Forgiveness, Gail Style.

I've been thinking a lot about Forgiveness this week. For people I Love, as well as for a person I post in public with. The "what" of what they did to me isn't so germane as, it was uncalled for by any action[s] of my own, and it hurt like hell.

I guess the crux of forgiveness for me is, HOW? When you've been wronged, how do you let it slide off of you, without closure, or even a simple apology from the person who done you wrong? And these 2 instances that I'm thinking of, they were pretty BAD wrongs, done to me. But I refuse to let them hang around my neck, that would kind of defeat the purpose of the cross and religious medals that hang there also, you dig? Once I saw the irony in that, I decided I had to do something, had to change my way of thinking, so that I could let this crap go.

I went to my friend Google. And in the course of googling "how to forgive someone" I came across this:

"......... imagine your tormentors as they were when they were babies or young children. Visualize these people one at a time, and really take time to feel the realities of their lives as toddlers. Babies are not born with a distinct desire to hurt others physically or emotionally. They are born craving love and protection. Visualize what your tormentors were like when they did nothing but crave love and protection.

If you work at realizing how pure and innocent your tormentors once were, you may come to a point where it becomes clear that their hurtful acts as older children or adults likely stem from their own wounds."

DING DING DING! Now, THAT I can understand. And THAT led to, maybe I can't forgive them, maybe it's not in me, but I can certainly Understand, someone speaking out of their own pain and wounds, we all have enough of them. And I can let it go. I never believed in the concept of "Forgive and Forget" on the whole. When you are put in a bad situation, you need to learn from it, the very first go-round, to avoid repeating it. Growing up hard, you learn that lesson early and well.....Not to let history repeat itself. Don't EVER forget. But I discovered, inside of me, that I can learn the lesson without hanging onto the textbook for it. The emotional garbage. And THAT made me happy and gave me hope. Who said an old dog can't learn new tricks? I have a thing or two to say to them :o)

I got a sign that Karma thinks I'm on to something, too. The town we moved to is divided into two parts...the town and the city. I live in the town, and the library is in the city. My beloved library. I have not found my way there since me moved, hence the occasional book order. While I was typing this up just now, Tone went out to get the mail. And in that bundle, was a informational flyer and schedule from our library....the very first one we've received since we bought the Shack.THAT is powerful karma talking...find a way to let it go, and your library will find You, woman!

Two pics, taken today, of the Amaryllis that I closed a window on last year, breaking the blooming cycle. Here is proof that you should keep trying, Amaryllis are hard to kill:

And to my friend/reader Tracy...here is a pic of the amaryllis bulb you sent me last summer, the one that was being a brat for you. You'll notice, it's a wee bit of a thing, I am thnking it's a hybrid that has gone bad. I'll keep trying with it every year as long as I see life in it, I'm a never-say-never kinda gal when it comes to plants:

And a follow-up,...... I *did* give notice last Monday morning. I got the impression my boss was really pissed at me. I told him, you all have been very good to me, I have no job on the table right now, so tell me how much notice you would like, and I'll work it out [fully expecting to be escorted to the door right then, the opportunity to frig with huge accounts is not something they take lightly] He asked, can you do a week I said Sure! He stomped off, I guess to talk to the owners. He came back with, "can you give me 2 weeks" and I said Sure! Then his "final offer" was, can I work thru the end of the month" . And I said Sure! So, I will start looking for a new job on the 18th, thinking, it will be 2 weeks until the end of the month, so I won't be messing with employer the old or employer the new. Make sense? Hehehe :o) So keep them crossed that I can find a position closer to home, I'd appreciate it.

Something else I wanted to put here, I need to mull it over a bit before I yell at someone. Today on Facebook, a relative announced that there was heartbreaking news about another relative. Steve and I were shocked, WTH? Why don't we know what is going on? And Steve was upset about it. He called another relative, who gave him the 411, and true... it is not good, and it is heartbreaking, we love that relative too. So, word up, certain people. Do NOT announce in a public venue, bad family news, let ALONE be vague about it, unless you are sure that all your relatives actually know the score. I realize, with all the public venues [and I dig the irony of blogging about it, but everyone who should know knows now] available, that mistakes happen, but I personally will jack the ass of anyone that messes with Steve, he didn't deserve that.


January:
10th: Stephen Foster Day
13th: Happy Birthday Lynn!
13th: Happy Birthday Tracy!
13th: Rubber Duckie Day
15th: International Fetish Day

Haiku and Hunting

What a wonderful holiday! I thoroughly enjoyed my week off, I wish it could continue.

