This and That

I need
-A 5 minute delay "Are you SURE, Lady?" button on the dishwasher, for when you just hit start, and people bring in more dishes that COULD have gone in there, but now YOU have to wash them. Happens all the time..

-A taser or stun gun, or club, or SOMETHING that I can use on the person who gets behind me in a grocery store line, and starts sighing over the size of my order. Listen, they have quick checks, self-checks, and express lanes. Don't get behind me on a regular lane with a playboy and a big bottle of hand lotion and expect ME to apologize. Putz.

-Something better than my middle finger, to express my dismay at the dismal driving skills of some drivers. Last time I looked Stop" means "STOP", not don't look/don't tell and roll right in front of me. And then proceed to do 20 in a 45. While my grocery order is thawing in the back of the truck. Almost all the time, I can ignore this type of stupidity...considering that the wonderful GPS people haven't gotten around to mapping our re-done area roads yet, you have to be prepared to be cut off at a moments notice, by people THINKING they'd be making a right onto a ramp, and discovering in less than a quarter mile they'll need to make a left at a light. I feel bad for them. But not for the intentional assholes.

......SOMEWHERE, where I can swing something like a bat or a cudgel at something, and a member of the government that made these tax laws gets hurt. You know, like Whack-A-Mole? I don't care which one, just that one of them pays for this utter stupidity. Don't even get me STARTED this year, this should be a HONKIN return for us. Nope.

My cello [you'll note I didn't call her Ruby, when she's a bitch she is just "my cello"] has developed some anti-social tendencies I HATE. I had to replace the bridge, and it has a much higher profile than the one that came with the cello....and the one I ordered is a "low".....so short of finding a way to shave the sucker myself, I am stuck with this bridge. It totally changes the sound of Ruby. I am struggling to play the harmonics, and simply the act of playing is more difficult, as the strings ride higher over the fingerboard than they used to. I also think my A string is possessed, it is biting down into this bridge the same way it bit so badly into the other bridge I had to replace it. Think it's time to ditch that A string too. [I might just rebuild the area under the A string on the old bridge and switch it back, Ruby sounds like she's strangling, and I HATE it.

Now the good stuff.....
I am really happy to say, it looks like Steves sciatica is finally easing up. The poor guy has been attacked by it, night and day, for over 2 months. It's been writing on the slate of who he is.....he is very active at home on the weekends, and hasn't been able to do anything. Yesterday he spent 3 hours outside, and when he came in he looked 10 years younger, I could SEE the sciatica leaving his face. YAY Honey!!

OH YEAH!!! You've seen the commercials for the brownie pan...you pour the batter in, put into the pan what looks like the divider in an old metal ice cube tray, and bake. You're supposed to wind up with beautiful lil separate brownies. I got one to play with. My main application for it would be baking cornbread for the big holiday do's and freezing it ahead of service, I just don't like store bought corn bread as much as home made, and I'm kinda fond of the people who show up, and want them to have the good stuff.

But back to the baking dish. I didn't want to make brownies, so I settled on Angel Food cake squares, I'd already macerated the strawberries for it. The instruction guide said, if you're making cake, to plan on the same amount of batter you'd use in a 13x9 pan....one box. So that's what I did. It looked a bit full, so I saved back enough batter to make 9 angel food cupcakes with. Put it in the oven.
O.M.G.
Think, I Love Lucy and the endless loaf of bread. That sucker puffed up like an Adder in a room full of Meerkats, I just had to laugh. By the end of the baking time, you couldn't see the grid for the cake puffed up all over the place. Pretty damn funny, and I promise the next time I screw up with it, I'll get pics. I was just laughing too hard :o) But it tasted just fine. [if you get one....a half box of cake batter will do just fine.]

I love the lil sucker, and am glad I have it.And even gladder that it's dishwasher safe, I wouldn't buy it if I had to hand scrub all the little nooks and crannies in there.

And this, from my Boo. Thank You Dear, for reminding me how old I am LOL...I got 'em all right :O)
-----
For OLDER people... MEMORY TEST!

