Thank you Honey/September 5, 2011

September 5. 2011.

Everyone can tell you where they were when Kennedy got shot, or where they were when the 9/11 attacks occurred. A deeply shocking event will do that to anyone.

It certainly did it to me.

I had a regular check up with my doc. Included in that visit were the results of the annual blood work.

I was a pre-diabetic, I was ONE POINT off of being diabetic. My doc sat there with a pad in her hand, about to write me an rx. For metformin.

I froze.

Diabetes runs like a freight train thru my family, on both sides. It is what is listed on my Mothers death certificate as the cause of her death. There were many contributing factors to her death, but diabetes was the gorilla in the room. I became her primary caregiver. I watched her go thru renal dialysis 3x/week because her kidneys shut down. I became her dietician, learning [according to knowledge at that time] what she should and should not eat.

But she died. And here *I* am, sitting there, getting the same diagnosis. THIS CAN'T BE. I said WAIT! Isn't there anything I can do, on my own, without the need for a pill? I believe that is the start of a slippery slope, from which there is often no return. She said "Well, you could lose weight. And exercize. You are borderline. I can't make you any promises, but I believe if you do those things, you might be able to turn this around."

And so *I* remember exactly where I was on September 5th.

Walking out of the docs office, feeling panic, a cold sweat, shock. Yeah, it was shock. WHAT the HELL do I DO? WHERE do I start?

I came home and researched all that I could and made a list of things that I could change. And, one at a time, started doing them.

Blood sugar Sept 5 2011=125

Blood sugar Dec 2011= 105

Blood sugar April 2012= 101

I lost the weight, am no longer even pre diabetic, and made changes that I could [mostly] live with ! If you are struggling with weight loss or prediabetes, I am a walking advertizement for hard, hard, ball busting work.

I'm working so fucking hard, but it looks like I am doing it. If this blog entry doesn't sound like me, it's because every time I think about that day, I feel that sick sense of shock and horror. Mama WAS NOT HAPPY.

I believe I mentioned that at one point I thought about not blogging anymore. I posted one of the reasons back then. The other is....when I am not telling you about this life altering gorilla-in-the-room thing that happened to me, I'm hiding it. I am no good at hiding things, just ask Steve or the kids. So as I continue to blog, I will be mentioning that part of my life as well. I could NOT have done any of this without Steve. My rock and my best friend. The one who looked me straight in the eye and told me he believed in me, that he KNEW I could do this. Who made sure I had a dreadmill....you will never see me refer to a "treadmill" because to me that fucker was, is, and always will be a Dreadmill. Who held me when I would cry that it was just too hard, I couldn't do it. And he kept saying, I know you can do it.

Thanks Honey.

July 1st:
~International Chicken Wing Day
~Second Half of the Year Day

-Work will win when wishing won't-