A lot has happened over this week. We discovered IBM isn't inhabited by fools. Boo was told a while back her last date of employment was 12/21. I guess they didn't want to let her go..... they kept Boo on in the midst of the layoffs, and she goes full time with benefits in April, we did a DANCE when we heard that :O) YAY Boo!

Stevie completed the course [s] he was taking toward his masters and wound up with 3.9 GPA! YAY Stevie!!

Tone's computer classes start next month...YAY Tone!

We had our first Christmas in the Shack, and it was everything we hoped for and more. Also, we have decided that I am giving notice tomorrow morning. We found an on line calculator that lets you know how much you actually make when you figure in all your expenses, and when Steve and I saw the bottom line we laughed our asses off, and decided the commuting was done. I'll give them all the notice they want, I really do like the job. And the the hunt will begin up here. So the bloggie will be a lil jagged, but it will be here. Here's to job hunting :X

We are all healthy and happy, you can't get better than that.
I had thought to make New Year Resolutions. I think that every year. And then I find something better to do, like show you this. Straight from an e-letter I get. You know how I LOVE me my midnight haikus. Well, this selection is a LOT better than that :o)

----
Microsoft Haiku. In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third. Haikus are used to communicate a timeless message often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity - the essence of Zen.

-

Your file was so big.

It might be useful.

But now it's gone.

The Website you seek

Cannot be located, but

Countless more exist.

-

Chaos reigns within.

Reflect, repent, and reboot.

Order shall return.

-

Program aborting:

Close all that you have worked on.

You ask far too much

-

Windows NT crashed.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

-

Yesterday it worked.

Today it is not working.

Windows is like that.

-

First snow, then silence.

This thousand-dollar screen dies

So beautifully.

-

With searching comes loss

And the presence of absence:

"My file" not found.

-

The Tao that is seen

Is not the true Tao-until

You bring fresh toner.

-

Stay the patient course.

Of little worth is your ire.

The network is down.

-

A crash reduces

Your expensive computer

To a simple stone.

-

Three things are certain:

Death, taxes and lost data.

Guess which has occurred.

-

You step in the stream,

But the water has moved on.

This page is not here.

-

Out of memory.

We wish to hold the whole sky,

But we never will.

-

Having been erased,

The document you're seeking

Must now be retyped.

-

Serious error.

All shortcuts have disappeared.

Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

-

Merry Christmas !

Steve and I are home. In our Love Shack. We know where all of our kids are, and they are healthy and happy. We have everything we need, and quite a few of the things we want, and so we are blessed. I wish the same for all of you.

I wish for each of you a holiday season filled with special times with family and friends, lots of good food, and an overabundance of love and laughter.

Bathroom Redux

We don't eat bacon here a lot, it's just not a body friendly food. Most of the time. But, there are 3 times a year where I bust a bacon move, in a big way. Christmas, Thanksgiving, and a summer reunion party we host. Some of the dishes require bacon. I am of the opinion, if you are gonna cook a messy food like bacon, then why not cook a lot of it,....say, 3 pounds of thick cut bacon....and have done with it for a while, instead of cooking a pound at a time, and cleaning the kitchen 3 times to boot?

In theory, this is a GREAT thing. Cook 3 pounds of bacon before Turkey day, freeze 2, and then you have bacon for Christmas and the Summer reunion all ready to go, thaw and use. Except. This equation doesn't figure in Team Gail. The SMELL of bacon will drive my crew wild, and if they have reason to suspect there is cooked bacon in the freezer, my poor freezer will get torn apart by multiple family members, at different times, all of whom are convinced THEY have secret knowledge as to where *I* would stash the bacon. They can usually find it, damn them. So today, I made my "3 pounds of Bacon for 3 holidays and-if-I-believe-it-will-last-that-long-I-have a-bridge-to-sell-myself" annual bacon pilgrimage. I know though, as sure as I am telling you all about it, that I will get "2-Stripped"

Oh Hon, just 2 strips with my waffles/bagel/grilled cheese

Oh Mom, I haven't had bacon in so long

Oh, Mom, my budget won't cover bacon

Oh Mom, no one cooks bacon like you do....that ALWAYS works

to DEATH, and that bacon will be gone before the snow we're getting today is.

