Hernias for fun and profit

Had to do the shopping at ShopRite today,and I always get a talker...either the cashier or the customer behind me. Generally this is good,it helps to pass the time.Today it was both. I DREADED going to checkout,I could hear the manager calling all the cashiers back to their registers,plus one person from each department. [translate: we don't have enough cashiers,please read a magazine while you wait to checkout.].The cashier was the Mom of one of the boys Stevie went to high school with,so we were playing catch up,and I like her.The customer behind me was a bitch.You know,I deleted that word 3 times but it really fits,so it stays.She started by saying "you don't look old enough to have a 25 year old" Now,normally,that's a compliment,right? [even though both my temples are gray @@ ] My cashier was in the middle of a sentence,so I just said"thanks" and kept listening.Very loudly,bitch says "Oh no,I mean you must have been a baby yourself when you had him,how old were you? Were you married?

[A Huge aside.On our Wedding night,various family members were "wondering if I was pregnant or not"...and we HEARD them.So,we waited a year before we even considered having a baby,cause no one was going to question why we got married,or if we wanted our kids. NO ONE. So,this comment REALLY sent my hackles up.]

I said "Excuse me?" and she said "Oh accidents happen"!!!!!!! Double damn bitch! I gave her The Look [all you parents and babysitters know exactly what look that is]and wouldn't talk to her.So she continues to talk to *me*,criticizing EVERY item I put on the belt. Beef!! OMG,that will give you a heart attack !! Oh,I'd NEVER buy cup o soup [triple damn bitch,that's one of my secret vices,you leave it the hell alone!!!] yada-yada-yada,OMG,I'd HAD it,so I asked her,"Excuse me? Who appointed you God?" I thought my cashier would give herself a hernia trying not to laugh,it really could have gotten her into trouble.I wish you could have seen ze' bitches' face,I guess most people don't talk back to her. I *ain't* most people,.... don't mess with my kids OR my cup o soup!! She got that martyred air about her,like *I* was the inappropriate one.At least she shut up :o)

When I compose my little bloggings,I do it in an e-mail...someone who shall remain nameless [Steve,oh yes,we all know it's Steve] needs to get his butt in gear and buy a better wireless router.It's hysterical,when all the kids are here,one by one all of us on the wireless network lose our connection,when people start yelling it's time to save,and fast. Steve doesn't care,cause he's on the desktop and is hard-wired,so he never loses his connection.I'm *lucky* enough to usually be the last to lose,so I can save what I'm working on.If not, AOL will ask if I want to save the e-mail [offline] so I don't lose what I wrote,I can't write these things out twice,if I lose it it's gone. OK,I really am getting to the point here ! Evidently AOL updated itself behind my back [I don't allow it to auto update,I don't trust it] and all my settings are frigged up...I have to now teach the spell check,which I never use,that bitch,yada-yada-yada and bloggings are all valid words. Well,they have been blogged,so they must be :o) Oops,had to teach it blogged too :o)

Ah,....the man is home.He took tomorrow off,so this is his Friday night.Time to make a drink with an umbrella in it .[and I did get the umbrellas,Stop n shop had 'em]Woo-Hoo! :o)