OMG,Brenda told me about this,TYVM :o)
Go to your facebook page. Scroll ALL the way down to the bottom, and on the left-hand side click on "English". A box will pop up, and you will select "pirate english" . Pretty damn funny. Look around your facebook page at all the pirate speak :O)
All the municipal searches are done.The survey should be in our lawyers hands Thurs morning, and that's it. We can schedule closing.
My advice to anone who needs to practice,...a musician,and artist,an athlete,....is to buy a house. You will start practicing all the hours God gives you, to avoid thinking about it. Your adult children will tease you about it, and your husband will look at you funny, but he will understand, because YOU will have noted that the poor man haven't left ebay motors or his crown vic forums in weeks :X
YAY TEAM GAIL!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I learned a great new word this morning, and was able to use it on Boo this afternoon.You see, my poor Boo burns if she "thinks" the word sun. I don't, never did. She gets upset about it,.....she got sunburned driving home from work, and sunburned sitting near a window in a restaurant. She got that from her Daddy.Well, this was the word I learned this morning:
patrocliny / patricliny
PRONUNCIATION:(PA-truh-kli-nee)
MEANING: Inheritance of traits primarily from the father.
Whenever the kids piss me off, or they don't like a trait one of us gave them, now I have the vocabulary to blame Steve every time.Works for me.
And here, a forward I received from Donna this morning,TYVM! I think I may have seen it before,but I thought it was damn funny. ANYthing that can make me laugh before my first cup of coffee is worth remembering :o)
----
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
-------------------------------
April 28th:
-Happy Birthday Harper Lee !
A lil update. First,we are right on track...........for a May 15th closing, evidently the seller is determined to do it on their schedule, regardless of what that costs us. Oh well. We just found out we need a survey, to the tune of 795$. It's to the point where,every time we get another unexpected expense,we think we look like deer in the headlights,yanno? When we went to the credit union,we explained that we were rank newbies to this, and wanted the worst-most-expensive -case house buying scenario laid out for us...if EVERYTHING listed went wrong,then we should break even,right? OMG, there have been a few Doozies that weren't on the worksheet she gave us,we just laugh a lot about it. Also,we getting confused about which accounts are used for what things.....I have a checking account that Steve can write on,and Steve has a checking account that I can write on...we can both write checks off of each others accounts, but this way I won't subject him to my most excellent math skills :X Plus a joint saving account.That's Here.Now, where we're moving to, I have a checking he can use, and we have a joint savings,but we have to get Steve a checking account.So........Show me the money! Lets try and figure out which account the credit union will take the funds from, for the appraisal,the credit check,and the new checks-that-have-to-be-replaced-as-soon-as-we-move-dammit. Lets balance WHICH account? Where do we put Gails paycheck? Oh, it's like "Who's on Third" the Abbot and Costello skit.
OH! And you KNOW what the hell I came in here to rant about? I have never had a dishwasher, and lo and behold,I'm about to git me one. So,what should appear in my local paper-those-bastids-must-know-I'm-getting-one?
[g-rated,a link to the story]
and the upshot? Now I will be killing my family with pollution if I get a dishwasher? WTH?????? A LOT of my friends have told me,the hell with it,they love theirs and won't give them up.And there IS a window right by the dishwasher in the Love Shack.......
Today , a guy Steve worked with told him,we need to get a bottle of really good champagne,and a loaf of the best bread we can find,and sit on the floor in the Love Shack and eat and drink,to bless the place.I think that is the nicest thing I have heard, and that is just what we'll do. Whenever we can close.Which looks,right now, that it might be next year sometime :X
My, my, my.
Let's talk about yesterdays' bloggie.
Let me be VERY clear. I am not judging ANYone for how they run their lives, or their marriages.
As we had our children and raised them, it was up to us to present information on lifestyles different than our own, different than what Steve and I modeled for them. If I had to talk about being in a subservient relationship, for example, to my daughter OR my sons, I would tell them that it stunts your own personal growth. It prevents a true union, the joining of two hearts and minds and souls, because one part of the equation will ALWAYS carry more weight than the other. Any of you marrieds, you know, sometimes you give and sometimes you take, but in the long run it balances out. There IS no balance in a subservient relationship. Someone who ALWAYS defers to someone else in a relationship is not a person in full. That's more like a Boss/employee relationship than a marriage.
So, that type of relationship is not something I would want for my kids.
However.