Sunday. Less than 2 inches of snow, Yay Team Gail! Steve didn't even need the snowblower, so as soon as the guys were done shoveling, Steve and I went to the mall [Yes, I know...I HATE shopping. UNLESS,..I have a 30% off any one item coupon at Old Navy, then I'm all in]

Which brings me right back to my train of thought.

Do you like getting your picture taken?

Because, I HATE it. I didn't realize it til we started having kids, but there it is. My niece made me a scarf, and asked that I FaceBook a pic of myself wearing the scarf. I have been putting that off since Thanksgiving, and decided today was time to man up. I've been looking at pictures of other people, trying to find out how they can pose comfortably, it's just not in me. Steve must have taken 10 pics, and then the fun started. He figured if I was laughing I wouldn't mind having my pic taken. All I have to say about Mr Steves' method of photography is "Thank God".

Thank God no kids were around
Thank God he wasn't standing in front of the living room windows.

Also, I have been informed that I am supposed to have an actual PIC of myself, as opposed to something I found humorous, as my avatar at said FaceBook. Who the hell made all these rules? Once again, Steve took lots of pics, but screw it, that's over my comfort level today. If people don't like that "I'm a lumberjack and Im OK" then it's all on their heads. Only one person picked up the Month Python reference anyway.

The Bathroom! I promised pics. There area few things still to be done, and they need to be left for when we have open windows and adequate ventilation [painting and flooring, they desTROyed the floor] but the 78" long shower:

is gone, and the tub:

is in place. A girl has Gotta have a bubble bath, and the Love Shack feels more like ours now.

This from my friend E, although I took it back to the beginning of the episode. All in the Family, when Edith is going thru the change. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it, and how many memories I have of watching this show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_cUVfYUuf0&feature=video_response

December:
21st: -Look At The Bright Side Day
-National Flashlight Day
-National French Fried Shrimp Day
-Hamburger Day
23rd: -Festivus

Am I here? Really??

Typed it all in,and published. Nada. Pissed. Will try again later. Oh MY this sucks.

I Forgot....

...... to Blog! I have been having major computer issues this week, none of my doing. Facebook decided I was coming from a bad IP [aol, of course] and first, made me type in words and announce that I am "Human". Then they just blocked me. The Bastards! So I made a tech report for them, and I am officially unbanned.

But I noticed something very interesting. I began to have the same problems with Google. And you know what? I can replicate the issue, it's THEIR bad, not mine. It only occurs after I use Firefox. [an alternate browser to AOL/ IE, or IE alone] I thought, maybe Google doesn't want the competition, since they have been rolling out Chrome, but who knows? Google, BTW, also owns Blogger.com, where you are right now reading my tale of woe. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck..... something isn't right, and I'll report back when I get to the bottom of it. Or my blog will disappear too @@

The bathroom,

[except for the small shit that we need to do,... stain and finish the new shelves, lay a new floor, and paint some small areas. All that will wait until after the holidays. Our peeps got to see the before, on Christmas they will be able to see the After, and then during he summer party they can see the finished product]

is DONE. I am THRILLED, and I will blog pics asap. We have a tub! Do you KNOW how much I prefer a tub and shower to a football field long shower? Well, now you do. The poor G.C put the drain stopper in backwards,

[that was pretty funny, and very telling. I REALLY liked that he came right out, told us he fucked up, and offered different solutions for the problem. That's why we'l hire him again if we need him]

so he had to go get us a universal drain stopper, then the cartridge for the shower was a lemon. Steve already replaced that. Every little annoying thing that could go wrong went wrong. The contractor asked us to rate him on a scale from one to ten, and without consulting each other, we both gave him a nine...that taper sucked BAD.

As I sit here, our Christmas tree is in the middle of the livingroom.Our first Christmas here, and we are still deciding where it should go. Truth be told,we both agree on where it's going, but just want to sit on our asses for a little longer. I will tell you, Steve is a BAD INFLUENCE on me. BAD. He has me addicted to movies. I vastly prefer books, I can count on the fingers of one hand, the movies that stood up to the original books. So to surprize him, today I found the original Jaws on HBO on demand. We kinda spent a lot of the afternoon watching that. Good times :O)

Also, I have to say, I had my first experience with a bootleg movie, and it was my last, too. "Inglorious Bastards" has been making the rounds [it is due out on PPV and dvd this Tuesday. I have not seen it yet, but Steve and Tony liked it so much we are buying it.] We tried to watch it last night, got 5 minutes in, and turned it off. The picture quality was so poor, we knew Quentin Tarantino deserved a better viewing than that. Gails' Advice to You...skip the bootlegs, they suck. I woulda been PISSED if I paid for that. Also, check the Redplum coupon flyer that came with todays paper, there is a 3$ off coupon for Inglorious Bastards right on the cover.

