day! Have at it!!
Friday, September 26
BOMC has landed :o)
I saw an ad for National Fire Pup day....I kid you not...on a PBS station.It got me to thinking about "wacky" holidays. I went looking for them,- MAN there are a lot of them,and they aren't hard to find. I believe in celebrating anything that makes ...well.....anything.Period.Life is too short not to celebrate things that matter to you or make you laugh.Or Smile.But some of these "holidays" are really out there.For every holiday that I laugh at as being screwball,someone else is laughing at my sacred cows. For example,I laugh at "Chicken Boy's Day [Sept 1] but Chicken Boy devotees are surely laughing at "Talk like a Pirate Day "[Sept 19] [Yarrrrrrrrgh,I'll keelhaul them Chicken Boy lovers !!] So,I decided to share my favorite wacky holidays with you,right here,so you'll always know about the holidays that are off the beaten path.Today,for example,three holidays are celebrated that I never colored in a ditto for at school,
[an aside....if ONE person makes reference to my age because I used the word ditto,I will keelhaul them.]
or saw a parade for,or a commercial for,for that matter. Today is:
National Shamu the Whale Day
National Love Letter Day
Dog Scouts of America Day
I know which one I'll laugh at,which one I'm neutral about,and which one I'm celebrating with all my heart :o)
What a great day! Work was work,and I got to come home to Steve,instead of the other way around.Very Queen-for-a-day-ish,and I appreciated it.[I would have appreciated it more if he wasn't in the middle of a "Planet of the Apes" marathon,but you can't have everything.]PLUS.....MY BOOKS ARE HERE !!! I came home and there they were,luring me onto the couch for a read.That poor laundry is gonna get an inferiority complex.A rainy day,a box of books,the best coffee in the world,and my Honey.That's living :o)
And,a Gentle Thought for the Day.....
~ There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look for it.For example,I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .~
[an aside....if ONE person makes reference to my age because I used the word ditto,I will keelhaul them.]
or saw a parade for,or a commercial for,for that matter. Today is:
National Shamu the Whale Day
National Love Letter Day
Dog Scouts of America Day
I know which one I'll laugh at,which one I'm neutral about,and which one I'm celebrating with all my heart :o)
What a great day! Work was work,and I got to come home to Steve,instead of the other way around.Very Queen-for-a-day-ish,and I appreciated it.[I would have appreciated it more if he wasn't in the middle of a "Planet of the Apes" marathon,but you can't have everything.]PLUS.....MY BOOKS ARE HERE !!! I came home and there they were,luring me onto the couch for a read.That poor laundry is gonna get an inferiority complex.A rainy day,a box of books,the best coffee in the world,and my Honey.That's living :o)
And,a Gentle Thought for the Day.....
~ There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look for it.For example,I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .~
Thursday, September 25
Hernias for fun and profit
Had to do the shopping at ShopRite today,and I always get a talker...either the cashier or the customer behind me. Generally this is good,it helps to pass the time.Today it was both. I DREADED going to checkout,I could hear the manager calling all the cashiers back to their registers,plus one person from each department. [translate: we don't have enough cashiers,please read a magazine while you wait to checkout.].The cashier was the Mom of one of the boys Stevie went to high school with,so we were playing catch up,and I like her.The customer behind me was a bitch.You know,I deleted that word 3 times but it really fits,so it stays.She started by saying "you don't look old enough to have a 25 year old" Now,normally,that's a compliment,right? [even though both my temples are gray @@ ] My cashier was in the middle of a sentence,so I just said"thanks" and kept listening.Very loudly,bitch says "Oh no,I mean you must have been a baby yourself when you had him,how old were you? Were you married?
[A Huge aside.On our Wedding night,various family members were "wondering if I was pregnant or not"...and we HEARD them.So,we waited a year before we even considered having a baby,cause no one was going to question why we got married,or if we wanted our kids. NO ONE. So,this comment REALLY sent my hackles up.]
I said "Excuse me?" and she said "Oh accidents happen"!!!!!!! Double damn bitch! I gave her The Look [all you parents and babysitters know exactly what look that is]and wouldn't talk to her.So she continues to talk to *me*,criticizing EVERY item I put on the belt. Beef!! OMG,that will give you a heart attack !! Oh,I'd NEVER buy cup o soup [triple damn bitch,that's one of my secret vices,you leave it the hell alone!!!] yada-yada-yada,OMG,I'd HAD it,so I asked her,"Excuse me? Who appointed you God?" I thought my cashier would give herself a hernia trying not to laugh,it really could have gotten her into trouble.I wish you could have seen ze' bitches' face,I guess most people don't talk back to her. I *ain't* most people,.... don't mess with my kids OR my cup o soup!! She got that martyred air about her,like *I* was the inappropriate one.At least she shut up :o)
When I compose my little bloggings,I do it in an e-mail...someone who shall remain nameless [Steve,oh yes,we all know it's Steve] needs to get his butt in gear and buy a better wireless router.It's hysterical,when all the kids are here,one by one all of us on the wireless network lose our connection,when people start yelling it's time to save,and fast. Steve doesn't care,cause he's on the desktop and is hard-wired,so he never loses his connection.I'm *lucky* enough to usually be the last to lose,so I can save what I'm working on.If not, AOL will ask if I want to save the e-mail [offline] so I don't lose what I wrote,I can't write these things out twice,if I lose it it's gone. OK,I really am getting to the point here ! Evidently AOL updated itself behind my back [I don't allow it to auto update,I don't trust it] and all my settings are frigged up...I have to now teach the spell check,which I never use,that bitch,yada-yada-yada and bloggings are all valid words. Well,they have been blogged,so they must be :o) Oops,had to teach it blogged too :o)
Ah,....the man is home.He took tomorrow off,so this is his Friday night.Time to make a drink with an umbrella in it .[and I did get the umbrellas,Stop n shop had 'em]Woo-Hoo! :o)
[A Huge aside.On our Wedding night,various family members were "wondering if I was pregnant or not"...and we HEARD them.So,we waited a year before we even considered having a baby,cause no one was going to question why we got married,or if we wanted our kids. NO ONE. So,this comment REALLY sent my hackles up.]
I said "Excuse me?" and she said "Oh accidents happen"!!!!!!! Double damn bitch! I gave her The Look [all you parents and babysitters know exactly what look that is]and wouldn't talk to her.So she continues to talk to *me*,criticizing EVERY item I put on the belt. Beef!! OMG,that will give you a heart attack !! Oh,I'd NEVER buy cup o soup [triple damn bitch,that's one of my secret vices,you leave it the hell alone!!!] yada-yada-yada,OMG,I'd HAD it,so I asked her,"Excuse me? Who appointed you God?" I thought my cashier would give herself a hernia trying not to laugh,it really could have gotten her into trouble.I wish you could have seen ze' bitches' face,I guess most people don't talk back to her. I *ain't* most people,.... don't mess with my kids OR my cup o soup!! She got that martyred air about her,like *I* was the inappropriate one.At least she shut up :o)
When I compose my little bloggings,I do it in an e-mail...someone who shall remain nameless [Steve,oh yes,we all know it's Steve] needs to get his butt in gear and buy a better wireless router.It's hysterical,when all the kids are here,one by one all of us on the wireless network lose our connection,when people start yelling it's time to save,and fast. Steve doesn't care,cause he's on the desktop and is hard-wired,so he never loses his connection.I'm *lucky* enough to usually be the last to lose,so I can save what I'm working on.If not, AOL will ask if I want to save the e-mail [offline] so I don't lose what I wrote,I can't write these things out twice,if I lose it it's gone. OK,I really am getting to the point here ! Evidently AOL updated itself behind my back [I don't allow it to auto update,I don't trust it] and all my settings are frigged up...I have to now teach the spell check,which I never use,that bitch,yada-yada-yada and bloggings are all valid words. Well,they have been blogged,so they must be :o) Oops,had to teach it blogged too :o)
Ah,....the man is home.He took tomorrow off,so this is his Friday night.Time to make a drink with an umbrella in it .[and I did get the umbrellas,Stop n shop had 'em]Woo-Hoo! :o)
Wednesday, September 24
Wyle E Coyote,Super Genius
OK, Mammo over for the year.Work, a work out, and a mammo all in the same day.....I'm so good I can't stand myself! Quick! I need to have a calzone for dinner! [Oh MAN that was good,and I have the other half for lunch tomorrow,....today keeps getting better and better :o) ] :O) I SWEAR,I have never had so much fun at a mammo before! There was NO one there [usually that place is swamped] and my tech kept being funny,I threatened to walk around topless and knock her off her feet [that's a funny threat all by itself , I'd probably break her kneecaps ;o)] Then we got into a discussion about being short..I'm 5'5,and compared to her I'm short,so just HOW much damage could I do?? She even gave me stickers so I could come home and "examine" Steve, OMG it's hysterical :o) [Oh,Mr Steve,come here baby,I got somethin' for you :o) ] She asked how long I'd been married,and when I told her,she asked if there were any secrets to staying married that long.I said yeah,we didn't own a rifle for the first 15 years,and that got her to laughing again. And then I had to go back for one more film,one didn't develop.She gets me where she wants me and says "hold your breath I'll hurry,I can see your eyes are popping outta your head" and all I could think was Wyle E.Coyote,the visual of that almost set me off again,but just the thought of having to have ANOTHER film taken kept me from LOL'ing in a big way.The ride home was drop dead gorgeous,all the windows and the sunroof open,just,well,not too bad a day!
