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Saturday, January 24

Swear Words! Really! A lot of em' too! But in a clinical sense,not a dirty one.But,you may think swears are always dirty! So,who knows?



I had a situation at work, where a co-worker said something that had to be instantly negated and neutralized. By me. So, I let her have it, and used the work fuck 3 times in one paragraph.This gave her to know that she'd better be listening, yanno? That got me to thinking about swears, and why and how I use them. Everybody is different. For some people, the word fuck is a part of their every day life, as in "Hey would you give me the fuckin' remote already?' I see it on blogs all the time,and also the "WTF". [although I have been known to use the WTF, somehow it's more innocuous that the word fuck] IMHO, that takes away the gravity of the word. For others, even a whispered damn or hell turns their face red, and results in comments about potty mouth.


In the upper echelon of swears, for me, fuck is the star.

[an aside...I use that word so little,..kids be QUIET, I am a classy broad and do NOT use that language in public......that I just had to teach my spellchecker that word]

It's the big bright shiny sledgehammer of the swear world. You only whip that out in extreme cases, and when you do, peoples heads snap back and they look at you as if you grew antenna. And they LISTEN to what you are saying, and generally do not forget it, if you have used the word fuck correctly.



Hell, Damn, pissed off, they are more stiletto-like, they slip into the conversation and I barely notice them, except in a subliminal way.

Then you have your exclamatory swears. Long strings of every swear and curse you know,in every language you can swear in [except for fuck, we don't want to sully fuck] strung together in a narrative or anecdotal way. The machete of the swears world. They are yelled while hammering a thumb, or having a turkey and a ham thrown onto your feet, then they have mysterious analgesic properties. The longer the string of swears is, the more healing power it has. I believe in natural remedies for pain relief, so I swear a lot. Big, long, glorious chains of swears that either relieve the pain or make me laugh.

Next would be your swears for body parts and family members. My favorite swear in this catagory is "sonofabitch", all one word. Asshole. Hmmm. Now,THAT can be used in a multitude of ways. For everything from getting cut off in traffic, spoken sotto-voce, to being yelled at full lung capacity at the asshole neighbor who almost ran you off the road cause she was on the phone and not looking.[and it's your one asshole neighbor, the whole family refers to her as "The Asshole,...hey, so it can be an appellation too!] Yeah,I would say asshole is a workhorse.

You know,not all swears are nouns or adjectives. Hot Damn, for instance, that is more of a verb, or a conjunction used in conjunction with a string of swears. Usually when I start a string of swears for pain relief, it starts out as God Damn or Hot Damn, if I know religious people are around I won't use "God Damn", it might offend them.

And last,you have your "sort-of" swears, I consider this to be the "Scrubs" effect. In this catagory would be frick, frickity-frick, crappity-crap, friggin,...euphemisms for the real thing, but not real swears in and of themselves. Public swears.


A whole bloggie,just because someone said something irretrieveably stupid. Turning lemons into lemonade !


The phone rang a little while ago. It's Stevie, he is getting out of class, and heard "THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE" [Boo is here, and she texted him, I just KNOW it] that we are having chinese for dinner, true? I HAD to laugh.Told him yup, he said he'd be here for dinner. Chinese and video games, with all the kids just happening to be here.Good Times ! I think I need to tell a certain daughter that there's no "Go to Hell" button on the video game controller ;o)



January 24th:

-National Belly Laugh Day
-National Compliment Day

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4 comments:

toypartman said...

WTF kind of blog is this anyway? Well I'll be a SOB!

Gail said...

hehehe,funny man :o)

CaptainChaos! said...

Oh god, she's lost it again!

The Chinese was great, by the way!

Gail said...

Stevie,I didn't lose it! I really did think,when's the last time I said f in public? And I can't remember/don't know.For other people,they say it as easily as putting on their shoes,and it kinda makes me cringe a bit,but that's just me.