If you are an adult, and you Choose to have that type of relationship, I am not going to say you are wrong or judge you for that.
Just like I wouldn't judge someone because of their religion, or skin color, or sexual preferences.
Do you see the difference? That blogger judged ME, for not living my life the same way she does. I am not going to judge her. Pity her, yes. She's missing out on a lot. Yes, I did call her opinion bullshit. Because it is :X but I did not say she was wrong for living her life the way she wants to. Just don't be hatin' on me and trying to force your lifestyle on me.
Oh, and trust me, Steve loves me just the way I am. If I became subservient, he'd take me to the emergency room, thinking I'd suffered a head injury.
I think that about covers everything. If it didn't, I'm sure I'll hear about it :o)
Sunday.
One thing I love about about Sunday morning, is the newspaper. With a lovely big mug of coffee. And the leisure to enjoy them, without the running around that's necessary during the week. I always read the best-sellers list, to make sure I'm not missing the newest from a favorite author. And what should I see this morning, on the "How-To, Misc." list but a book titled " Look like a Woman, Think like a Man". Holy Mary,Mother of God, WTH????? That stopped me right in my tracks, I had to re-read it to make sure I wasn't mistaken. And I wasn't.
I am 48. I was a kid when Billy Jean King and Bobby Riggs faced off, supposedly to determine if men were better than women, or visa-versa. In high school, and in college, during visits to Washington D.C, one of the most popular touristy T-shirts was "A womans place is in the house....and the Senate". Plus, I'm number 6 of 8 kids, born to older parents who thought the sun rose and set on the boys, and the girls...well, we could do the dishes. So, I am no stranger to this type of misogynist drivel, but I thought it became extinct, or was surely on it's way. Then I saw the title of that book.
I already look like a woman. I love girly-girl stuff, right down to my pink sneakers, and I make no bones about it, that is who I am. I would like to know, what in the HELL is wrong with thinking like a woman? I am not kidding, Steve and my kids have told me I have more balls than some men they know. If a man is being described, it's called strength. Or Doing the right thing. Or standing up for yourself. Describe a woman, and she has balls. And I am not a womans' libber, either. I think I'm right in the middle, where most women are.
Now don't get me wrong, I love men, hell, I married one :X I tease my men all the time about their foibles, and my men are wise enough not to mention mine. Men and women are just Different. For too many years, maybe even still, it's considered un-pc to say that, but it's true. Men aren't held hostage to their bodies the way women are, and we have different perspectives, that's all. It doesn't mean a woman has to be subservient to a man. That's being a child, not a partner or a mate. I am Steves' equal, what's that old phrase? I walk beside him, not behind him? Except when I'm afraid, then I hide behind him. Or when he pisses me off,then I'm in front of him shaking a finger in his face, hehehe.
I actually had another blogger, in all earnestness and apparent honesty, explain to me in exquisite detail why she couldn't read my blog....because I wasn't Christian enough. *Her* idea of Christianity is to be subservient to her husband, no matter what. He rules the house, she Yessirs him, and that's that. I was stunned and hurt, and I wondered what Stepford Wives handbook she took THAT bullshit out of. I wondered if her husband feels the need to have someone to lean on every once in a while, where does HE go? Who does he talk to about decisions concerning their family? Maybe I'm just a stupid woman, but I can't imagine having to be the leader, the strong one, all the time. I certainly don't know where I'd bury the brain or the heart God gave me, if I couldn't speak my piece. And, unless I agreed with him, if I ever "Yessir'ed" Steve, he'd die laughing. So there's one book on the bestsellers list I won't bother putting a hold on at the library. I guess I'll go do a search for a book on how to train my men to leave the lid down. And I hope that dumb ass author gets his 15 minutes of fame and goes back to his day job.
April 19th:
-National Hanging Out Day
~Women's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Loved it, the you tube of the moment. You can watch the whole thing,instead of a blurb on the morning news:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z0h1NNk1Ik&feature=related
I don't know if you've ever moved. Even if you haven't, you can pretty much guess what it's like. We've been here 19 years, and I am in the process of preparing to move. So that you can see how organized and efficient I am, I figured I'd bloggie about the actions I've taken thus far:
-Practiced for more than an hour every day.
-Played with my plants, the african violets are blooming like crazy
-Developed a whole new appreciation for the video game MegaBomberMan. [sega genesis platform, old school style]
-Been online with my loopies, and at Pogo.
