Kenny Rogers

Can someone explain why I keep getting Kenny Rogers alerts from my itunes account? Not that there's anything wrong with him, and his "You decorated my life" is a catchy tune....but since he had his face lift, I can't even LOOK at him, and I know I didn't buy anything of his recently.

Today I had to stay home from work. You will never guess, in a bajillion years, what I did. I took a NAP! I am afraid of naps,-with the insomnia being so bad, I wonder how much worse the night would be if I slept at all during the day.This morning,I said the hell with it, let tonight take care of itself, and took a pre-lunch nap. That was DivinE!!!! Naps are the Awesome!
So, of course, the tv was on, and in between stories [ I like "Americas Newsroom" on Fox news. I know,that makes me a philistine, but I KNEW I was a philistine years ago, so THERE] there were....commercials.Yes, I DO have a problem with the way some commercials portray women, [honestly,I have a problem with the way they portray just about everybody, but this morning was"pick on women" morning] you can TELL when an ad account rep had a bad morning,-fought with the spouse, the kids flipped them the bird,maybe the dog pissed on their leg, and they got a speeding ticket on the way to work,so they were gunning for bear. I think that's what happened with the College Inn broth ad person. You see a woman cutting ONE LEG off of a chicken.Her little girl asks her why, and then you see grandma look up at the ceiling, and as if heaven inspired, we get the back story....the Grandma couldn't fit a whole chicken in her pot. What did she do? Did she buy a pot that actually served her needs? Borrow one from the neighbor that tipples a bit then talks too much about soap operas? Borrow one from the neighbor guy who likes to wear frilly aprons and trade recipes? Trade in those S&H Greenstamps for one? NO. She cut one leg off the damn bird. So, what does her [adult] daughter do? Learn from Mom's obvious lack of intelligence? NO, SHE cuts a leg off the bird, and tells her little girl it is a family secret. A family secret to be a dumbass. I have news for her. When you're that dumb, the whole neighborhood knows, and it ain't pretty. That's not something I'd care to advertize.

Dear Klondike Bar company,
Hi! I have a few questions regarding your new product,Reeses Peanut Butter cup Klondikes. First off, was I supposed to eat them, or apply them directly to my hips? 6 of one, half dozen of the other, I know, but I'd still like to know. Second, is there any way you can change the color of the package? That orange is "Reeses Orange" and waving that color in front of my crew is like waving a red flag in front of a bull.They would remove everything from the freezer looking for that orange color [and it's more likely a baby carrot out of a frozen veggie bag than a Reeses,but for a Reeces they will leave no stone unturned. And every veggie out on the counter to thaw.] Third, would you happen to have a home address for the member of the marketing team that thought the product up? I would LOVE to go straight to their home and thank them. I SWEAR, I have no ulterior motive, like beating them upside their head with a bag of frozen veggies, dousing them with teriyaki or defenestrating them,or ANYthing like that, oh NO, they are perfectly safe from this hip-challenged pms'ing very close to 48 year old who is ready to go out on a tear. Honestly.

Sincerely,

Gail

[p.s.....kids,....that is called a "rhetorical" question. I do NOT NOT have Reeses klondike bars in the inside freezer. No I don't, so leave the poor freezer alone, it never did anything to you.]

December 11th:

-International Mountain Day