And I though this was funny too...thank you Donna,and I hope you're doing well :o)
""Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her
sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her
groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and
enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her any crap , you will receive a ton of shit."
My men know this to be true.And as long as we understand each other,all is cool :o)
And I though this was funny too...thank you Donna,and I hope you're doing well :o)
""Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her
sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her
groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and
enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her any crap , you will receive a ton of shit."
My men know this to be true.And as long as we understand each other,all is cool :o)
Tuesday, September 23
Nope. It doesn't hurt one bit.
What a great day ! [Steve,don't read this part]I got a new bow from the 'bay last night [ok,you can start reading again] and it should be here this week.It was a funny kinda day at work.My hair clip broke,and a co-worker walked by while I was trying to repair it.His comment...."Oh,your hair looks red down,that explains a few things" [@@ ?????]And,you know you're starting to become a regular when you get teased.My supervisor asked me if I wanted some peanuts today,and handed me 2 packing peanuts.So,when I left,I left them at my station with a note"There are Gails peanuts,if you leave chocolate,they will do a great trick,they can play dead" :o)
Stevie just got ROCKING news.For some reason,he has not gotten a paycheck YET this school year..... he's a teacher at the local high school.Oooooooooooooooooooooh,I wanted to go in there and put a hurtin on someone for him [and ,I went to h.s with the assistant for the super.of personnel,and he remembers me,so he'd better be careful,do NOT mess with my kids!!!!]Stevie just got a huge retro check,and found out he was upped a pay scale too,VERY cool beans.He sounds like he's flying,and that makes my heart sing.OK,I won't hurt good ol Ed now.
Well,slap my head and call me doofus! Did you know that,if you hang aprons by the oven,and one of the ties happens to get caught in the oven door when the oven is ON,that you will smell scorching ?This is not something you want to smell while making dinner.You just LOOKED at the chicken,you KNOW that's not charring,so why would you look at the oven again? Now,I can answer a question I've had for a loooong time....No.It does NOT hurt to be that stupid.Only to watch it,not to actually BE that stupid.
Now,it may have come to your attention that I prefer to approach some of lifes' lesser moments with a little humor.ANYone who knows me knows how I feel about ticks.I was cleaning out my pfc today,and found this,directions I wrote for a friend on how to remove a tick.You may want to save them for future reference.
How to remove a Tick.
By Gail
1) Look at it.
2) Scream like there's no tomorrow.
3) Call in family members to view tick [depending on it's location on you,this could be anyone from just the hubby to the whole crew
4) Make sure the family makes enough "oh poor you" noises,or yell at them and make them do it again.
5) Look for your tweezers,you know,the eyebrow tweezers you can never find because your daughter borrows them.
6) Take a deep breath.
7) Gently but firmly,put the tweezers down and take another deep breath
8) Swear,just loud enough so the people in the next town over can hear you...you are a lady,you do not want the whole county to hear,after all,this isn't a rat in the toilet bowl ;o) [that's a whole nother story]
9) Pull the tick out,trying to lever the tweezers under it's %^&&^% head,because if it gets left behind and you have to dig that out,you have to start with step 1 all over again.
10) Hold the tick right up to your eyes to verify that you,indeed got the whole friggin thing out.
11) Swear viciously,as you are over 40 so your near vision sucks,and you do NOT want that tick anywhere near your eyeball.
12) Wrap the tick in 27 tissues
13) Call for a male family member to take that garbage can to the curb,you have heard stories of ticks biting thru 27 layers of tissue to come back and reattach to the people who took them off.
14) Place one of those long,squiggly straws in a large bottle of merlot.
15) Curl up on the couch with the bottle and the squiggly straw,and make hubby wait on you hand and foot,up to and including take out for dinner,and a full body massage.
16) Go find you another tick,cause DAYUM that massage was good.
Stevie just got ROCKING news.For some reason,he has not gotten a paycheck YET this school year..... he's a teacher at the local high school.Oooooooooooooooooooooh,I wanted to go in there and put a hurtin on someone for him [and ,I went to h.s with the assistant for the super.of personnel,and he remembers me,so he'd better be careful,do NOT mess with my kids!!!!]Stevie just got a huge retro check,and found out he was upped a pay scale too,VERY cool beans.He sounds like he's flying,and that makes my heart sing.OK,I won't hurt good ol Ed now.
Well,slap my head and call me doofus! Did you know that,if you hang aprons by the oven,and one of the ties happens to get caught in the oven door when the oven is ON,that you will smell scorching ?This is not something you want to smell while making dinner.You just LOOKED at the chicken,you KNOW that's not charring,so why would you look at the oven again? Now,I can answer a question I've had for a loooong time....No.It does NOT hurt to be that stupid.Only to watch it,not to actually BE that stupid.
Now,it may have come to your attention that I prefer to approach some of lifes' lesser moments with a little humor.ANYone who knows me knows how I feel about ticks.I was cleaning out my pfc today,and found this,directions I wrote for a friend on how to remove a tick.You may want to save them for future reference.
How to remove a Tick.
By Gail
1) Look at it.
2) Scream like there's no tomorrow.
3) Call in family members to view tick [depending on it's location on you,this could be anyone from just the hubby to the whole crew
4) Make sure the family makes enough "oh poor you" noises,or yell at them and make them do it again.
5) Look for your tweezers,you know,the eyebrow tweezers you can never find because your daughter borrows them.
6) Take a deep breath.
7) Gently but firmly,put the tweezers down and take another deep breath
8) Swear,just loud enough so the people in the next town over can hear you...you are a lady,you do not want the whole county to hear,after all,this isn't a rat in the toilet bowl ;o) [that's a whole nother story]
9) Pull the tick out,trying to lever the tweezers under it's %^&&^% head,because if it gets left behind and you have to dig that out,you have to start with step 1 all over again.
10) Hold the tick right up to your eyes to verify that you,indeed got the whole friggin thing out.
11) Swear viciously,as you are over 40 so your near vision sucks,and you do NOT want that tick anywhere near your eyeball.
12) Wrap the tick in 27 tissues
13) Call for a male family member to take that garbage can to the curb,you have heard stories of ticks biting thru 27 layers of tissue to come back and reattach to the people who took them off.
14) Place one of those long,squiggly straws in a large bottle of merlot.
15) Curl up on the couch with the bottle and the squiggly straw,and make hubby wait on you hand and foot,up to and including take out for dinner,and a full body massage.
16) Go find you another tick,cause DAYUM that massage was good.
Monday, September 22
Squishie
I had the oddest thing happen to me yesterday.I've been playing instruments,well,for most of my life,and never saw this before:
I had a window of time to practice,and chose the cello.Sat down and started to play,but,WTH??? I couldn't make what I was playing [Shubert/Ave Maria in Db]sound right! It really startled me,I thought something was wrong with my hands,but wouldn't they hurt if there was something wrong? So,I got the nano out to play with that,and for no reason,picked up my secondary bow [the first one is my favorite]I had hung the first bow from the stand,and just happened to glance at it,...do you SEE the warp on that puppy! I have NEVER seen a bow warp like that,EVER.[the hair and the wood are supposed to run straight along side each other,not look like a roller coaster]So,I took the pic,and left the bow on the baking area.Got ready to leave for work this morning [dressed all in black, it *is* monday]and hit myself with the bow. Rosin all over me :o) Just finished helping Tony open a package...used my hip to keep it on the counter when I knifed it,it slid,and knocked the bow into me again. Rosin all over me again.I am Talented! I'm not going to throw the bow out. There's no way it can be used to play with again,but I'm sure I can think of something interesting to do with it :o) Now I have to bow shop,I HATE the bows I have. Crap.
Oh,and ladies.....have you scheduled your Mammo for the year yet? Come on,get with it. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month,
http://nbcam.org/
and if you wait too long to schedule,you'll be waiting until next year. I go Wednesday,oh happy day.BUT....I take 3 days off a year....when I have my mammo and my physical....I take the day off and celebrate [I can't do that for the mammo,I'm still too new]and I took my birthday off already,I REFUSE to ever work on my birthday....Jan 2...and part of my birthday gift is that Steve has to take the day off too]which means I don't get paid for New Years Day either.Oh well ! But,I digress...at LEAST get your calendar out,call,and plan the mammo.DO IT !!!!! And if you're a guy,go grab your lady and ask her "when was the last time you had your squishie??"
And,I will leave you with this to think about....
http://www.chow.com/stories/11321
"Do people actually eat cheese made with maggots?"
Oh,yum.
Off to start dinner.And cheese isn't an ingredient in any of the dishes I'm making :o)
I had a window of time to practice,and chose the cello.Sat down and started to play,but,WTH??? I couldn't make what I was playing [Shubert/Ave Maria in Db]sound right! It really startled me,I thought something was wrong with my hands,but wouldn't they hurt if there was something wrong? So,I got the nano out to play with that,and for no reason,picked up my secondary bow [the first one is my favorite]I had hung the first bow from the stand,and just happened to glance at it,...do you SEE the warp on that puppy! I have NEVER seen a bow warp like that,EVER.[the hair and the wood are supposed to run straight along side each other,not look like a roller coaster]So,I took the pic,and left the bow on the baking area.Got ready to leave for work this morning [dressed all in black, it *is* monday]and hit myself with the bow. Rosin all over me :o) Just finished helping Tony open a package...used my hip to keep it on the counter when I knifed it,it slid,and knocked the bow into me again. Rosin all over me again.I am Talented! I'm not going to throw the bow out. There's no way it can be used to play with again,but I'm sure I can think of something interesting to do with it :o) Now I have to bow shop,I HATE the bows I have. Crap.