-Read 2 really good books, and one so-so book.
-Took down my wall art from the kitchen, cleaned it, put it on my diningroom chair. And I have to move it every night at dinner time.
-Cried some. Not big boo-hoos, just a slow leak.
Do you see the words box, bubble wrap, or tape anywhere there? No? Well, neither do I. Now,THAT is talent. Oh, wait, no it's not. It's Denial.
I believe in my profile, I mentioned that there are 3 aol message boards that I have posted to for more than ten years. On one of them..Kitchen Frugality....... we had a disturbing occurrence this morning. Someone posted a list of some of the members of kf [I was on the list] and used their real names and home addresses. The user name, upon a google search,revealed that the poster is a long term, what word am I looking for? Not troll, they don't go this far, there is a line even a damn troll won't cross. Psycho? Shithead? Freak?
I was shocked....not so much disturbed, as everyone on that board knows my real name and addy. Some of us take turns,when a member needs support, collecting donations for a gift , or cards, from all the board members, and then send them on to the recipient, and I've done that. Some people, though,were freaked out, cause they had NO IDEA how that poster got their real identity. Some of the info was out of date, or inaccurate, but for the most part, accurate.
It's given me a lot of food for thought today.When we first got on the net, OMG, it was anathema to give your real name, let alone your address. Over the past 11 years, I have made very close friends who have not only my home address, but my phone and cell phone numbers, and their own ring tones. And one friend met online, an attorney, became the closing attorney for the Love Shack,THAT is a close trusted friend. So the line between the off line and online personas has blurred so much in some cases, as to be non-existant. I can't imagine how someone with a professional profile online can maintain any anonimity. And you know what made me laugh right out loud, and got me some funny looks at work? Here I sit, with my bloggie. If you read here at all, you know so much about me, from when I have cramps to what I sound like at 3:05am when I post while suffering from insomnia! You know where my chocolate stash is,and that the vacuum and I hate each other....and the refrigerator is out to get me. Poor Steve, you know the man can't put away the shaving cream to save his soul from the debbil! You've met my Cello teacher, my Mentors, my Friends, my Children, you've seen The Love Shack hehehe ! And some of my poor boardmates are fashed about their names and addresses bring online! I do feel for them, I remember when I decided to do the collecting for the first time,realizing what I was putting out there. But I believed then, and still believe, that it needed to be done and I was just the woman to do it.
I have to wonder about the person who posted that info on the board though. I have said, I grew up hard. I wonder how hard that person must have grown up, to be so warped, so unconcerned about other peoples feelings, that they could stoop that low. But *I* am not going to allow a freak to change me.
[It's 5:30 pm on Friday as I write this. It's 70 degrees, and I can see daffodils, budding trees, and bugs flying around outside. Spring has sprung! ]
April 17th
-Ford Mustang Day
-BlahBlahBlah Day
~When I'm holding all the cards, why does everyone else turn out to be playing chess?~
Steve had his 6 month visit with the endo this evening [for the brain tumor, Jesus I hate those words] and he just called, all his tests are spot on, no med adjustments, the Dr shook his hand and told him to "get the hell outta here" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DREAD these visits, if something is wrong at test time, then you know bad shit is gonna follow the visit, I sit on pins and needles until it's over. Everything was beautiful!!! And, the Love Shack got appraised this morning, and we are aiming for an end of April closure. A VERY VERY fine day! YAY!
I want to say, Sorry! When I put the game on this blog page, it was silent. Recently, an audio ad started playing when my blog page was opened. I didn't know, because I generally have the volume at zero. [I know, hard to believe, but I only blast music] Yesterday I heard the ad, discovered that the game was the source, and removed it from this blog. [note to the people who have said they LIKE that game.....I have chosen "Simon" the memory game, for you. This will prove you are just as crazy as I am] Please be sure to Tell me if you hear ads on this blog, I HATE that and would never allow it.
