~“The Blog That Watches Back”~

Sunday, April 25

This and That

I need
-A 5 minute delay "Are you SURE, Lady?" button on the dishwasher, for when you just hit start, and people bring in more dishes that COULD have gone in there, but now YOU have to wash them. Happens all the time..

-A taser or stun gun, or club, or SOMETHING that I can use on the person who gets behind me in a grocery store line, and starts sighing over the size of my order. Listen, they have quick checks, self-checks, and express lanes. Don't get behind me on a regular lane with a playboy and a big bottle of hand lotion and expect ME to apologize. Putz.

-Something better than my middle finger, to express my dismay at the dismal driving skills of some drivers. Last time I looked Stop" means "STOP", not don't look/don't tell and roll right in front of me. And then proceed to do 20 in a 45. While my grocery order is thawing in the back of the truck. Almost all the time, I can ignore this type of stupidity...considering that the wonderful GPS people haven't gotten around to mapping our re-done area roads yet, you have to be prepared to be cut off at a moments notice, by people THINKING they'd be making a right onto a ramp, and discovering in less than a quarter mile they'll need to make a left at a light. I feel bad for them. But not for the intentional assholes.

......SOMEWHERE, where I can swing something like a bat or a cudgel at something, and a member of the government that made these tax laws gets hurt. You know, like Whack-A-Mole? I don't care which one, just that one of them pays for this utter stupidity. Don't even get me STARTED this year, this should be a HONKIN return for us. Nope.

My cello [you'll note I didn't call her Ruby, when she's a bitch she is just "my cello"] has developed some anti-social tendencies I HATE. I had to replace the bridge, and it has a much higher profile than the one that came with the cello....and the one I ordered is a "low".....so short of finding a way to shave the sucker myself, I am stuck with this bridge. It totally changes the sound of Ruby. I am struggling to play the harmonics, and simply the act of playing is more difficult, as the strings ride higher over the fingerboard than they used to. I also think my A string is possessed, it is biting down into this bridge the same way it bit so badly into the other bridge I had to replace it. Think it's time to ditch that A string too. [I might just rebuild the area under the A string on the old bridge and switch it back, Ruby sounds like she's strangling, and I HATE it.

Now the good stuff.....
I am really happy to say, it looks like Steves sciatica is finally easing up. The poor guy has been attacked by it, night and day, for over 2 months. It's been writing on the slate of who he is.....he is very active at home on the weekends, and hasn't been able to do anything. Yesterday he spent 3 hours outside, and when he came in he looked 10 years younger, I could SEE the sciatica leaving his face. YAY Honey!!

OH YEAH!!! You've seen the commercials for the brownie pan...you pour the batter in, put into the pan what looks like the divider in an old metal ice cube tray, and bake. You're supposed to wind up with beautiful lil separate brownies. I got one to play with. My main application for it would be baking cornbread for the big holiday do's and freezing it ahead of service, I just don't like store bought corn bread as much as home made, and I'm kinda fond of the people who show up, and want them to have the good stuff.

But back to the baking dish. I didn't want to make brownies, so I settled on Angel Food cake squares, I'd already macerated the strawberries for it. The instruction guide said, if you're making cake, to plan on the same amount of batter you'd use in a 13x9 pan....one box. So that's what I did. It looked a bit full, so I saved back enough batter to make 9 angel food cupcakes with. Put it in the oven.
Think, I Love Lucy and the endless loaf of bread. That sucker puffed up like an Adder in a room full of Meerkats, I just had to laugh. By the end of the baking time, you couldn't see the grid for the cake puffed up all over the place. Pretty damn funny, and I promise the next time I screw up with it, I'll get pics. I was just laughing too hard :o) But it tasted just fine. [if you get one....a half box of cake batter will do just fine.]

I love the lil sucker, and am glad I have it.And even gladder that it's dishwasher safe, I wouldn't buy it if I had to hand scrub all the little nooks and crannies in there.

And this, from my Boo. Thank You Dear, for reminding me how old I am LOL...I got 'em all right :O)
For OLDER people... MEMORY TEST!

This is NOT a pushover test.
There are 20 questions. Average score is 12.
This one will be difficult for the younger set.
Have fun, but no peeking!
Good luck, youngsters.