December:
12th: National Ding-A-Ling Day
13th: Ice Cream and Violins Day
15th: Car Herders Day
16th: Barney and Barbie Backlash Day

Red Plaid Boxer Briefs

Dear Wife, Husband, or S.O of the General Contractor:

Hi! My name is Gail, and I have had the distinct, um, pleasure of having your peep[s] work in my home. Except for the taper, the crew[s] were nice guys who tried to clean up after themselves, and I found them to be kind and funny.
However, we gotta have a talk.
About red plaid boxer-brief underwear.
And the men who wear them. Evidently, unbeknownst to them, I can see the material, I can tell by the elastic that they are boxers and not tighty-whities.....and a lot more. PLEASE, for the LOVE OF GOD....make these men crouch down, their back to you, BEFORE they leave for work. Get a gander of what they be presentin', you dig? I don't need to know any-THING about their undergarments. Or what they're covering. Or not. It's not that I haven't enjoyed the show.... It seems that maybe a certain man [STEVE! You know its Steve] is learning all about when the tables are turned,...and the woman is looking at the mens asses. And discovering that maybe, just maybe, he doesn't like it very much. Which makes me love him all the more, a little green-eyed monster is just Fiiiiiiiiine by me. But in my defense, *I* did not go looking for asses to appear, as if by magic, throughout my livingroom and stairwells. I'm just lucky, I guess.

Also? I find it to be a huge dichotomy.....if the pants are so loose that they hang at the nether regions of the hips....that the men STILL pick at their asses. Come on, I am going thru a LOT of stress, noise, and dust here. Do I NEED to see that? Would YOU want to? I am going thru Clorox wipes and Lysol spray [and I distinctly dislike the smell of lysol] to beat the band, over the visuals being presented to me.

To you Contractors and crews thereof.... I have made a short list of items for you to peruse at your leisure.....but hopefully before you report to the work site next.

-Please, please, keep the pants up. And the shirt down.

-Please show up in the general time frame that you have stated to us. If the taper said 8:30 am, arriving at 10:30 am,- with NO apology or acknowledgement that you have just pushed back completion of this project by a good 24 hrs,- is NOT acceptable. And, if we use this contractor again, we will specify that we do not want that taper to work in our home again.

-If part of the crew is in the bathroom, and your boss is outside, I don't want to hear, repeatedly and with gusto, that you :
-do not want you balls busted
-you will bust the other guy[s] balls
-fucking suck my balls
-this fucking sucks my balls [at this point I almost ruptured my self trying not to laugh out loud, I have never heard guys so fixated on balls]
-you can fucking suck my fucking balls
-and the rest of the fight you are having. [Unless you open the bathroom door, and I can get a chair and some popcorn. Your faces were angelic, who knew you were so fond of your balls, your friends balls, your neighbors balls, and anyone elses balls that were in your general vicinity ??

-Judge ye the distance between your workspace, and where the family members are. Can they HEAR your bodily explosions? Can they indeed, hear you laugh about them and rate them? Do you know if, perchance, Tony and Gail just sat down to lunch? And were treated to a musical interlude? Funny, I didn't see THAT on the final write up for job cost. Sure got our moneys worth outta THAT part of the crew.

Trying, TRYING to maintain a sense of humor. This sucks donkey balls, to quote a friend. I'm getting pissed and impatient, and Steve is bearing the brunt of it. It's Sunday morning now, and the tiling crew is here. The contractor says the tiling in that room is a 4-5 hour job if nothing goes wrong. [?? @@ ??] But I still have to wait for it to dry, to get grouted, to dry again, and to get sealed, and dry. Oh, YAY Team Gail. And guess what? The sound of the tile saw is deafening and unescapable.The Love Shack had better behave for a while, my brains are leaking out my right ear right now.

A link I thought tres funny. Scroll down and watch the video. The taper could have used this info:

http://www.wikihow.com/Wake-Up-Late-and-Still-Make-It-on-Time

December:
5th: Happy Happy Birthday Stevie! :o)
6th: National Gazpacho Day and Mitten Tree Day
7th: National Cotton Candy Day
8th: Take It In The Ear Day [oh my]