Oh,and ladies.....have you scheduled your Mammo for the year yet? Come on,get with it. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month,
http://nbcam.org/
and if you wait too long to schedule,you'll be waiting until next year. I go Wednesday,oh happy day.BUT....I take 3 days off a year....when I have my mammo and my physical....I take the day off and celebrate [I can't do that for the mammo,I'm still too new]and I took my birthday off already,I REFUSE to ever work on my birthday....Jan 2...and part of my birthday gift is that Steve has to take the day off too]which means I don't get paid for New Years Day either.Oh well ! But,I digress...at LEAST get your calendar out,call,and plan the mammo.DO IT !!!!! And if you're a guy,go grab your lady and ask her "when was the last time you had your squishie??"
And,I will leave you with this to think about....
http://www.chow.com/stories/11321
"Do people actually eat cheese made with maggots?"
Oh,yum.
Off to start dinner.And cheese isn't an ingredient in any of the dishes I'm making :o)
Saturday, September 20
That's a talented Ass !
I've blogged about Boo,and Stevie,but I didn't have too much to blog on Tony.I asked him,Tony,send me your favorite news story of the week.That's my boy :o)
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080918/tod-egypt-animal-justice-offbeat-07ff78c.html
Something else to say......,if you try a new dish for dinner,and your husband is verbally less than thrilled,then you inform him that HE will be making dinner the next night [I don't know about your house,but here,Steve has 3 dishes that he can make ...hamburgers,chili,and take-out.I believe he will select option the 3rd tomorrow ;o)] I hope you have a great evening :o)
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080918/tod-egypt-animal-justice-offbeat-07ff78c.html
Something else to say......,if you try a new dish for dinner,and your husband is verbally less than thrilled,then you inform him that HE will be making dinner the next night [I don't know about your house,but here,Steve has 3 dishes that he can make ...hamburgers,chili,and take-out.I believe he will select option the 3rd tomorrow ;o)] I hope you have a great evening :o)
Thursday, September 18
Is there an echo in here?
I'm home,and I ought to be marinating chicken breasts and setting out the steaks to warm up a bit before they hit the grill.I'm waiting for Boo and the Steves right now.Instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing,I moved my cello out of Boos room and wound up playing for a while,and then I signed on to check my e-mail.Went to Google,and discovered the artist skins for your Google home page! Played with them for a bit,and came here.Noticed that I've had about double my normal traffic for the day,so I went to the aol boards,and sure enough,they're down again.
[An aside:if you ask nice I'll show you where my counter is.All I wanted to know was,am I speaking to myself or myself and others?The invisible counter tells me how many unique hits I get in a day...so,if you read my blog,then come back later that day to click on a link I posted or laugh at a pic,then you won't be counted.Today,-the hit counter goes from midnight to midnight...I've had 103 visitors.I usually run around 55-60,so I knew right away something was up.Hi everybody :o)]
[Another aside:the same thing happens here that happened at the lol board.I had a counter there too,and people will read but don't want to speak.That's cool,just sometimes I like to know if you're there,or if there's an echo]
What did I come in here to show you? Oh,right....so I was at Google [ah,back on my train of thought] and saw this: [actually,I saw "Beethoven" and got curious]
http://people.howstuffworks.com/mad-genius.htm
There,now you can go look around.I recommend signing up at Google and customizing your page.You don't have to do it all in one fell swoop,but you'll like the results when you're done.
I'm going to meet Steve at the door with a drink and a smile :o) This seems to be a good thing to do on friday nights.He called before he left work ad was wondering if he'd get a drink,hehehe.I told him sure,a crushed ice screwdriver,and he asked if we had any lil umbrellas for it.I ran and put them on the store list,we don't have them...but I'll meet him with the drink and a huge Toyota umbrella.....I don't think Toyota corporate had this usage in mind when they were passing out the stadium umbrellas,but that's their problem,not mine.
TGIF !!! and I hope you all have a great evening :o)
[An aside:if you ask nice I'll show you where my counter is.All I wanted to know was,am I speaking to myself or myself and others?The invisible counter tells me how many unique hits I get in a day...so,if you read my blog,then come back later that day to click on a link I posted or laugh at a pic,then you won't be counted.Today,-the hit counter goes from midnight to midnight...I've had 103 visitors.I usually run around 55-60,so I knew right away something was up.Hi everybody :o)]
[Another aside:the same thing happens here that happened at the lol board.I had a counter there too,and people will read but don't want to speak.That's cool,just sometimes I like to know if you're there,or if there's an echo]
What did I come in here to show you? Oh,right....so I was at Google [ah,back on my train of thought] and saw this: [actually,I saw "Beethoven" and got curious]
http://people.howstuffworks.com/mad-genius.htm
There,now you can go look around.I recommend signing up at Google and customizing your page.You don't have to do it all in one fell swoop,but you'll like the results when you're done.
I'm going to meet Steve at the door with a drink and a smile :o) This seems to be a good thing to do on friday nights.He called before he left work ad was wondering if he'd get a drink,hehehe.I told him sure,a crushed ice screwdriver,and he asked if we had any lil umbrellas for it.I ran and put them on the store list,we don't have them...but I'll meet him with the drink and a huge Toyota umbrella.....I don't think Toyota corporate had this usage in mind when they were passing out the stadium umbrellas,but that's their problem,not mine.
TGIF !!! and I hope you all have a great evening :o)
Welcome :o)
I hope you're clearing your throat,I fully expect a least a "Yaaarrrrrrrrrr" tomorrow!
We love Birthdays.Boo couldn't come home on her birthday in August,so she reserved the right to have a birthday dinner at a later date.That later date is tomorrow night.Her boyfriend left today for a year to study in Japan,and Boo is blue,so the perfect weekend to come home to us :o) And her selections for her birthday dinner are inspired....NY strip steaks on the grill,potato salad,carmelized onions,a veggie & salad.So its a last hoorah for summer too.[A Helpful Cooking Tip...do NOT forget to wear gloves when slicing all those onions, if you cut and dinged the living hell out of both hands at work.Trust me on that,I don't need to draw you a picture.]
I've been thinking about Boo a lot today.I checked my e-mail earlier,and got notice of new items from a company I'd ordered from before ....giantmicrobes.Yes,giant microbes.com.When she went to college as a freshman,I thought she's want something to keep her company,and dorm rooms are small,so it had to be small.I didn't quite know what to do,until inspiration hit.......Black Death !!! That's right,I saw Black Death and fell in love, and thought "What better thing for a Mom to do than to give Black Death to her daughter? And it'd make a great conversation piece ["Hey,Your Ma sent cookies,but My Ma sent me the Black Death !! That's true love!"]
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/main/calamities/
I got her mad cow and black death [under "Calamities] I have the mad cow now,it reminds me of my cow seat covers.I think black death suffered a calamity.
I also got a "Welcome to the Club" e-mail from BOMC :o) My box o' books should be here soon!!!!!!!!!!!!! But....WHO are they kidding, welcoming me and showing *me* around the site? Don't they know they welcomed me 12 times before? When their "contact us" link didn't work,who told 'em? Me! When their site was down,who called 'em? Me !When their sales prices weren't reflected in the cart [due to a scripting error,I hear] who informed them of the "technical issue" ? Me ! :O) So,maybe *I* should show *them* around the site :o)
Now,don't forget.....I need a least a muffled "Avast there ye mateys" !!
We love Birthdays.Boo couldn't come home on her birthday in August,so she reserved the right to have a birthday dinner at a later date.That later date is tomorrow night.Her boyfriend left today for a year to study in Japan,and Boo is blue,so the perfect weekend to come home to us :o) And her selections for her birthday dinner are inspired....NY strip steaks on the grill,potato salad,carmelized onions,a veggie & salad.So its a last hoorah for summer too.[A Helpful Cooking Tip...do NOT forget to wear gloves when slicing all those onions, if you cut and dinged the living hell out of both hands at work.Trust me on that,I don't need to draw you a picture.]
I've been thinking about Boo a lot today.I checked my e-mail earlier,and got notice of new items from a company I'd ordered from before ....giantmicrobes.Yes,giant microbes.com.When she went to college as a freshman,I thought she's want something to keep her company,and dorm rooms are small,so it had to be small.I didn't quite know what to do,until inspiration hit.......Black Death !!! That's right,I saw Black Death and fell in love, and thought "What better thing for a Mom to do than to give Black Death to her daughter? And it'd make a great conversation piece ["Hey,Your Ma sent cookies,but My Ma sent me the Black Death !! That's true love!"]
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/main/calamities/
I got her mad cow and black death [under "Calamities] I have the mad cow now,it reminds me of my cow seat covers.I think black death suffered a calamity.
I also got a "Welcome to the Club" e-mail from BOMC :o) My box o' books should be here soon!!!!!!!!!!!!! But....WHO are they kidding, welcoming me and showing *me* around the site? Don't they know they welcomed me 12 times before? When their "contact us" link didn't work,who told 'em? Me! When their site was down,who called 'em? Me !When their sales prices weren't reflected in the cart [due to a scripting error,I hear] who informed them of the "technical issue" ? Me ! :O) So,maybe *I* should show *them* around the site :o)
Now,don't forget.....I need a least a muffled "Avast there ye mateys" !!
Wednesday, September 17
Avast there!!
Hi! I was thinking about this blog entry a lot this morning.I had intended to blog about what I was actually thinking vs.what I said and did,but I was afraid I'd scare you off :O).It seemed like every third thought was like "Game Face! Game Face!" or "Oh,NO NOT the farter!!! Go AWAY !!!" or "This component is an excellent exfoliant,along the lines of a microplane,just look at my hands" but it got boring.