1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
A. Flintstones vitamins
B. The Buttmaster
C. Spaghetti
D. Wonder Bread
E.. Orange Juice
F. Milk
G. Cod Liver Oil

2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was...
A. Sugar Ray Robinson
B. Roy Orbison
C. Gene Autry
D. Rudolph Valentino
E. Fabian
F. Mickey Mantle
G. Cassius Clay

3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and...
A. It's you
B. He is us
C. It's the Grinch
D. He wasn't home
E. He's really me an
F. We quit
G. He surrendered

4. Good night David.
A.. Good night Chet
B. Sleep well
C. Good night Irene
D. Good night Gracie
E. See you later alligator
F. Until tomorrow
G. Good night Steve

5. You'll wonder where the yellow went...
A. When you use Tide
B. When you lose your crayons
C. When you clean your tub
D. If you paint the room blue
E. If you buy a soft water tank
F.. When you use Lady Clairol
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent

6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend...
A. Stuart Whitman
B. Randolph Scott
C. Steve Reeves
D. Maynard G. Krebbs
E. Corky B. Dork
F. Dave the Whale
G. Zippy Zoo

7. Liar, liar...
A. You're a liar
B. Your nose is growing
C. Pants on fire
D. Join the choir
E. Jump up higher
F.. On the wire
G. I'm telling Mom

8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and.....
A. Wheaties
B. Lois Lane
C. TV ratings
D. World peace
E. Red tights
F. The American way
G. News headlines

9. Hey kids! What time is it?
A. It's time for Yogi Bear
B It's time to do your homework
C. It's Howdy Doody Time
D. It's Time for Romper Room
E. It's bedtime
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour
G. Scoopy Doo Time

10. Lions and tigers and bears....
A. Yikes!
B. Oh no!
C. Gee whiz!
D. I'm scared!
E. Oh my!
F. Help! Help!
G. Let's run!

11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone...
A. Over 40
B. Wearing a uniform
C. Carrying a briefcase
D. Over 30
E. You don't know
F. Who says, 'Trust me'
G.. Who eats tofu

12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's stockings... .
A. Troy Aikman
B. Kenny Stabler
C. Joe Namath
D. Roger Staubach
E. Joe Montana
F. Steve Young
G. John Elway

13. Brylcream...
A. Smear it on
B. You'll smell great
C. Tame that cowlick
D. Grease ball heaven
E. It's a dream
F. We're your team
G. A little dab'll do ya

14. I found my thrill...
A. In Blueberry muffins
B.. With my man, Bill
C.. Down at the mill
D. Over the windowsill
E. With thyme and dill
F. Too late to enjoy
G. On Blueberry Hill

15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by...
A. Clark Gable
B. Mary Martin
C. Doris Day
D. Errol Flynn
E. Sally Fields
F. Jim Carey
G. Jay Leno

16. Name the Beatles...
A. John, Steve, George, Ringo
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo

17. I wonder, wonder, who.
A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Was it you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who I am?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?

18. I'm strong to the finish...
A. Cause I eats my broccoli
B. Cause I eats me spinach
C. Cause I lift weights
D. Cause I'm the hero
E. And don't you forget it
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me
G. To outlast Bruto

19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today
A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera
B. Smile, you're on Star Search
C. Smile, you won the lottery
D. Smile, we're watching you
E. Smile, the world sees you
F. Smile, you're a hit
G. Smile, you're on TV

20. What do M & M's do?
A. Make your tummy happy
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket
C. Make you fat
D. Melt your heart
E. Make you popular
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand
G. Come in colors

Below are the right answers:
1. D - Wonder Bread
2. G - Cassius Clay
3. B - He Is Us
4. A - Good night, Chet
5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
6. D - Maynard G. Krebbs
7. C - Pants On Fire
8. F - The American Way
9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time
10. E - Oh My
11. D - Over 30
12. C - Joe Namath
13. G - A little dab'll do ya
14. G - On Blueberry Hill
15. B - Mary Martin
16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. D - Who wrote the book of Love
18. B - Cause I eats me spinach
19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera
20. F - Melt In Your Mouth Not In Your Hand

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Tuesday, April 13


A quick note...it appears that oriental spammers are "commenting" on bloggings, mine included, in order to leave links to their blogs..of the porno kind. I have had to change the way you can comment here. You are still welcome to e-mail me as usual. I can't control the jerkwad pencil dicks that would be so desperate to peddle their shit that they would prey on anyone, but I sure as HELL won't take it.

Yoshi Osamu Yi Long is scum.

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Sunday, April 11

Happy Birthday Honey!

