The Christmas Cock

Steve had today off. He and Tone agreed to do some grocery and holiday shopping for me so I could work at home. Sounds very good in theory, doesn't it?

I asked these 2 adult men to get a seasonal, Christmas-y mat for OUTside the FRONT door. I currently have a fall themed one. While they were at the store, I called them. Explained that my kitchen mat, on the floor in front of the sink, is falling apart, while they are in there can they get me another kitchen mat? I also need 2white tablecloths, for the extra tables I will use from Christmas service, and I requested that they get all these items in Kohls.
They came home.

You know the 2 tablecloths I asked Steve to buy? [he was WITH me when I bought the first one, he knew exactly what to get] Oh, no they didn't have them. Did you go ASK, honey? No. So he bought 2 at walmart. They closely resemble burlap, I am having sensory issues just TOUCHING them.

But the mats. Oh my. They bought two, OK. Both for the kitchen, nothing for outside. One is a Christmas/ Winter theme, and it's mostly white and light blue. Lets take bets on how long THAT one lasts on the floor in a busy kitchen. I gave him the LOOK. The second mat? It's a frickin' ROOSTER. Yes, a ROOSTER, you take one LOOK at a rooster and it is supposed to dredge up holiday cheer unimaginable. I asked him, WTH Hon? Really, WTH?? A ROOSTER for Christmas cheer? And He said..... It's not Christmas without a Cock. My stomach still hurts from laughing at that. You gotta love the guy for the things he comes up with to cover his tail. So if any of you are interested, you can come to my house and see my Christmas cock laying on the kitchen floor. And he *did* get points for making me laugh.

"Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams."
Mary Ellen Kelly