I *do* have a smal update.You might remember that I am looking for a pic that *I* scanned to disk and loaded onto this very puter Personally,so I KNOW it's here somewhere.I STILL haven't found that pic on my puter.And now,the puter will freeze when the pic screen saver is on. Intel says the Toshiba driver needs to update,Toshiba says the Intel drivers need to update. I did it all manually,nothing worked,but I got a strong craving for amber liquid over ice .GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Oh! Speaking of which,I feel compelled to tell you this: Friday is "Talk like a Pirate "day.I celebrate the day every year,much to the shock and awe of my family and friends.I have been known to to whip out an ARRRRRRRRRgh,ye matey" at the bank,in the store,on the job,where ever the mood strikes. I hereby DARE,no,I take that back.I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU to talk like a pirate...even if it's under your breath,or alone in the car during the commute.You'll HEAR me,I will let out a pirates "Avast there,me foine buck-o,hand me the industrial size box of bandaids and get the microplane out of me sight,there's a good lad"the likes of which you've never seen [or heard].Here's a website to get you in the mood:
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
Now,you cooperate,and talk like a pirate,....or prepare to be boarded! :o)
I *do* have a smal update.You might remember that I am looking for a pic that *I* scanned to disk and loaded onto this very puter Personally,so I KNOW it's here somewhere.I STILL haven't found that pic on my puter.And now,the puter will freeze when the pic screen saver is on. Intel says the Toshiba driver needs to update,Toshiba says the Intel drivers need to update. I did it all manually,nothing worked,but I got a strong craving for amber liquid over ice .GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Oh! Speaking of which,I feel compelled to tell you this: Friday is "Talk like a Pirate "day.I celebrate the day every year,much to the shock and awe of my family and friends.I have been known to to whip out an ARRRRRRRRRgh,ye matey" at the bank,in the store,on the job,where ever the mood strikes. I hereby DARE,no,I take that back.I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU to talk like a pirate...even if it's under your breath,or alone in the car during the commute.You'll HEAR me,I will let out a pirates "Avast there,me foine buck-o,hand me the industrial size box of bandaids and get the microplane out of me sight,there's a good lad"the likes of which you've never seen [or heard].Here's a website to get you in the mood:
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
Now,you cooperate,and talk like a pirate,....or prepare to be boarded! :o)
Tuesday, September 16
Dear Diary......
Dear Diary,
Today I had a run-in with the neighborhood ass-hat.You know,the one person that everyone dislikes,the one voted "most likely to borrow something and never return it"? Well,when I got home from work her dog was in my yard.I grabbed it's collar and took it back up the hill,she was outside.I explained to her,we have leash laws...it is illegal for her to let her dog run loose,and unfair to us,as my side of the street is not even allowed to have dogs. [really] She says to me "Gail,the dog wants to run loose." I said "Hey,YOU are the human,you rule the dog,not the other way around." And SHE says..."Well you play your music WAY too loud,I can hear you coming from a mile away" [ @@]" So *I* say "What does that have to do with your dog crapping in my yard?" And she sez, "And you drive too fast" And ran inside. @@ Asshat.I was listening to Mahlers 2nd,she's lucky she wasn't in the road,she'd need the resurrection ;o) And the second I got inside,the neighborhood gossip [Not me?? Can you be-LIEVE it ?? ][he's 88 going on 16,and knows every single thing that goes on in this town,everybody loves him]called me to see "if everything was ok". Evidently,the dog "loves" him and tries to knock him over,so now I'll have to do something,I can't let that dog hurt him.
Hey Diary,Stevie was here today to do his laundry.I forgot he was coming,in the thrill of vacuuming [OK,Diary,THAT was a bald-faced lie,I was *thinking* about vacuuming.That's good,right? ] Actually,for the first time since I started the new job I didn't feel broken when I got home,so I got a lot of stuff done that was making me feel guilty.Like laundry.And cleaning out the microwave,I don't know HOW Tony does it,but he manages to blow something up in there on a regular basis.I think I'm going to charge him an ass fee for the clean-up.
Ass Fee
[n] A monetary fee charged by Gail, paid by various family members, for various messes,made by the offender,and left for Gail to clean up.Most of the time,the fee is met with laughter,but if the offender greets the fee with surliness,Gail reserves the right to double or triple the fee,depending on the phase of the moon,the day of the week,and whether she can con the offender into going to the store for her.Milk and OJ runs are always popular choices for the Ass Fee.And if a little strawberry ice cream finds it's way into the cart,even better.
Also,my Dear Diary,I made an end-run around Steve.He called to say he'd be late tonight,and I said "Gee honey,that kinda spoils what I was makin' for dinner,you'll have to bring chinese home". And HE said "My being a half hour late ruins the dinner you were gonna cook?" And I said "Yup !!" And when he was done laughing,he agreed to bring it on home. A Good Day.Well,I hear "Helloooooooooooo,Lucy" and I smell chinese,so it's dinner time.Goodnight,Dear Diary :o)
Today I had a run-in with the neighborhood ass-hat.You know,the one person that everyone dislikes,the one voted "most likely to borrow something and never return it"? Well,when I got home from work her dog was in my yard.I grabbed it's collar and took it back up the hill,she was outside.I explained to her,we have leash laws...it is illegal for her to let her dog run loose,and unfair to us,as my side of the street is not even allowed to have dogs. [really] She says to me "Gail,the dog wants to run loose." I said "Hey,YOU are the human,you rule the dog,not the other way around." And SHE says..."Well you play your music WAY too loud,I can hear you coming from a mile away" [ @@]" So *I* say "What does that have to do with your dog crapping in my yard?" And she sez, "And you drive too fast" And ran inside. @@ Asshat.I was listening to Mahlers 2nd,she's lucky she wasn't in the road,she'd need the resurrection ;o) And the second I got inside,the neighborhood gossip [Not me?? Can you be-LIEVE it ?? ][he's 88 going on 16,and knows every single thing that goes on in this town,everybody loves him]called me to see "if everything was ok". Evidently,the dog "loves" him and tries to knock him over,so now I'll have to do something,I can't let that dog hurt him.
Hey Diary,Stevie was here today to do his laundry.I forgot he was coming,in the thrill of vacuuming [OK,Diary,THAT was a bald-faced lie,I was *thinking* about vacuuming.That's good,right? ] Actually,for the first time since I started the new job I didn't feel broken when I got home,so I got a lot of stuff done that was making me feel guilty.Like laundry.And cleaning out the microwave,I don't know HOW Tony does it,but he manages to blow something up in there on a regular basis.I think I'm going to charge him an ass fee for the clean-up.
Ass Fee
[n] A monetary fee charged by Gail, paid by various family members, for various messes,made by the offender,and left for Gail to clean up.Most of the time,the fee is met with laughter,but if the offender greets the fee with surliness,Gail reserves the right to double or triple the fee,depending on the phase of the moon,the day of the week,and whether she can con the offender into going to the store for her.Milk and OJ runs are always popular choices for the Ass Fee.And if a little strawberry ice cream finds it's way into the cart,even better.
Also,my Dear Diary,I made an end-run around Steve.He called to say he'd be late tonight,and I said "Gee honey,that kinda spoils what I was makin' for dinner,you'll have to bring chinese home". And HE said "My being a half hour late ruins the dinner you were gonna cook?" And I said "Yup !!" And when he was done laughing,he agreed to bring it on home. A Good Day.Well,I hear "Helloooooooooooo,Lucy" and I smell chinese,so it's dinner time.Goodnight,Dear Diary :o)
Monday, September 15
WEATHER !!!!!
I've been telling you about the job :o) What I didn't tell you is that I appear to have grown a third foot,one that walks smack-dab into my station every chance it gets.I had a checkup today,and the Dr was really concerned about the bruising on my legs.I was trying to explain "Hey,that's just how I roll" but evidently normal peoples' legs don't look like mine right now.AND...I got a *wow* out of my supervisor at work today,so that made the booboos all better ;o)
I also told you the tale of 2 TV's and how we wound up buying 2 new TV's in one week.I guess I'm behind the 8-ball when it comes to this type of technology...if I can turn the tv on and watch what I want,I'm satisfied.This round of TV buying,we wound up with flat panel,lcd,as opposed to tube tv's,...you know,the huge honkin big ones that take up half a room.[especially if that room is tiny...did I tell you this house is tiny ?? I think I did.] I am not seeing the huge big deal.Most channels are not hi def [in my area,we can't use a dish,so we have cable tv].The hd channels are duplicates of ones we have already,...so let's say you watch the cbs morning show while you're getting ready to git.You used to putting it on ch2,now you have to remember to put it on 702.And you get you ass blasted out of the room,because another thing you didn't know is that all the hd channels are much louder than their "regular" counterparts.I am not big on mornings,I prefer to be eased into them. I don't like to have the weather yelled at me,or see those omg-I-can't-believe-how-awake-they-are newscasters more up close than I thought possible :o) .I really,REALLY like the size of the tv's,they have a much smaller footprint than the tube tv's do.But I don't feel like it was worth all the extra money to get flat panels. [I know,I know,I'm a philistine,a heretic,fill-in-the-blank.]