This is NOT a pushover test.
There are 20 questions. Average score is 12.
This one will be difficult for the younger set.
Have fun, but no peeking!
Good luck, youngsters.


1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
A. Flintstones vitamins
B. The Buttmaster
C. Spaghetti
D. Wonder Bread
E.. Orange Juice
F. Milk
G. Cod Liver Oil

2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was...
A. Sugar Ray Robinson
B. Roy Orbison
C. Gene Autry
D. Rudolph Valentino
E. Fabian
F. Mickey Mantle
G. Cassius Clay

3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and...
A. It's you
B. He is us
C. It's the Grinch
D. He wasn't home
E. He's really me an
F. We quit
G. He surrendered

4. Good night David.
A.. Good night Chet
B. Sleep well
C. Good night Irene
D. Good night Gracie
E. See you later alligator
F. Until tomorrow
G. Good night Steve

5. You'll wonder where the yellow went...
A. When you use Tide
B. When you lose your crayons
C. When you clean your tub
D. If you paint the room blue
E. If you buy a soft water tank
F.. When you use Lady Clairol
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent

6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend...
A. Stuart Whitman
B. Randolph Scott
C. Steve Reeves
D. Maynard G. Krebbs
E. Corky B. Dork
F. Dave the Whale
G. Zippy Zoo

7. Liar, liar...
A. You're a liar
B. Your nose is growing
C. Pants on fire
D. Join the choir
E. Jump up higher
F.. On the wire
G. I'm telling Mom

8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and.....
A. Wheaties
B. Lois Lane
C. TV ratings
D. World peace
E. Red tights
F. The American way
G. News headlines

9. Hey kids! What time is it?
A. It's time for Yogi Bear
B It's time to do your homework
C. It's Howdy Doody Time
D. It's Time for Romper Room
E. It's bedtime
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour
G. Scoopy Doo Time

10. Lions and tigers and bears....
A. Yikes!
B. Oh no!
C. Gee whiz!
D. I'm scared!
E. Oh my!
F. Help! Help!
G. Let's run!

11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone...
A. Over 40
B. Wearing a uniform
C. Carrying a briefcase
D. Over 30
E. You don't know
F. Who says, 'Trust me'
G.. Who eats tofu

12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's stockings... .
A. Troy Aikman
B. Kenny Stabler
C. Joe Namath
D. Roger Staubach
E. Joe Montana
F. Steve Young
G. John Elway


13. Brylcream...
A. Smear it on
B. You'll smell great
C. Tame that cowlick
D. Grease ball heaven
E. It's a dream
F. We're your team
G. A little dab'll do ya

14. I found my thrill...
A. In Blueberry muffins
B.. With my man, Bill
C.. Down at the mill
D. Over the windowsill
E. With thyme and dill
F. Too late to enjoy
G. On Blueberry Hill

15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by...
A. Clark Gable
B. Mary Martin
C. Doris Day
D. Errol Flynn
E. Sally Fields
F. Jim Carey
G. Jay Leno

16. Name the Beatles...
A. John, Steve, George, Ringo
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo

17. I wonder, wonder, who.
A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Was it you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who I am?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?

18. I'm strong to the finish...
A. Cause I eats my broccoli
B. Cause I eats me spinach
C. Cause I lift weights
D. Cause I'm the hero
E. And don't you forget it
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me
G. To outlast Bruto

19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today
A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera
B. Smile, you're on Star Search
C. Smile, you won the lottery
D. Smile, we're watching you
E. Smile, the world sees you
F. Smile, you're a hit
G. Smile, you're on TV

20. What do M & M's do?
A. Make your tummy happy
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket
C. Make you fat
D. Melt your heart
E. Make you popular
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand
G. Come in colors

Below are the right answers:
1. D - Wonder Bread
2. G - Cassius Clay
3. B - He Is Us
4. A - Good night, Chet
5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
6. D - Maynard G. Krebbs
7. C - Pants On Fire
8. F - The American Way
9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time
10. E - Oh My
11. D - Over 30
12. C - Joe Namath
13. G - A little dab'll do ya
14. G - On Blueberry Hill
15. B - Mary Martin
16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. D - Who wrote the book of Love
18. B - Cause I eats me spinach
19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera
20. F - Melt In Your Mouth Not In Your Hand

Asshats

A quick note...it appears that oriental spammers are "commenting" on bloggings, mine included, in order to leave links to their blogs..of the porno kind. I have had to change the way you can comment here. You are still welcome to e-mail me as usual. I can't control the jerkwad pencil dicks that would be so desperate to peddle their shit that they would prey on anyone, but I sure as HELL won't take it.

