I've been thinking a lot about Forgiveness this week. For people I Love, as well as for a person I post in public with. The "what" of what they did to me isn't so germane as, it was uncalled for by any action[s] of my own, and it hurt like hell.
I guess the crux of forgiveness for me is, HOW? When you've been wronged, how do you let it slide off of you, without closure, or even a simple apology from the person who done you wrong? And these 2 instances that I'm thinking of, they were pretty BAD wrongs, done to me. But I refuse to let them hang around my neck, that would kind of defeat the purpose of the cross and religious medals that hang there also, you dig? Once I saw the irony in that, I decided I had to do something, had to change my way of thinking, so that I could let this crap go.
I went to my friend Google. And in the course of googling "how to forgive someone" I came across this:
"......... imagine your tormentors as they were when they were babies or young children. Visualize these people one at a time, and really take time to feel the realities of their lives as toddlers. Babies are not born with a distinct desire to hurt others physically or emotionally. They are born craving love and protection. Visualize what your tormentors were like when they did nothing but crave love and protection.
If you work at realizing how pure and innocent your tormentors once were, you may come to a point where it becomes clear that their hurtful acts as older children or adults likely stem from their own wounds."
DING DING DING! Now, THAT I can understand. And THAT led to, maybe I can't forgive them, maybe it's not in me, but I can certainly Understand, someone speaking out of their own pain and wounds, we all have enough of them. And I can let it go. I never believed in the concept of "Forgive and Forget" on the whole. When you are put in a bad situation, you need to learn from it, the very first go-round, to avoid repeating it. Growing up hard, you learn that lesson early and well.....Not to let history repeat itself. Don't EVER forget. But I discovered, inside of me, that I can learn the lesson without hanging onto the textbook for it. The emotional garbage. And THAT made me happy and gave me hope. Who said an old dog can't learn new tricks? I have a thing or two to say to them :o)
I got a sign that Karma thinks I'm on to something, too. The town we moved to is divided into two parts...the town and the city. I live in the town, and the library is in the city. My beloved library. I have not found my way there since me moved, hence the occasional book order. While I was typing this up just now, Tone went out to get the mail. And in that bundle, was a informational flyer and schedule from our library....the very first one we've received since we bought the Shack.THAT is powerful karma talking...find a way to let it go, and your library will find You, woman!
Two pics, taken today, of the Amaryllis that I closed a window on last year, breaking the blooming cycle. Here is proof that you should keep trying, Amaryllis are hard to kill:
And to my friend/reader Tracy...here is a pic of the amaryllis bulb you sent me last summer, the one that was being a brat for you. You'll notice, it's a wee bit of a thing, I am thnking it's a hybrid that has gone bad. I'll keep trying with it every year as long as I see life in it, I'm a never-say-never kinda gal when it comes to plants:
And a follow-up,...... I *did* give notice last Monday morning. I got the impression my boss was really pissed at me. I told him, you all have been very good to me, I have no job on the table right now, so tell me how much notice you would like, and I'll work it out [fully expecting to be escorted to the door right then, the opportunity to frig with huge accounts is not something they take lightly] He asked, can you do a week I said Sure! He stomped off, I guess to talk to the owners. He came back with, "can you give me 2 weeks" and I said Sure! Then his "final offer" was, can I work thru the end of the month" . And I said Sure! So, I will start looking for a new job on the 18th, thinking, it will be 2 weeks until the end of the month, so I won't be messing with employer the old or employer the new. Make sense? Hehehe :o) So keep them crossed that I can find a position closer to home, I'd appreciate it.
Something else I wanted to put here, I need to mull it over a bit before I yell at someone. Today on Facebook, a relative announced that there was heartbreaking news about another relative. Steve and I were shocked, WTH? Why don't we know what is going on? And Steve was upset about it. He called another relative, who gave him the 411, and true... it is not good, and it is heartbreaking, we love that relative too. So, word up, certain people. Do NOT announce in a public venue, bad family news, let ALONE be vague about it, unless you are sure that all your relatives actually know the score. I realize, with all the public venues [and I dig the irony of blogging about it, but everyone who should know knows now] available, that mistakes happen, but I personally will jack the ass of anyone that messes with Steve, he didn't deserve that.
January:10th: Stephen Foster Day
13th: Happy Birthday Lynn!
13th: Happy Birthday Tracy!
13th: Rubber Duckie Day
15th: International Fetish Day
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