Did I forget anything?? :o) Some subjects,well,honestly,most subjects,bring just a few e-mails.I'm not even going to NAME the 2 blog entries I made that got a LOT of e-mail.I believe if you read here regularly,you can pretty much extrapolate which 2 they were.It's easier to be funny than philosophical.And on that note,a submission from Stevie.He is learning to cook,and sends us pictures of his progress [I LOVE cell phone cameras !!!]In case you can't tell,it's sauteed kielbasa with peppers n onions over brown rice.He made this the evening of the Boo/tat im.As I use aim,I could see both of their im tabs ,and got to see Stevies away:cooking dinner ..and Boo's response:how many times did the fire trucks show up? My Mom would love to have seen this :o):
Sunday, September 14
Judgement
I know my "ticker" [off to the right]says that fall will be here in 8 days,but I have news for you...fall started thurs. evening.This is the only time of year the sun slants enough to hit me in the face when I'm sitting on the couch.Also the poison oak trees are losing their leaves already.That's the only tree I hate...they're the last to leaf out in the spring,the first to drop their leaves in the fall,and grow like weeds. Every year,when I bring my plants in from outside,I have to rip saplings out of them.Thurs.also was the day I started bringing the plants in.I do one or two a day,because you really have to prep the plants to come back inside,including checking them carefully for passengers from the great outdoors.Can you see me running around after a skink again??Or have it come off the huge spathiphylum on my side of the bed?? OMG,that's heart attack waiting to happen! Our big bedroom window is home to a huge spider plant...so huge,I had to make babies off of it,and give it to Boo for her apt.I have a baby that already has runners with seed pods on it.....and when it throws it seeds it'll be all over us So,today I have to go give that plant a clipping,I don't want to have to clean up all those lil seeds.
An update....the fallout from my"politics' blog entry has yet to end.Of Course I read the e-mails.So,I'll say this......We can all disagree on the Sarah Palin issue. I stayed home with my children,because that was the right thing to do,for me and for Steve,and for our children.Not for the family down the street,or the milkman,or the mayor.For US. Yes,I am aware of the sacrifices I made,yes,sometimes it hurt like hell,but *I* am the Mama,and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I am the LAST PERSON on the face of the earth to judge someone for doing what THEY think is right.For me,personally,I could not live with the thought of someone else raising my children.They were my sweet babies,they came first,and I wasn't going to leave them with a stranger.It wasn't going to happen. Steve wholeheartedly supported that decision,but make no mistake...it was my decision to make,and I own the consequences.No one else. A lot of women can't afford to stay home with their babies,and some women weren't built to do it.My decision is a judgement on ME,not on other women who may choose differently.My loopies and I were discussing this......the ramifications of my stepping out of the "out of the house" workforce for so long have been huge,and painful for me.And perfectly correct for my crew.BUT....if I had gone against my gut instinct.....what would my life be like now? What kind of people would my children be? Who would have been there for my Mother when she was dying? And Steve...Steve is my rock and my safe place. Would we still be married,or have such a deep,fantastic relationship? I lost a lot,but gained more than I can ever say.What I gained,I can't put it in the bank,but I can carry it around in my heart,and examine it on the days where I just want to sit down and cry. It keeps me warm at night,and lifts me up when I need lifting up. And I think what I gained,gave me the ability to give that all back.It made me a better me.How was THAT for an answer? I won't be judging her.I don't think I'll be voting for her,but I won't be judging her either.
An update....the fallout from my"politics' blog entry has yet to end.Of Course I read the e-mails.So,I'll say this......We can all disagree on the Sarah Palin issue. I stayed home with my children,because that was the right thing to do,for me and for Steve,and for our children.Not for the family down the street,or the milkman,or the mayor.For US. Yes,I am aware of the sacrifices I made,yes,sometimes it hurt like hell,but *I* am the Mama,and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I am the LAST PERSON on the face of the earth to judge someone for doing what THEY think is right.For me,personally,I could not live with the thought of someone else raising my children.They were my sweet babies,they came first,and I wasn't going to leave them with a stranger.It wasn't going to happen. Steve wholeheartedly supported that decision,but make no mistake...it was my decision to make,and I own the consequences.No one else. A lot of women can't afford to stay home with their babies,and some women weren't built to do it.My decision is a judgement on ME,not on other women who may choose differently.My loopies and I were discussing this......the ramifications of my stepping out of the "out of the house" workforce for so long have been huge,and painful for me.And perfectly correct for my crew.BUT....if I had gone against my gut instinct.....what would my life be like now? What kind of people would my children be? Who would have been there for my Mother when she was dying? And Steve...Steve is my rock and my safe place. Would we still be married,or have such a deep,fantastic relationship? I lost a lot,but gained more than I can ever say.What I gained,I can't put it in the bank,but I can carry it around in my heart,and examine it on the days where I just want to sit down and cry. It keeps me warm at night,and lifts me up when I need lifting up. And I think what I gained,gave me the ability to give that all back.It made me a better me.How was THAT for an answer? I won't be judging her.I don't think I'll be voting for her,but I won't be judging her either.
Saturday, September 13
Promises,Promises
Hi,my name is Gail,and I'm addicted to Books :o) I just rejoined BOMC. You know,they don't clear their puters of your info when you quit,wait a while,and rejoin when they send you the "pretty-please come back to us" e-mail,so that you can take advantage of the new enrollment package ::::innocent whistling:::: The last time I had to call them about something,my c.s rep started laughing,because evidently over the years,I've "become" a member 12 times [I guess this is number 13,WTG Gail!!] and all the book clubs are actually one company,God forBID that c.s rep saw my enrollment history in the other ones,she's fall off of her chair. I had PROMISED myself that I would not re-enroll until we bought a house next year,-every spare cent is going into savings for the event,-but like most addicts,I couldn't do it :/ Getting a box of books in the mail is on my top 10 things I enjoy the most list. I try to be kind to the family when I enroll too,by getting books that they might enjoy that aren't particularly my cuppa,like,the videohound series for Tony,that's one of his savant areas....you need to know anything about movies,ask him.He will sit down and read that like it's the Holy Grail.And biographies,he never met one of those he didn't like.and anything auto or wrestling. Right now,I have Steve enthralled by the Pillars of the Earth/World Without End books by Ken Follett..and if you're looking for just one of the best reads of your life,pick up Pillars. [I'm re-reading it right now] Trust me. Steve would rather read a Chilton [huge tech manuals for autos] than a book,but he is hooked thru the nose.Pillars is one of those books that all 5 of us have read. Stevie will read just about anything,but especially loves auto and history books.And Boo,she'll read anything too,but she shares my pleasure of Carl Hiassen.OMG,when she read the one where the bar bouncer tries to insert a cockroach into a container of yogurt to get a good lawsuit going,that captured her fancy :o) I'll read anything,I care more for how a book is written than the subject material.
I discovered today,that,draping your raincoat over the vacuum cleaner doesn't make it,or the need to vacuum,go away,so I got my ass in gear.I was thinking how much I miss drop-ins......you know,letting people know it's ok to stop by wthout calling [as long as it's not too late at night]This house is just to small for me to keep it the way I want it.[I'm not kidding,I know you probably think the reverse is true,but for me it's not]I can't WAIT 'til we move so I can "throw open the doors" again [and I'll make DAMN sure we don't live on an unplowed road this time,so people don't slide off the road trying to get up here in the winter.] Now,where was my train of thought?Oh,yeah...I'm all caught up on the stuff I should be. Go Gail :o) I was even a good Wife/Mom and didn't complain when the men took over the tv for the race this afternoon,I get HUGE wife points for that.Not that I need 'em,Steve's husband points will never catch up to my wife points.[I'll make sure of it 
]
]Friday, September 12
This Night
A loopie sent me this...here are the rules:
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?So, here's how it works:
1)Open your library .(iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2)Put it on "shuffle"
3)Press "play"
4)For every question, type the song that's playing
5)When you go to a new question, press the "next" button
6)Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool
[so,you can erase my song "answers",grab your ipod and answer the questions yourownself.]
Now keep in mind,this is my nano,none of my instrumental music is on the nano,and not all of my "musical" library
Here are my answers,be sure to look at my fight song @@[I cut 2 out for space and embarrassment reasons.]
Opening Credits: Safe in my heart/Foreigner
Waking Up: I see your smile/Gloria Estefan
First Day At School: The winner takes it all/ABBA
Falling In Love:Medley: Worst that could Happen/Wedding Bell Blues/5th Dimension
Fight Song: You've got a friend/James Taylor
Breaking Up: Say good by to Hollywood/Billy Joel
Life: You took the words right outta my mouth/Meatloaf
Driving: The Boogie that Be/Black Eyes Peas
Wedding: Dream a little dream of me/Mama Cass Elliot
Birth of Child: Union/Black Eyed Peas
Final Battle: It's too late/Carole King
Death Scene: One of these night/Eagles
Funeral Song: Babylon/Don McLean
End Credits: This Night/Billy Joel
Some of them are pretty funny !And,one or two are embarrassing,but there ya go.
It's raining here in NY this afternoon,which is always great cello playing weather,it sounds incredible when the humidity is high,I can't do anything wrong [well,I could and I did,but even that didn't sound so bad ]What a great afternoon! I know where all the kids are,and they're fine.Steve is on his way home to me right now. I got ZIPPO housework done because I wanted to play,so I know what I'll be doing tomorrow,but it was worth it :o) Oh, and I made it thru my first week on the new job,I am fast,and I am enthusiastic [????] and I got paid a lil more than I thought,...all is good.And now,I will go be a good wife,and make dinner.TGIF !
[P.S... I met him at the door with a screwdriver,looks like it'll be an appetizer night ...That's talent,I'm telling you !!!]