Yoshi Osamu Yi Long is scum.

Happy Birthday Honey!

Wow! What a week here!
You know we live in southern NY, and, it being April, you don't expect temps upwards of 88! Yup, that's not a typo. So we have learned this about the Love Shack:
-there WILL be a.c installed in the livingroom.
-When you have days of no rain, the squirrels and cats will come up to the sliding glass doors and try to get in.I have named one of the squirrels, and all of the local cats.Unfortunately, I can't say most the names in my blog, small swears are one thing, but I named those things so bad, people burst out laughing when I mention their names. Squirrels are of the opinion that, if they do not move, you cannot see them. I have been able a lot of times this week to walk right up to the sliding glass doors and crouch down to get a good look at those bastards. Sure they're cute, but so are my tulips, dammit. I also see we have a few bunnies,racoons, skunks, [the real kind, not naked ninja putz neighbor] along with the deer, so when I lay out the first garden bed, it will have to be protected as well as Fort Knox.
Also, we decided to plant 2 dwarf apple trees, in the yard between us and naked ninja putz neighbor. I really don't know how to protect them yet, short of a pellet gun, but since I'm out of work right now, just call me Annie Oakley.

Speaking of jobs.

I had 2 potential interviews.
The first, a pyrotechnic tech. Meaning: I would be making fireworks. This did not set very well with Steve, and he asked me not to interview. I agreed.
The second was,...er,..... collecting animal sperm, and artificially inseminating farm animals. Steve said *I* would be responsible for giving him a hernia from laughing. I wasn't thrilled with the whole idea, let along getting the shit kicked out of me by some mad steer, so I took a pass on it. I can just see me confusing the two jobs, and blowing a steer to kingdom come. If any steak or prime rib lands in your yard, you'd better invite me to dinner!

This week 2 great things happened. The first, ....Steve had his birthday, and he turned 50. I am so happy for him! He even got his AARP card! His sciatica has been bothering him, I told him it's from sliding into the home plate of the 50's with such style and panache.He took his birthday off [wed] so we could spend it together. I even popped for lunch at Longhorn flatass Steakhouse [that was the scene of his "whoopsie" staring at a waitresses butt, and claiming it didn't count because she had no ass to stare at]. You women know how wrong he was, and if you men don't, just take my word for it. We had a GREAT day! Also, it looks like Steve has found a car he can live with for a few months!! Hehehe, no kidding. As soon as it's official, I'll let you know, but he changes cars almost as often as he leaves his socks on the floor, so time will tell.

Another great thing was last night. I told you about John, my cello mentor, and friend. You can find a link to his photography blog on the right hand side of my blog, under "places I like to visit". Well, he and his wife Susan had a show of their work last at a local gallery, and Steve and I got to go. I had seen Johns work in his blog before, and indeed he gifted us a work that hangs here at the Shack. It was a great pleasure to walk around and look at his works all together. A great pleasure also, was seeing his wifes work. I've only seen that online and at Face book, so I wasn't prepared for the vibrant colors and beautiful execution of the subjects she chose, I was really floored. Plus, we got to meet her IRL for the first time..we became friends at FB, but never met face to face. It was gratifying to see that my gut instincts about her were correct, she is a kind and funny person. I was especially happy with Steves reaction to the show. You know, he is the best man I know, but everyone has "their" things, and he is a gearhead/partsman/ automotive savant, in every sense of the word. I wasn't sure how much he would enjoy the show. But we talked a lot about the works we saw, Steve loved how clever they were, and we both agreed on our favorite work of Susans, so we did together something we don't often do, and enjoyed the hell out of it. A note to Stevie...when you know Big Steve and I are out, you don't have to txt me "thanks" about how to make pizza, ok? My phone went off while I was holding my purse under my arm, and scared the shit out of me :O)