Wow! What a week here!
You know we live in southern NY, and, it being April, you don't expect temps upwards of 88! Yup, that's not a typo. So we have learned this about the Love Shack:
-there WILL be a.c installed in the livingroom.
-When you have days of no rain, the squirrels and cats will come up to the sliding glass doors and try to get in.I have named one of the squirrels, and all of the local cats.Unfortunately, I can't say most the names in my blog, small swears are one thing, but I named those things so bad, people burst out laughing when I mention their names. Squirrels are of the opinion that, if they do not move, you cannot see them. I have been able a lot of times this week to walk right up to the sliding glass doors and crouch down to get a good look at those bastards. Sure they're cute, but so are my tulips, dammit. I also see we have a few bunnies,racoons, skunks, [the real kind, not naked ninja putz neighbor] along with the deer, so when I lay out the first garden bed, it will have to be protected as well as Fort Knox.
Also, we decided to plant 2 dwarf apple trees, in the yard between us and naked ninja putz neighbor. I really don't know how to protect them yet, short of a pellet gun, but since I'm out of work right now, just call me Annie Oakley.

Speaking of jobs.

I had 2 potential interviews.
The first, a pyrotechnic tech. Meaning: I would be making fireworks. This did not set very well with Steve, and he asked me not to interview. I agreed.
The second was,...er,..... collecting animal sperm, and artificially inseminating farm animals. Steve said *I* would be responsible for giving him a hernia from laughing. I wasn't thrilled with the whole idea, let along getting the shit kicked out of me by some mad steer, so I took a pass on it. I can just see me confusing the two jobs, and blowing a steer to kingdom come. If any steak or prime rib lands in your yard, you'd better invite me to dinner!

This week 2 great things happened. The first, ....Steve had his birthday, and he turned 50. I am so happy for him! He even got his AARP card! His sciatica has been bothering him, I told him it's from sliding into the home plate of the 50's with such style and panache.He took his birthday off [wed] so we could spend it together. I even popped for lunch at Longhorn flatass Steakhouse [that was the scene of his "whoopsie" staring at a waitresses butt, and claiming it didn't count because she had no ass to stare at]. You women know how wrong he was, and if you men don't, just take my word for it. We had a GREAT day! Also, it looks like Steve has found a car he can live with for a few months!! Hehehe, no kidding. As soon as it's official, I'll let you know, but he changes cars almost as often as he leaves his socks on the floor, so time will tell.

Another great thing was last night. I told you about John, my cello mentor, and friend. You can find a link to his photography blog on the right hand side of my blog, under "places I like to visit". Well, he and his wife Susan had a show of their work last at a local gallery, and Steve and I got to go. I had seen Johns work in his blog before, and indeed he gifted us a work that hangs here at the Shack. It was a great pleasure to walk around and look at his works all together. A great pleasure also, was seeing his wifes work. I've only seen that online and at Face book, so I wasn't prepared for the vibrant colors and beautiful execution of the subjects she chose, I was really floored. Plus, we got to meet her IRL for the first time..we became friends at FB, but never met face to face. It was gratifying to see that my gut instincts about her were correct, she is a kind and funny person. I was especially happy with Steves reaction to the show. You know, he is the best man I know, but everyone has "their" things, and he is a gearhead/partsman/ automotive savant, in every sense of the word. I wasn't sure how much he would enjoy the show. But we talked a lot about the works we saw, Steve loved how clever they were, and we both agreed on our favorite work of Susans, so we did together something we don't often do, and enjoyed the hell out of it. A note to Stevie...when you know Big Steve and I are out, you don't have to txt me "thanks" about how to make pizza, ok? My phone went off while I was holding my purse under my arm, and scared the shit out of me :O)

Oh, and another credit card bit the dust this week. My beloved Cap One. We have had that card for years, it was my go-to card. Until we just got notice that we, starting this July, would be paying a 40$ annual fee! I called and said, no thank you. I was told, if I wait until the month the fee would be accessed, and call back, they MIGHT be able to waive the fee, considering our history with them. This is April, I'm supposed to remember to call them back in July? They PLAN on you forgetting to call back. Nope, no thank you. I don't give a shit about my fico or my credit to debt ratio right now, we got our Shack, and THAT was the big thing. The guy warned me my fico might go down, as I have a large credit line, and the closing would effect my fico. Well, Screw you CapOne! That's my motto. Asshats. Be VERY sure to read everything you get from your credit card companies from now on,....it used to be bullshit. Now they will actively try to screw you over.

Boo, if you see this...all the best of luck to you as you move to your new position. I KNOW you will rock it, and pretty soon, they will too :o)

7th: Happy 50th to my Honey!
11th: International "Louie Louie" Day
13th: International Moment of Laughter Day

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