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?So, here's how it works:
1)Open your library .(iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2)Put it on "shuffle"
3)Press "play"
4)For every question, type the song that's playing
5)When you go to a new question, press the "next" button
6)Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool
[so,you can erase my song "answers",grab your ipod and answer the questions yourownself.]
Now keep in mind,this is my nano,none of my instrumental music is on the nano,and not all of my "musical" library
Here are my answers,be sure to look at my fight song @@[I cut 2 out for space and embarrassment reasons.]
Opening Credits: Safe in my heart/Foreigner
Waking Up: I see your smile/Gloria Estefan
First Day At School: The winner takes it all/ABBA
Falling In Love:Medley: Worst that could Happen/Wedding Bell Blues/5th Dimension
Fight Song: You've got a friend/James Taylor
Breaking Up: Say good by to Hollywood/Billy Joel
Life: You took the words right outta my mouth/Meatloaf
Driving: The Boogie that Be/Black Eyes Peas
Wedding: Dream a little dream of me/Mama Cass Elliot
Birth of Child: Union/Black Eyed Peas
Final Battle: It's too late/Carole King
Death Scene: One of these night/Eagles
Funeral Song: Babylon/Don McLean
End Credits: This Night/Billy Joel
Some of them are pretty funny !And,one or two are embarrassing,but there ya go.
It's raining here in NY this afternoon,which is always great cello playing weather,it sounds incredible when the humidity is high,I can't do anything wrong [well,I could and I did,but even that didn't sound so bad ]What a great afternoon! I know where all the kids are,and they're fine.Steve is on his way home to me right now. I got ZIPPO housework done because I wanted to play,so I know what I'll be doing tomorrow,but it was worth it :o) Oh, and I made it thru my first week on the new job,I am fast,and I am enthusiastic [????] and I got paid a lil more than I thought,...all is good.And now,I will go be a good wife,and make dinner.TGIF !
[P.S... I met him at the door with a screwdriver,looks like it'll be an appetizer night ...That's talent,I'm telling you !!!]
Thursday, September 11
Ecnalubma !!
I can't imagine how parents got to peek into their kids lives,before IM's.I Love IM's and the kids away messages,I always know [and sometimes I wish I didn't,but that's being a parent ] what's up.Today,the IM's started because Boo couldn't get a hold of her cousin T [you've read about T here],for "artistic help",no other explanation given.THEN I was shown a gorgeous sketch of a praying angel.THEN I was told it was Boo's new [first] tat.Boink! A head shot! But,I knew she'd been considering one for a while,so I wasn't too shocked.But,I think maybe SHE thought I'd be.
e******** (3:13:04 PM): hahae
********(3:13:17 PM): that's why i figured you would be excited about it
Fishiewoo (3:13:35 PM): well,shocked THEN excited,excited was definitely there!!!
e******** (3:13:42 PM): haha
so,we get past the telling to me,and then it's Steve's turn:
-------
ATTENTION (3:30:09 PM): Transfer complete: *****.pic [angel sketch]
ATTENTION (3:30:13 PM): Transfer complete: ****.pic
e********* returned at 3:30:33 PM.
Fishiewoo (3:31:00 PM): WOW !!!
e********* (3:31:03 PM): ^_^
Fishiewoo (3:31:21 PM): I'm sending it to 'paw.
e********* (3:31:41 PM): haha ok tell him to sit down first Fishiewoo (3:31:57 PM): :o)
---
and then,the real reason for the IM,makin' sure *I* told Dad. While He was here.And she was there. I think it was more of a courtesy than anything else,Boo is not worried about what Dad might say,but knows him well enough to give him a space to say stupid stuff without her hearing it :o) That's true love :o)
---
e********* (3:44:31 PM): lol let me know what Dad says
Fishiewoo (3:45:36 PM): Oh,hon,I send him copies of our IM's,so I think he'll be iming you his own self,I don't think I 'll have to tell you:O) But...I don't think he'll have a prob with it,and I'll be right here,...why,if'n he does have a problem,I'll smack it right out of his head onto the floor,and stomp on it! THen I'll kiss him and make it all better :o) :o)
e********* (3:45:47 PM): haha
e********* (3:46:03 PM): still itll be funny to see the look on his face though
Fishiewoo (3:46:14 PM): hehehe
------
And,do you know what? In all their lives,Stevies' fender-benders aside,THIS is the "worst" thing we have heard from the kids.And Steveis fender-benders were frightening,but not "bad".So,we did pretty damn good,AND we're extremely lucky,and they are great people.Oh!! See? When it rains,it pours.This morning...I left Stevie an away message,suggesting that he might not want to say he's out in his away message,for security reasons.So,this afternoon,I get this:
---
G********* Says [4:07 P.M.]: I see what you're saying
Fishiewoo [4:08 P.M.]: Hi ! :o)
G********* [4:08 P.M.]: How about this instead for an away when I'm at work
G*********** [4:08 P.M.]: "Whacking Off... Do Not Disturb"
G********* [4:08 P.M.]: haha
G********* [4:08 P.M.]: :-)
Fishiewoo [4:08 P.M.]: Oh,good one Stevie! I'm blogging later,want me to add THAT lil tidbit??? :O)
G********* [4:08 P.M.]: go for it
Fishiewoo [4:09 P.M.]: Stevie,you know I'll do it
G********* [4:09 P.M.]: i know
G******** [4:09 P.M.]: and im saying
G********** [4:09 P.M.]: go ahead and do it!!
Fishiewoo [4:09 P.M.]: hehehe,2 crazy kids in one day,how lucky can a Mom get?????
G************ [4:09 P.M.]: just wait til tony flips his lid
Fishiewoo [4:10 P.M.]: I'm waiting for him to get WWE tatted on his forehead :o)
G************ Says [4:10 P.M.]: only a matter of time
Fishiewoo [4:10 P.M.]: And the tat artist wil be a stunard,and print it so that you need a mirror to read it
G********* [4:11 P.M.]: haha like "ECNALUBMA" across the front of an ambulance
Fishiewoo [4:11 P.M.]: hehehe,yup!!!
G********* [4:11 P.M.]: and you can quote me on that too
Fishiewoo [4:11 P.M.]: took ya a while to type THAT backwards,huh!
G********* [4:12 P.M.]: yes, yes it did
Fishiewoo [4:12 P.M.]: I'm glad you imed,I don't want to vacumm!!
G********* [4:12 P.M.]: vacuuming sucks Ma
Fishiewoo [4:12 P.M.]: aw geez,I shoulda seen that one coming,you're just like your Dad ;o')
-----
And I still didn't vacumm,and odds are I won't get to it today.That's ok,it can keep the laundry company,I gots me some practicing to do :o)
e******** (3:13:04 PM): hahae
********(3:13:17 PM): that's why i figured you would be excited about it
Fishiewoo (3:13:35 PM): well,shocked THEN excited,excited was definitely there!!!
e******** (3:13:42 PM): haha
so,we get past the telling to me,and then it's Steve's turn:
-------
ATTENTION (3:30:09 PM): Transfer complete: *****.pic [angel sketch]
ATTENTION (3:30:13 PM): Transfer complete: ****.pic
e********* returned at 3:30:33 PM.
Fishiewoo (3:31:00 PM): WOW !!!
e********* (3:31:03 PM): ^_^
Fishiewoo (3:31:21 PM): I'm sending it to 'paw.
e********* (3:31:41 PM): haha ok tell him to sit down first Fishiewoo (3:31:57 PM): :o)
---
and then,the real reason for the IM,makin' sure *I* told Dad. While He was here.And she was there. I think it was more of a courtesy than anything else,Boo is not worried about what Dad might say,but knows him well enough to give him a space to say stupid stuff without her hearing it :o) That's true love :o)
---
e********* (3:44:31 PM): lol let me know what Dad says
Fishiewoo (3:45:36 PM): Oh,hon,I send him copies of our IM's,so I think he'll be iming you his own self,I don't think I 'll have to tell you:O) But...I don't think he'll have a prob with it,and I'll be right here,...why,if'n he does have a problem,I'll smack it right out of his head onto the floor,and stomp on it! THen I'll kiss him and make it all better :o) :o)
e********* (3:45:47 PM): haha
e********* (3:46:03 PM): still itll be funny to see the look on his face though
Fishiewoo (3:46:14 PM): hehehe
------
And,do you know what? In all their lives,Stevies' fender-benders aside,THIS is the "worst" thing we have heard from the kids.And Steveis fender-benders were frightening,but not "bad".So,we did pretty damn good,AND we're extremely lucky,and they are great people.Oh!! See? When it rains,it pours.This morning...I left Stevie an away message,suggesting that he might not want to say he's out in his away message,for security reasons.So,this afternoon,I get this:
---
G********* Says [4:07 P.M.]: I see what you're saying
Fishiewoo [4:08 P.M.]: Hi ! :o)
G********* [4:08 P.M.]: How about this instead for an away when I'm at work
G*********** [4:08 P.M.]: "Whacking Off... Do Not Disturb"
G********* [4:08 P.M.]: haha
G********* [4:08 P.M.]: :-)
Fishiewoo [4:08 P.M.]: Oh,good one Stevie! I'm blogging later,want me to add THAT lil tidbit??? :O)
G********* [4:08 P.M.]: go for it
Fishiewoo [4:09 P.M.]: Stevie,you know I'll do it
G********* [4:09 P.M.]: i know
G******** [4:09 P.M.]: and im saying
G********** [4:09 P.M.]: go ahead and do it!!
Fishiewoo [4:09 P.M.]: hehehe,2 crazy kids in one day,how lucky can a Mom get?????