Oh, and another credit card bit the dust this week. My beloved Cap One. We have had that card for years, it was my go-to card. Until we just got notice that we, starting this July, would be paying a 40$ annual fee! I called and said, no thank you. I was told, if I wait until the month the fee would be accessed, and call back, they MIGHT be able to waive the fee, considering our history with them. This is April, I'm supposed to remember to call them back in July? They PLAN on you forgetting to call back. Nope, no thank you. I don't give a shit about my fico or my credit to debt ratio right now, we got our Shack, and THAT was the big thing. The guy warned me my fico might go down, as I have a large credit line, and the closing would effect my fico. Well, Screw you CapOne! That's my motto. Asshats. Be VERY sure to read everything you get from your credit card companies from now on,....it used to be bullshit. Now they will actively try to screw you over.

Boo, if you see this...all the best of luck to you as you move to your new position. I KNOW you will rock it, and pretty soon, they will too :o)

April:
7th: Happy 50th to my Honey!
11th: International "Louie Louie" Day
13th: International Moment of Laughter Day

War.

Squirrels are nothing more than glorified tree rats. I hate tree rats, and I hate squirrels. If I was faster I'd kick all their asses.I also hate their cousin, the chipmunk. And I hate their big country cousin, Deer. Deer are good for one thing,- a lo n slow session in the oven with red wine, tomato paste, onions and garlic.I'd like to stuff a chipmunk inside a squirrel inside a deer, and stand that on my lawn. As a warning to all the other lil bastards out there.All these animals are Bastards, stuffed with ooey gooey Bastard goodness and coated in Bastardly coating.
All my tulips are gone.
This means war.
The Bastards.

Forsythia

Wow, it's Saturday already! I am trying to plan the plantings for the shack. I have an area for a veggie garden that will need to be fenced in, and I have 2 areas for herbs.
And now Sunday. What a GLORIOUS weekend! I hurt so good! Those bags of mulch have to go 40-50 lbs. At least most of the mulching is done in the front, and we have decided, in the side yard, to plant two trees.... dwarf fruit trees ! I am having the time of my life, and you'd think I'd be right here blogging my heart out. There is so much I want to say, but when I sit down, I forget. I'll have to think of some daily way to make notes...I'll have to make crib notes for my own blog!

We are loving it right now, the weekend weather was superb, so we got to grill dinner tonight, it just put the cherry on top of a lovely weekend.

Thank you for asking about me, that means the world to me! I am disgustingly healthy and happy. You know, everyone approaches their life to the best of their ability, or desire. In the old place, between it's geographical location and bitch of a landlord, I just felt that I could not live my fullest life, with some of the talents God gave me. I will never have a perfectly balanced checkbook, and due to my sweet Steve I have never once in my life pumped gas, but I do have some talents. Growing things. That is a big one for me. And in the whole of our married life, I was never in a place where I could flex that muscle.
Until Now.
And now, I find myself trying to plan it very well, I don't want to go bugshit and plant for plantings sake, but to have a thoughtful plan, so it's beautiful as well as functional. This weekend, with the last of the gift card my heart loop sisters gave to us, I bought the first shrub for the Shack. A forsythia. I associate that bush with spring, and the release from winter, and with my Mom and Grandmothers, as well as my family and my childhood, the second I saw it, I wanted it. But, did it fit into the plan? Well, I MADE it fit. As I look out onto the backyard from my kitchen window, I see the patio. I planted that forsythia right on the corner...along with a few red tulips, so it wouldn't be lonely....and mulched it. Now, everytime I work at the sink, I can see my first planting, and I can think of all the work we did to get here, and my heart loop sisters who wanted it so badly for us, and my family. It happens to be a very happy forsythia :o) Oh, you can rest assured, there will be more blogging! But for tonight, I will leave you with the pic of the forsythia....if you look in the backround, you'll see leaves on the ground. THAT is there the veggie garden will go, and I am almost beside myself planning THAT :o)