I enjoy taking those little quizlets.They try very hard to say 99% good about you in the results, so you'll keep taking the quizlets, and 1% bad so you'll believe the answers, hehehe. I took a car quiz at Facebook [de debbil] and got quite the surprize answer:
Gail took the What Car fits you the best? quiz and the result is BMW M3
Speed, Class and Power. This is how your ideal Car should be. Everybody watch out cause here you come
I laughed right out loud at that one. I am a truck driver, I want my suv, and ain't nobody taking it away from me. There's no WAY you're gonna fit a lot of mulch, or groceries for my crew, or a BJ's pack of paper towels in that itty-bitty little car. And if I had a sports car, I'd never get to drive it anyway, Steve would always find a reason to go beat on it. Speaking of that fink, do you KNOW what he did? We went shopping, and Steve "forgot" his wallet. You may be thinking hehehe, he gotcha Gail, right? Well, Gail had the last laugh. You see, Steve is an car control freak. Out of respect to him, when we go places together, he drives. So he is not used to being in the passenger seat, let alone MY passenger seat. That forgotten wallet, left at home along with his drivers license, only bought him one thing,....a ride home with me behind the wheel and my cow seat covers under his ass. 3 fake heart attacks later, we got home :X Woo-Boy, he'll never do THAT again! It's ok for HIM to floor it to pass [and he has a mighty powerful car, not a truck....even though my truck has a V8 in it, it's pokey compared to his car] but just let ME do it, and comes home and tells the guys "OMG she floored it here and she floored it there, and she corners so fast" My ASS ! I was only doing 20 on our road! Now, I KNOW the computer that tells me my MPG lies like a flea bitten dog, but the speedometer does not lie! [I hope] And, why the hell would he buy me a v8 and not expect me to use it? Hope he forgets his wallet again sometime soon.
April 15th
-Get A Different Name Day
-That Sucks Day
~Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.~
Trust me, you will see more "Before and Afters" than you ever thought possible.
I have been told, fences make good neighbors. I don't like fences too much though, so I am making a living wall down each side of the property line. Probably forsythia, I LOVE forsythia, and they are easy to keep tidy. Also, the former owners planted lil trees and shrubs that were too big around most of the foundation, it will be my job to rip them all out and plant with something more suitable to right up against the house. I can't believe *I* have to kill plants, but there ya go. My hostas and wild baby irises will have plenty of places to hang out.
You wanna hear funny? Every time I think about everything we need to do, my mind goes right to the painting and planting, it skips right over the paperwork and worry and closing and moving. I had my checkup with my Dr. on Thursday, and my blood pressure was the lowest it has ever been! Evidently my blood pressure took a lesson from my brain, I wonder how much more of me is in denial, hehehe.
I still can't figure out how to save a voice mail message from my answering machine, to a .wav file I can keep. I was at work when the word came in that our offer was accepted, so Steve left a message on the home machine, knowing I check that the minute I walk in. His voice sounded the way it did on so few occasions,.....on our wedding day, calling people to tell them we had a child, and now to let me know our offer was accepted. It makes me cry to listen to it, I have to find a way to save it before the damn machine fills up and auto-deletes. Yeah, I know, just about every bloggie lately has me in tears. Steve and the kids tease me about it a lot, and I am afraid to talk about the house in public, I will not cry in public, so I might explode instead. Attention maintenance, Clean-up in aisle 3, Gail was talking to a neighbor about the Love Shack :X
Oh Shit! Tony just called,he's on his way home,he had an accident at work. He was lifting a box of brake shoes off a shelf, and the damn bottom gave way, the brake shoes fell on his foot...his bad foot with the Big Toe from Hell on it [years ago...he broke that toe badly.The nail was jammed back into the toe, and got ingrown a few times, necessitating painful surgery each time it became ingrown. He is Terrified of injuring that toe, and I don't blame him in the least]
April 13th [we are almost halfway thru April already!!]
-Blame Somebody Else Day
~You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. ~
Today is Steves' Birthday, and he will have a great time. I will SEE to that :) Since we're on a tight budget,he told me to ONLY GET HIM ONE GIFT. So I did.I got him a Spiderman [his favorite superhero :o)] gift bag.........one bag. And put his gifts in there :O)
Today we got the contract to buy the house! It's gettin' real, just like the money leaving our accounts.Sweet Baby Jesus! You know, we WENT to our broker and said,we need a list of steps we need to take, and money we will need on top of the downpayment, so that we will be comfortable at closing time. We already have had 4 expenses the broker never mentioned, and we're gettin' a WEE bit askeered here. But that doesn't stop us from discussing a new kitchen sink and a DISHWASHER! I have never had one in our 27 years of marriage, so this old dog is gonna learn some fun new tricks.
I didn't know what to expect at a home inspection, but I certainly wasn't expecting George! Our house inspector was a great, talkative guy, he answered questions that hadn't been asked yet. Steve and I both feel a weight off our backs, we were so scared that the inspection would turn up a fatal flaw, but for the life of us we couldn't see one......that's because there wasn't one :o) The Love Shack came thru with flying colors.