G************ [4:09 P.M.]: just wait til tony flips his lid
Fishiewoo [4:10 P.M.]: I'm waiting for him to get WWE tatted on his forehead :o)
G************ Says [4:10 P.M.]: only a matter of time
Fishiewoo [4:10 P.M.]: And the tat artist wil be a stunard,and print it so that you need a mirror to read it
G********* [4:11 P.M.]: haha like "ECNALUBMA" across the front of an ambulance
Fishiewoo [4:11 P.M.]: hehehe,yup!!!
G********* [4:11 P.M.]: and you can quote me on that too
Fishiewoo [4:11 P.M.]: took ya a while to type THAT backwards,huh!
G********* [4:12 P.M.]: yes, yes it did
Fishiewoo [4:12 P.M.]: I'm glad you imed,I don't want to vacumm!!
G********* [4:12 P.M.]: vacuuming sucks Ma
Fishiewoo [4:12 P.M.]: aw geez,I shoulda seen that one coming,you're just like your Dad ;o')
-----
And I still didn't vacumm,and odds are I won't get to it today.That's ok,it can keep the laundry company,I gots me some practicing to do :o)
Wednesday, September 10
Sharp as a Tack !
Dichotomy:
-Division into two mutually exclusive,opposed,or contradictory groups.
Another favorite word of mine.Dichotomies are always good for a few yuks.Today,I heard a grand dichotomy.I was leaving my work area,and the song "Don't you Love her Madly" was playing on the radio.This is the ringtone Steve has on his cell for me,so I always notice when it's playing.I walked into another area,and from another radio heard "PUT YOUR HANDS UP !!! PRAISE JESUS !!! "It about stopped me dead in my tracks,I was still trying to process being yelled at to put up my hands.I did keep walking though :O) On the way back,oh,what a lovely thing....a drop-dead gorgeous A capella recording of "Just a closer walk with Thee",-the harmony was so tight it would have given you goosebumps.[I just spent 15 minutes looking thru youtube for anything close,and there's nothing there,I'm talking vocal quartet in a blues country-choir style]So,by opening a door and walking 20 feet,I can go from The Doors to conservative Christian radio :O) I *like* that! :O) If you had heard some of the questions I was asked [by the president of the company,you'd think he'd know better]during the interview process,well,Steve and I were belly laughing at some of them.I still have not shown my drivers license or my s.s.card !!! But...any workplace,where so many different lifestyles are happily accomodated,that's where I want to be.[Plus,I like them,they like me and I'm "sharp as a tack" :O)] [Yeah,I'm so sharp I can't find a pic...that *I* scanned into the puter,burned to disk,and uploaded to my laptop...ANYwhere.I KNOW it's here,it taunts me by showing up on the photo screen saver I run.I looked in all the pics, in documents,and even in pics saved from e-mail,sometimes the pics like to take a vacation.NO dice,I can't find it anywhere.Oh Yeah.Sharp as a tack,OK :O)
-Division into two mutually exclusive,opposed,or contradictory groups.
Another favorite word of mine.Dichotomies are always good for a few yuks.Today,I heard a grand dichotomy.I was leaving my work area,and the song "Don't you Love her Madly" was playing on the radio.This is the ringtone Steve has on his cell for me,so I always notice when it's playing.I walked into another area,and from another radio heard "PUT YOUR HANDS UP !!! PRAISE JESUS !!! "It about stopped me dead in my tracks,I was still trying to process being yelled at to put up my hands.I did keep walking though :O) On the way back,oh,what a lovely thing....a drop-dead gorgeous A capella recording of "Just a closer walk with Thee",-the harmony was so tight it would have given you goosebumps.[I just spent 15 minutes looking thru youtube for anything close,and there's nothing there,I'm talking vocal quartet in a blues country-choir style]So,by opening a door and walking 20 feet,I can go from The Doors to conservative Christian radio :O) I *like* that! :O) If you had heard some of the questions I was asked [by the president of the company,you'd think he'd know better]during the interview process,well,Steve and I were belly laughing at some of them.I still have not shown my drivers license or my s.s.card !!! But...any workplace,where so many different lifestyles are happily accomodated,that's where I want to be.[Plus,I like them,they like me and I'm "sharp as a tack" :O)] [Yeah,I'm so sharp I can't find a pic...that *I* scanned into the puter,burned to disk,and uploaded to my laptop...ANYwhere.I KNOW it's here,it taunts me by showing up on the photo screen saver I run.I looked in all the pics, in documents,and even in pics saved from e-mail,sometimes the pics like to take a vacation.NO dice,I can't find it anywhere.Oh Yeah.Sharp as a tack,OK :O)
Tuesday, September 9
Lionroo !
I didn't realize it was quarter to seven already,I got sidetracked IMing with a friend.I also got "pinking of you" nail polish on the touchpad of my puter [not that I ever use the touchpad,it's too slow,-I went and bought a mouse the very first day I got the laptop .]
I appear to have created a new record on KF,[kf=kitchen frugality,an aol message board I hang out on]one I am rightly proud of....I posted the same meal to WFD [what's for dinner] 3 nights in a row and never actually cooked it! I'm such a liar !! I think I'll post it again tomorrow,seeing as I might actually really cook it then :o)
Gotta say:
CONGRATULATIONS TINA !!!!!
There was a problem with the funding for college,and she straightened it out.YAY YAY honey,we are so proud of you!!!!!!
And finally,a friend sent me an e-mail full of photoshopped animal pictures,it blew me away.I fool around with photoshop elements,and understand the fine hand it took to create those pics.Here's my favorite of the bunch:
OK,there was one more I really liked:
Monday, September 8
My apologies
I had planned to blog something that happened to me today.I decided against it,because it included me telling a bunch of puerile,sexist,neanderthal,mouth-breathing,knuckle-dragging,porcine asshat men to shut the fuck up.In a very public setting.And they wholeheartedly deserved it.And they knew it.If my daughter was with me she would have been proud.[Actually, if my daughter had been there and heard them,I would have killed them.]But I'm not proud of it at all.I'm just tired.I know,I know,this isn't heaven,it takes all kinds,yada-yada-yada,I can type platitudes til the cows come home,shower,change for dinner and a movie,have a fine bistro dinner,see the movie,come home and have a nightcap,but it doesn't change just how tired this makes me.And once again,I am SO thankful to be married to a real man,and not a dick [my apologies to dicks everywhere]and to have 2 excellent young men as sons.And my men,as well as most of the men of my acquaintance know better than to say and do things in public in front of a lady......and,even as I typed that,I'm laughing,what kind of lady yells out "shut the fuck up" in public? A lady who has to school some ignoramuses,that's who.And I'm just the woman to do it.But its tiring.And sad.You all have a good night,I have some men I need to hug.
Sunday, September 7
Whoopsie !
I knew my time would come!!! In my local paper today,I read about a new trend...Frosting shots:
http://recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080907/LIFE/809070318
Steve and I really sync up on the cake/icing issue.I steal his icing,he steals my cake,and we're both happy. I have never seen frosting served all on it's lonesome before,and now it's the latest trend!
Also,some sad news,but all my fault...[sit down,T ]I closed the kitchen window right on the flower stalk of my amaryllis,snapping it cleanly off.For those of you who know amaryllis,there is no hope for that flower.It may throw another stalk,and in any case,I'll let it continue to grow,so it can store energy for next year.It's 18 inches tall now :/ If I do get a secondary off of it,you'll be the first to know :o) On a side note,one of my online friends,reading about the amaryllis,sent me hers.She [read:her cats] do not like it,so I adopted it.TYVM,Marie,it's here,a little worse for wear,but I'll take good care of it.[don't tell me what color it is,I like to be surprized :O)]I also bought one off of eBay....a red,like the one I have,and am waiting for it right now,so I'll have 3.That might not sound like a lot,but these things get huge.I think I'll put them in the bathroom,Steve already calls it the Jungle,so he probably won't notice a few more plants in there [and if he does I'll bake him a cake ;o)
We read with a lot of interest,plans the town has to build up our town ,we are a hamlet of a bigger town.Todays' paper sez the town is allowing homes to be built here.Only problem is,the only land they could build on is literally swamp land.We are a town of.....OMG....I know everyone in this town by name or face or both.I'd say we have a lil shy of 100 residents.I Googled my town,in the interest of giving you facts,and Google says we have over 10,000 ! Not if you're not including the deer,bear rabbit and squirrel population! We're so small,they keep confusing us with a town in N.C,and a town on Staten Island.Oh,and look at that! The street we've lived on for more than 18 years is actually part of the bigger town,it moved 10 miles and no one told us! Wow,that's bigger than frosting shots !! :o)
http://recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080907/LIFE/809070318
Steve and I really sync up on the cake/icing issue.I steal his icing,he steals my cake,and we're both happy. I have never seen frosting served all on it's lonesome before,and now it's the latest trend!