Stanley Pyrex

You know you do. Have a secret vice or two. You know it's bad for you, but you go right ahead and do it anyway.
My secret vice is

[well, no so secret, I think I've blogged about it before, in reference to telling people to shut the hell up about my beloved]

Cup o' soup. I love the chicken noodle, but I ADORE the tomato.Just gotta have it.
I am out of it.
I have looked in ShopRite, Stop n shop, Price Chopper, and A&P.
No one has it. Turns out it has been discontinued.
So I did it, I went to my beloved Amazon, and ordered a case...12 boxes....of my soup.
Now, I need Steve to make a shelf by the water cooler, which has hot water too, just perfect for sneaking a cup o soup while ironing. I will make a damn SHRINE to cup o soup, you just watch me. And if anyone has anything to say about it, I won't share my stash with them.

I LOVE LOVE Football!
Actually, I can't STAND it. But I LOVE what it does for me. For the Super Bowl for example, I retreated to the bedroom, with my laptop, and a pile of books. Aside from grabbing the remote instead of my mouse, things were very nice up there.
Steve and the kids had to wait on me hand and foot, as *I* was the one "kicked " out of the living room.

This week, it was some kind of racing thing for the guys. THAT was the life I tell you. Steve had already brought me a glass of wine, and I was feeling very virtuous catching up on things that require you to sit down [letters, gossiping with your heart loop, replying on the boards that mean something to me, clipping coupons...I've done that our whole married life, you want any pointers feel free to ask] I had the metal rock music channel on [I don't know why, but it's been a while since I visited that genre, so there ya go.....but I had to turn it off because my neck hurts from nodding to the beat]
[I was listening to Paradise Lost/Frailty when I gave up]

I did it, I got myself a pedometer. Since I've been out of work, I have to make sure I'm getting my 3 miles [10,00 steps, appx] a day. HA! I am here to tell you, pedometers lie worse than Tricky Dick Nixon ever could. Plus they have an annoying habit of jumping off of me, landing on the floor, and resetting themselves. Every day THAT happened I counted it as a sign from God that I did the full 10,000 already, to take it easy :o)

After Pics!! Of the library for sure:









I was putting away the bins that hold our Christmas decorations, and hidden up in the rafters of basement, I found a glass percolator [coffee pot, sans guts]. I scrubbed it up well, and it is now a a tiny fish tank. I have a before pic:




And an after.




The fish is a blue Betta, and Steve named it [a classy fish, it has a last name] Stanley Pyrex. Pyrex, 'cause of the coffeepot, but Stanley. Well. I can only say, in his defense, that while the power was out and we were on generator, we watched a LOT of movies. Some of them blasts from the past. Including "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane", and Andrew Dice Clay classic :X The main character named his, er, appendage "Stanley" and that hit Steve right on his funny bone. I will note that it will probably be left up to me, to explain the name to family and friends. Thanks Honey!

And these fish...they are goldfish, but were meant to be feeder fish for other animals in the pet store, so we saved these fishies lives! No names yet, they are mine to name, and I'm still shook up over Stanley Pyrex.





March:

7th: National Crown Roast Of Pork Day
8th: Happy Birthday Dawn!
9th: Panic Day
10th: Festival Of Life In The Cracks Day

A Tale of Two Storms

Yeah, I know. I promised pics of the redone library. Well, have *I* got a story to tell You.

We got hit with 2 snow storms.

The first, on Tuesday, dumped 6 inches, and took out our electricity, cable, phone, internet, everything. We got the elec back, and the second storm arrived.....a record breaking storm, by all accounts. We got 36 inches of snow in the first 24 hrs, and 3 inches more, last Thursday into Friday into Saturday. No power for days. We had to decide...lose all the food in both freezers and all my houseplants, plus pay for a hotel room to stay warm in and take out food for the duration of the blackout...or buy a generator. We bought a generator.[unfortunately, my iron sucks up 1200 watts, so ironing was out during the outage while on the gennie.] Our county was under a state of emergency, which means only first responders are allowed to drive......so of COURSE Steve went to work. I was LIVID. But I did get closure with a lovely Amazon order, that included a solar powered battery charger and a slew of rechargeable batteries.