We could not be happier, or more satisfied with the inspection. The house got gone over top to bottom, and the verdict was, it is extremely well built and solid, and we are lucky. The insector was genuinely happy for us. I think we're a shock to people, first time buyers at our age, and they really want to see us get our Love Shack. The dishwasher let loose all over the place,we knew we'd need a new one anyway [who am *I* kidding, I have never had a dishwasher that wasn't human] and that was the worst thing that happened.YAY Team Gail!!!!! The report listed "people present at inspection":
Buyer Husband
Buyer Wife
Buyer Children
Buyer R.E Agent
That just struck me as funny, like an invitation list for a party....and party we did, we brought donuts, and had a fine time :o) All the kids were they, and they approve... you may think that doesn't matter ,but it does to us. We trust them to trust their guts just like we trust ours, and if one of them had serious reservations about it, we would listen to them. Boo kept finding religious medallions in the garage, so that was a sign from God for me:
Here is where your hostas will land. You're never gonna love vacuuming, so he giveth you hard wood floors to swiffer your way around! Even God thinks laundry might be from de debbil, so he put-eth the chest freezer right by the washer and dryer, so thou mayest visit thy stash in the mixed veggie bag [note to self: thy stash is low, taketh advantage of the Easter candy sales and stocketh upeth already] Thou art also release-ed from the one hour a day post office, they will deliver unto you all thy mail! AND packages! Thou art a lucky lucky woman!
Also, this week stupid assinine aol cancelled almost all of its message boards, with NO notice to it's customers,..........hell, the U.K aol customers at least got warning. So,Shirla and I have made a board for all our friends on the message boards. I wish I could show you the letter I wrote to some of the aol mucky-mucks, it included casting aspersions on their lineage, in the form of a trained chimp, after you got done laughing, you would have been proud of me!
April 5th:
-Go For Broke Day
~God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die.~
Well, as you can imagine, the stress level around here is pretty high. It doesn't help that Steve is working a LOT of extra hours, due to one of his guys still being out on workmans comp, with no friggin return in sight. It's the biggest hardship at his work I've ever seen, nobody gets a day off, and it's not pretty. Plus, I overheard something at my work that I don't think I was meant to overhear. In effect, I need to work more hours or they will let me go and hire someone who will. Now, first off, the owner was ADAMANT that I remember I was a part time hire when I was hired, and repeated that a lot. I should NOT expect to get more hours. And I WANTED, and still want, a part time job. He is now ADAMANT that I cough up more hours. I am complimented, I appear to have a real affinity for the job, you either have it or you don't. I'm the dark horse. Since 2 people left, he wants me, the quantity he knows, rather than a new hire who may or may not be able to do the job. After our move, I'm expected to work a few hours short of full time. Oh, and my commute will change from 4 minutes 30 seconds to 45 minutes or more. yay. BUT WAIT...THERE'S MORE !! And it's GOOD NEWS !!
Tomorrow is the house inspection, and we can't wait, that's the Big Nut, the one unknown. A Lot of people waiting to hear if the Love Shack is healthy, it damn well better be, or I'll kick it's ass. All the kids want to come and see the inspection. That made me so happy...Tony will be the only one living at home, but Boo and Stevie want to see where they'll be staying when they feel like it :o) And of course, they need to make sure my laundry facilities are adequate :X Happy and scared to death all at once.
Steve and I were talking, this is one of the biggest things we've ever done, and we ought to be so happy and excited right now, but it's all we can do to keep on keepin' on. No sleep and bad work tends to do that to you, but to both of us at the same time,.................well,...........................lets' say, it sucks AND blows at the same time, therefore breaking all known laws of Physics. Now, THAT is Special. You have the dubious honor of knowing a law-breaking couple :X
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww...Steve just called. He told me has has a lot of boxes and other stuff for packing that he's bringing home. I told him,it almost sounds real! And he said, oh YES honey we are OUT of there! So now happy and weepy again dear sweet Jesus, the slow leak better stop ! :)
April 3rd:
~There came a time when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -Anais Nin ~
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| You Would Be Voted Most Likely to Be Remembered |
 You did whatever you wanted, and you never tried to fit in. And while some people found you strange, they still liked you. You're very unique, and no one could forget you! |
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