Also,some sad news,but all my fault...[sit down,T ]I closed the kitchen window right on the flower stalk of my amaryllis,snapping it cleanly off.For those of you who know amaryllis,there is no hope for that flower.It may throw another stalk,and in any case,I'll let it continue to grow,so it can store energy for next year.It's 18 inches tall now :/ If I do get a secondary off of it,you'll be the first to know :o) On a side note,one of my online friends,reading about the amaryllis,sent me hers.She [read:her cats] do not like it,so I adopted it.TYVM,Marie,it's here,a little worse for wear,but I'll take good care of it.[don't tell me what color it is,I like to be surprized :O)]I also bought one off of eBay....a red,like the one I have,and am waiting for it right now,so I'll have 3.That might not sound like a lot,but these things get huge.I think I'll put them in the bathroom,Steve already calls it the Jungle,so he probably won't notice a few more plants in there [and if he does I'll bake him a cake ;o)
We read with a lot of interest,plans the town has to build up our town ,we are a hamlet of a bigger town.Todays' paper sez the town is allowing homes to be built here.Only problem is,the only land they could build on is literally swamp land.We are a town of.....OMG....I know everyone in this town by name or face or both.I'd say we have a lil shy of 100 residents.I Googled my town,in the interest of giving you facts,and Google says we have over 10,000 ! Not if you're not including the deer,bear rabbit and squirrel population! We're so small,they keep confusing us with a town in N.C,and a town on Staten Island.Oh,and look at that! The street we've lived on for more than 18 years is actually part of the bigger town,it moved 10 miles and no one told us! Wow,that's bigger than frosting shots !! :o)
Saturday, September 6
Do De Duck
Just wanted to blog this.Totally g-rated.And quite catchy :o) A personal favorite:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fc5T06SsnkA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fc5T06SsnkA
Friday, September 5
.
I have a great life.
I love my Husband,he is the best.
I love my Kids,they are the best.
As far as the job goes.
For my sins,it is mine.
The people are very nice.
I need to go play for a while.
I love my Husband,he is the best.
I love my Kids,they are the best.
As far as the job goes.
For my sins,it is mine.
The people are very nice.
I need to go play for a while.
Wednesday, September 3
I got Goo babe
I wasn't gonna say anything,because I still don't know if I *have* the job yet...but I go in on fri,so they can test my aptitude,and see if I can do the job.So,there's a chance [and not a small one] that I'm an ass and won't do it well.There,I outted myself.I never saw myself at this age getting the willies over a job,but there ya go.I didn't realize it would be that technically challenging,if you hear a guy yelling at me to stop,stop,for the love of God stop on fri.,then you'll know how the story ended.
So much for being virtuous.I washed and waxed the floors yesterday...honest injun,I know that's hard to believe.Next door gave me this HUGE bottle of kikkoman teriyaki [it was from BJ's,so you can imagine how big itis was.]I used it on chix breast on sun and threw the rest of the bottle in the fridge...do you see the perfect storm brewing?Well,I didn't either.]
[a HUGE aside here.I took Latin in high school,and fell in love with a word:
Defenestrate
which means:
a throwing of a person or thing out of a window
So I was going to blog that the teriyaki defenestrated itself,but that wouldn't have been right.Yes,I think of stupid crap like that.But just the same,I wanted to introduce you to one of my favorite words.Fast forward down the years, I had each of my kids take Latin.One by one,My lovely kids would come to me and use the word,and wait to see if I knew what it meant.I LOVED that :o) back to my tale of woe :]
I tried to stuff a gallon of o.j in the fridge,and the damn teriyaki jumped out of the fridge,and broke it's cap,spilling all over the floor and ruining my leopard print sandals. [I have to wonder if Steve set that up,he hated those puppies]I'm telling you this for 2 reasons:
1) So you don't make the mistake of waxing your floor after accepting a trojan gift of teriyaki. Teriyaki picks up fresh wax and leaves a gooey,viscous thing behind.Like that 50's movie ,The Blob.Only not as cute.And Definitely stinkier.
2)Second, the second you are offered,out of the blue,a huge bottle of teriyaki,lock your favorite-but-everyone-else-hates-them sandals in a closet until the teriyaki kills itself....and it will.Leave the floor dirty,and tell everyone *I* said so.Just don't tell 'em where to find me.Or I'll defenestrate you [you KNEW I'd have to use my word on you :o)]
So much for being virtuous.I washed and waxed the floors yesterday...honest injun,I know that's hard to believe.Next door gave me this HUGE bottle of kikkoman teriyaki [it was from BJ's,so you can imagine how big it
[a HUGE aside here.I took Latin in high school,and fell in love with a word:
Defenestrate
which means:
a throwing of a person or thing out of a window
So I was going to blog that the teriyaki defenestrated itself,but that wouldn't have been right.Yes,I think of stupid crap like that.But just the same,I wanted to introduce you to one of my favorite words.Fast forward down the years, I had each of my kids take Latin.One by one,My lovely kids would come to me and use the word,and wait to see if I knew what it meant.I LOVED that :o) back to my tale of woe :]
I tried to stuff a gallon of o.j in the fridge,and the damn teriyaki jumped out of the fridge,and broke it's cap,spilling all over the floor and ruining my leopard print sandals. [I have to wonder if Steve set that up,he hated those puppies]I'm telling you this for 2 reasons:
1) So you don't make the mistake of waxing your floor after accepting a trojan gift of teriyaki. Teriyaki picks up fresh wax and leaves a gooey,viscous thing behind.Like that 50's movie ,The Blob.Only not as cute.And Definitely stinkier.
2)Second, the second you are offered,out of the blue,a huge bottle of teriyaki,lock your favorite-but-everyone-else-hates-them sandals in a closet until the teriyaki kills itself....and it will.Leave the floor dirty,and tell everyone *I* said so.Just don't tell 'em where to find me.Or I'll defenestrate you [you KNEW I'd have to use my word on you :o)]
Tuesday, September 2
Sweet,Sweet,Chocolate !
I went to BJ's today for a few things.Got to the door,where they check your receipt against what's in the cart,and the door person was someone I like,so I stopped to talk to her.She looked in my cart and burst out laughing,asking me if it was a bad one :o) Of course,she was referring to the tampons and the huge bag of chocolate minis I bought.I don't get a sweet tooth a lot,but when it hits,it better get taken care of :O) :O) Now,all my friends on kf and all irls know,if you come to my house and go in the big freezer,you'll find at least one big veggie bag hiding my chocolate stash..It usually is an organic broccoli bag,but Tony caught me out cause he will eat broccoli,so now it's the mixed veggies bag,...no one actually will eat them on their own,only if I serve them at dinner,-my stash is safe .Only a woman would notice the connection between those items in the cart,she had me lol'in.
We just got back from Joisey,we had to turn in our old cable boxes and get the hd ones.YAY!So,I will go and be supportive again [he doesn't need any help,I just provide yuks and the flashlight beam :o)] [and sur-PRIZE,there's a bottle of merlot in the hutch,Steve got it for Christmas from someone at work! Chocolate and wine,works better than midol ANY old day :o) Happy Happy [Oh,and I'll tell you a secret...EVERY EVERY time I try to uncork a bottle of wine,I get cork in it.I usually make Steve open the bottle,so NOW I have to go be nice so he will :o) THIS is why God invented wine boxes!]
Monday, September 1
It's a family affair
[A preface:now T,NO hookin up family to this,OK! Well,J is ok,but that's it!!!]
I've mentioned we host Thanksgiving and Christmas at our home.Now,for most of the people that come,we can't wait to see them,and feel bad when they leave.BUT...there is always one that,well,leaves you panting for a drink when the day is done,you dig? It would be someone who doesn't get an "I didn't vote" joke? So,in speaking with my loopie sisters,I decided that I need to start a new fashion trend.I'm sure you've all seen beer hats,yes? A helmet-type of thing,with 2 cans of beer,and a hose from them,so you have hands-free imbibing.Well,I am going to introduce a merlot hat.Only I'll buy a BOX of the stuff,strap it on my head with a seat belt strap,cover it with one of those floppy-hippie hats, and hot glue flowers all over it for that "Minnie-Pearl" vibe.I'll wear that sucker all day,and I won't hear ONE [fill in the blank with something you REALLY don't want to hear from a relative at a family gathering]thing.Oh yes,people will line UP for a chance to get one.Only I'll beat them off,it's MINE dammit![and yet another thing I'll have to edit to be sure that family member doesn't see it :O)]
Oh,Oh,Oh...I was just talking to Steve,and it appeared to me that he didn't hear one word I said,so in the same conversational tone of voice I said "Thank You very f-ing much for listening to me you Ass",and out of his fog, HE said...Thank You !!!! Oh,I'm done posting for now,I need to go beat someone up :o) :o) :O) God he's fun :O)
I've mentioned we host Thanksgiving and Christmas at our home.Now,for most of the people that come,we can't wait to see them,and feel bad when they leave.BUT...there is always one that,well,leaves you panting for a drink when the day is done,you dig? It would be someone who doesn't get an "I didn't vote" joke? So,in speaking with my loopie sisters,I decided that I need to start a new fashion trend.I'm sure you've all seen beer hats,yes? A helmet-type of thing,with 2 cans of beer,and a hose from them,so you have hands-free imbibing.Well,I am going to introduce a merlot hat.Only I'll buy a BOX of the stuff,strap it on my head with a seat belt strap,cover it with one of those floppy-hippie hats, and hot glue flowers all over it for that "Minnie-Pearl" vibe.I'll wear that sucker all day,and I won't hear ONE [fill in the blank with something you REALLY don't want to hear from a relative at a family gathering]thing.Oh yes,people will line UP for a chance to get one.Only I'll beat them off,it's MINE dammit![and yet another thing I'll have to edit to be sure that family member doesn't see it :O)]
Oh,Oh,Oh...I was just talking to Steve,and it appeared to me that he didn't hear one word I said,so in the same conversational tone of voice I said "Thank You very f-ing much for listening to me you Ass",and out of his fog, HE said...Thank You !!!! Oh,I'm done posting for now,I need to go beat someone up :o) :o) :O) God he's fun :O)
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