It appears, the way this house is wired, that our bedroom and the dining room are on the same circuit as the library. Which is the only room heated with electric baseboard heat, as opposed to oil/boiler heat for the rest of this house [ I'd LOVE to grab the person who did that and shake them till the marbles they call brains fall out of their heads] We cannot run the library with the generator, so no light in the dining room or bed room, necessitating flashlights. Even with the electricity back, when I go on my night time ambles, I'm still grabbing for a flashlight.

We got our power back Sunday night. I was wide awake and decided to come out into the living room around 11:30 pm. I never bring my glasses, I know every little nook of this house, and glasses are useless in the dark. You have to pass the music room, which faces the street, to get to the livingroom. I realized something was weird, the room was MUCH brighter than a full moon would make it. That was because the street light came back on. Power! Power came back! I wasn't SURE, as I couldn't see the light, as I didn't have my glasses on. There is no one more cautious, than the blind person who is running for their glasses, hehehe. Steve woke up thinking something was wrong. I told him I thought the elec was back, but go back to sleep, we could deal with the gennie in the morning. His reply was Fuck That! We did a happy dance turning that noisy [but VERY welcome] thing off. Of course, Naked ninja putz neighbor left his on all night. He went and BOUGHT a friggin gennie, had someone hook it up for him [and THEY were not very on the ball, everything was hand-tightened....gennies vibrate, you need to wrench tighten the fittings... so Steve went over and fixed him up] and he NEGLECTED to ask how to return to main power. Monday morning, he turns the gennie off. 5 minutes later he turned it back on, and it stayed on until someone showed up to turn it off and switch him back to elec. That is the HEIGHT of irresponsibility, playing with a machine like that without knowing what you're doing. Even *I* can hook up the gennie and return to main power, and *I* am a chickenshit, I do NOT like to play with electricity.

[note: There are 2 ways to hook up a gennie. The Right way,[that would be Steve] and the wrong way...backfeeding your house by plugging the gennie into an outlet. I would have offered to help putz [do you know, I know what his moms name is, but I don't know his name, he is always putz to me?] but I don't know how his "expert", that didnt even tighten the thing up properly, hooked him up. So I kept my hands and good intentions to myself.]

Thank you God for sending me Steve, who appears to love nothing more than to make wires, hook things up to the breaker panel, and grunt in a Tim Taylor/ Home Improvement kinda way :)

We didn't get our tv and net back until Tues. morning [the eta for that was wed., so we are thrilled] I was JONESING for some net. I wound up in Steves office using the wifi his dealership offers customers Monday night, and Bam, tues the net was back.
Boo! Poor Boo! She lost power, and was told there was no ETA for it's return, so she came home to us. Her power was restored.....when she was snowed in here, with no heat or power, with us. Stevie lost power too, and he has elec heat, plus well water with an elec pump, so no water either.

It was about as tough as you can image. But. We are SO DAMN lucky, compared to most. No part of our home was hurt, and we are all fine.There was a gennie available when we needed one and we had the moolah to buy it. We had it better than most.

Of the 48,000 customers Central Hudson services in my county, 47,000of us lost power for an extended time. The local paper is vilifying a politician for wanting hearings about EXACTLY how C.H prepares the infrastructure for something like this, and how they maintain it. I APPLAUD him. There is NO WAY that friggin utility is doing it's job, when most of their customers are off line. The neighboring utility company did MUCH better.I wonder why that newspaper didn't compare percentages of customers off line between the two utilities [and the neighboring towns got 29 to 34 inches of snow, that is comparable to what we got for statistical purposes.

So there's my story. I'll take actual Camera pics of the library, as opposed to the cell pics that didn't turn out so well, and show you the newest arrivals at the Shack in the next bloggie :o)